So I'm engaged, we're not getting married for another year and a half. He lives with his parents so we spend time there pretty often. His mother thinks that I hate her and that I'm closed off, but I'm just quiet. I don't know what to say to her, I feel like everything I say is wrong. I've become quite silent because she's always criticizing me and bossing me around. His little brother got a girlfriend that he knocked up the first month together, and she likes that girlfriend. I don't understand why she likes her, she's mean. Mom-in-law even said that she thinks they are sole mates but not sure about me and my fiance. My Fiance is on my side, but he feels like they don't really know me, and if they did they would like me. But how do I get close to a woman who won't listen? I feel like my actions should speak louder than my words, I'm respectful, responsible, helpful, I treat her son well and make him really happy. What should I do?
2007-02-18 16:08:06 · 9 answers · asked by kadan 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
I was in the exact same boat your in now a few years back, my mother-in-law hated me because i was taking her son away from her.. after 3 yrs of dating i forced him to move out (he was 22 by the time i made him move in with me)... it was the best thing i could have done for our relationship.. we have been together 5 1/2 yrs now and have a baby on the way, if i hadnt of signed his name onto the lease things would have been so different to what they are today.. it took his mum 4 years to take her guard down, even through we try and pretend it doesnt effect our relationship the mother-in-law in particular has a way of bring us down!! keep at it, and since you guys are engaged its a good time to start considering your options.. maybe its time to move out and enjoy this time of your life without any unwanted dramas. it will be the best thing you could do.. but if your religion or other beliefs doesnt allow it, i respect that. good luck
2007-02-18 17:16:02 · answer #1 · answered by AngD 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I agree with everyone on this. You are taking her baby away from her. Just try to remember that there's really no one good enough for a mother's son. Try to continue to be yourself and be kind and considerate to her. She is your future Mother in Law. When you get married she will still be a part of your life so you'll have to come to terms with her. She m,ay never change. You and your Fiance need to get out and get a place of your own as soon as you can. Don't wait for another year. He needs to let go of the apron strings soon.
2007-02-18 23:38:33 · answer #2 · answered by vanhammer 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You better make sure he is your soul mate. Before I got married I decided that the "inlaws" had to be supportive and people I get along with because when I get into an arguement or have a dilemma with my partner I will need them for advise and help. If you have a problem already with his family...it may just get worse and eventually the rift will come down to you or his family...and are you sure he'll be there for you.
Marriage is so much easier when you feel good about everyone you are committing to.
2007-02-18 18:43:46 · answer #3 · answered by Mangomum 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I think it is a matter of a woman taking her baby away from her.
You say she is mean--BUT she is the mother of the man you love and she did raise him--so she must have done something right.
Have you tried to spend time with her---such as have lunch with her, or include her in your wedding plans.
Someday you will have children of your own--and maybe you will have a son. Someday you will be the "in-law". Put yourself in her shoes. Maybe she will never warm up--maybe she will. She will always be his mother--so try and extend the olive branch and see what happens. You may be surprised.
2007-02-18 17:31:56 · answer #4 · answered by sidnee_marie 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
First, ask your self this question, would you and your hubby be financially stable to make it without them residing with you? if so, tell them adios! I even have lived with family individuals like that earlier and characteristic consistently performed what i'd desire to to assist out around the domicile, this female needs to be doing each thing if she does not have a job. Does she even understand the thank you to spell activity? As for the clothing being shrank. shop your grimy outfits on your room till you have time to do them your self. Or to get even, you are able to bathe a number of her outfits with a vivid pink sock or shirt! perchance then she would learn her lesson. If the dishes are you and your husbands, p.c.. them away & tell the others to bypass purchase some paper plates. As a final motel, attempt making out a chores checklist and divid it up between the 4 of you. verify to think on the subject of the reality that 3 of you artwork complete time and he or she does not. in spite of everything of that, if the situation isn't from now on powerful, tell them to get the F*** out!
2016-10-15 23:50:23 · answer #5 · answered by ? 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Start saving up and making plans to move as far away as possible. In law troubles are the worst. Talk to a marriage counselor -yes, before you get married! They can help you work through this before it gets out of hand! Best wishes to you.
2007-02-18 18:17:34 · answer #6 · answered by jnjsnana 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You have done what you should and can. Only thing left to do is keep smiling and saving your monies. He needs to move ASAP! Your in-law sounds like a very unhappy woman.
2007-02-18 16:14:31 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
She's the one who should change, not you. Just be yourself, don't change from the very good girl that you are, I mean it. Don't let her come between your fiance and yourself.
2007-02-18 20:20:32 · answer #8 · answered by jondavesnowy 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
well first of all i'm glad he's on your side!!! can't say the same for my hubby. but let me tell you it only get's worse from experience anyways, me and my inlaws aren't even on speaking terms, they don't even talk to my kids anymore (6,4)
2007-02-18 16:22:34 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋