My girlfriend and I are talking about having sex for the first time, but she's worried about how much pain its going to cause. What are some things I or she can do to reduce the pain as much as possible?
2007-02-18 15:29:47 · 26 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
It depends on your age. If she is that scared, then she may not be ready at all.
2007-02-18 15:32:40 · answer #1 · answered by Army Wife 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
First of all, make sure you both really want this. Be careful that you are not doing this just to please the other person.
Second, keep in mind that this is mostly about her. Your efforts should center around making her comfortable and happy. I guarantee that if she enjoys it you will too.
PREPARE: I would suggest that you set the mood. Be somewhere warm and comfortable, with her favorite music (slow, relaxing). Have a water-based lubricant and condoms on hand. Consider candles. Do not get her drunk. Do not do this when she is really tired. Set aside time because this important.
FOREPLAY: Take the time to get her ready. If you're having sex, then you've probably been to 3rd base before, so you know how she likes to be touched. This is the time to use what you know to make her comfortable and excited. She'll be nervous, so be patient, and ask often if she likes what you're doing and if you can go ahead.
Don't assume that because she's excited, she's going to be wet enough. She may be wet quickly--you may be lucky that way. If she's not, then you need to lubricate before having sex (with the condom on). Use lots of lubrication, and take everything VERY slow. There will be a temptation to go in quickly after the first few moments. . .don't do this, continue to go slowly until she indicates through her words or body language that she wants you to go faster.
AFTERWARD: Treat her well. There's a lot of emotion after the first time you have sex--for both of you. You might want to end by just holding each other. . .no matter what, be careful what you say so that she doesn't feel ashamed or sad about this.
Have fun, and take care.
2007-02-18 23:53:21 · answer #2 · answered by avast 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well first, relax. Being tense will make it worse. You can also do some "stretching" for the week or so before... The new KY Warming Lubricant is also very helpful.
In all honesty, if she has reservations, don't do it. Her saying it might hurt may be her way of rationalizing her feelings of not wanting to do it at all. Try to be supportive. Tell her there's no rush, that you'll be ready when she is, and just stop bringing it up. My first time was definately rushed, I felt like I had to to measure up to his expectations. Do everything you can to make sure she doesn't feel that way!
The time will come when it is right. Everyone has a first time and we all live, so obviously it's not unbearable, unless you didn't want to do it in the first place.
2007-02-18 23:34:55 · answer #3 · answered by Charade 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
As for the pain...go slow and use a lubricant. Water or silicone based are the best.
As for anxiety...be gentle and caring. Ask her if she's ok, if she's in pain. Let her know that you're not just there to get a piece of &%$, and you are there b/c you love her.
The 1st time for a girl can be more scarry than enjoyable. During foreplay remember to reciprocate "favors", and don't be demanding about things you may want her to do for you.
2007-02-18 23:38:49 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Lubrication is the key. Make sure everything is nice and lubed. If you can get with a dude that has a small penis I heard that helps, but isn't necessary. Just ask him to go slow and take it easy, and oh yeah make sure it is with someone you love and use protection, I am obligated to say that last part. But yeah, just make sure everything is nice and lubed, and don't go like pornstars your first time. You should be fine if you are ready.
2007-02-18 23:35:17 · answer #5 · answered by NightTrainWooWoo 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Go slow. Listen to her. Ask her to tell you what she likes and what hurts. Not to be graphic, but use your fingers to "loosen" her up a little (sorry!). Help her RELAX!
My first time wasn't painful at all, and I don't regret it at all either. And it's mostly because I was mentally prepared, and he was considerate of what I wanted and how I felt.
Just make sure you are both really ready.
2007-02-18 23:33:21 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
put on some music to set the mood. John Mayer, Led Zeppeli(ten years gone is a good one)
Oh ya I always put on shine on your crazy diamond by pink floyd which is track 1 on the greatest hits cd. That will set the tone bro!!
Be sure to use a condom because you don't wanna ruin the best 15 seconds of your life!
2007-02-18 23:38:23 · answer #7 · answered by Jay Dee 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Best way to do that is foreplay dude!?!?
The whipped Cream, Body Paint, Handcuffs etc. I know it sounds kinky but it works... The more aroused the less painful...
Cos by the end of it (If you do it right) she'll be ready to do anything you want!
2007-02-21 17:21:30 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
one of the best sex experiances for me was when that certain boyfriend was really gentle and asked "are you ok?" just make sure she is comfortable the whole time...if its that important to you, let her have control the whole first time. Wait till shes ready to get into it. and dont worry the first time is usually not the best time.
2007-02-18 23:33:55 · answer #9 · answered by just me 3 · 1⤊ 1⤋
If you're not willing to go down on her make sure you have pleanty of lube. Other than that i would say maybe you should wait, until you know that it's right, if there is any question in our mind if you should do it I say don't!
2007-02-18 23:33:59 · answer #10 · answered by an infantry mans wfie 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Make sure she is relaxed and wet then take that first thrust with care and also use some lubricant .
2007-02-18 23:34:20 · answer #11 · answered by burning brightly 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋