OK so I am 29 and my girlfriend is 25. We have been together 5 years and she is pressuring me big time to get engaged. We have done long distance this whole time and she has lied to me several times about big things, the last of which was about 2 months ago. I told her that we need stability and to rebuild trust before engagement. Now...she says if I don't propose by end of march she will leave me. Given that my family is concerned about this woman bc she has hurt me I simply said that I wanted her to go to my parents and tell them how much she loves me and that she will give me a good life. She refused to and says its horrible for me to ask her to do it. Is it that bad? Shouldn't a woman who loves me want to do something so simple to make me happy? PLease help me out....feel like I am crazy here.
2007-02-18 15:26:57 · 11 answers · asked by micg70 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
No u aint crazi @ all if she really love u and really cares bout u she is willing to do anythang and everythang 4 u If ur family is concerned about yall relationship as well as ur self then maybe she aint the 1 that if u cant stay in a relationship without lyin then the relationship isnt really worth anythang and not 2 be mean but if she really luv u then she wudnt care if yall get married at this point especially when doubts r in da air i hope that i cud help good luck
2007-02-18 15:34:27 · answer #1 · answered by Watsonboy 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You have not really supplied enough data or mentioned some of these breeches of trust so we were at a disadvantage to give you the most accurate answer we can give.
I can relate to your problem because I have lived through something very similar to what you are describing. I had a woman who was pressuring me to get engaged and married and I didn’t trust her because of breeches. Even though you have not mentioned the breeches of your situation, you are describing the same syndrome I had. I was telling my girl and myself after the breeches, “let me just go for this certain length of time with no breeches and we can go forward on this”. That day never came because she kept breeching my trust. I never did marry this woman and she kept doing things that should have made me realize that the relationship was never going to get to that place of mutual trust.
In other words fella, you need to realize, accept and act on the fact that this women is not worthy of marrying you and will probably never earn your trust. You will not get to that place with her so stop kidding yourself and wasting your time. Start over again looking for someone who really has the right qualities and who has earned and kept your trust. Please be smart and do not follow your gut here because you have been fooling yourself. You know that you are in denial about this.
About asking her to talk to your parents. I think you are deluding yourself by creating this situation. Can't you see that she doesn't want to? Doesn't that tell you something?
If you want more follow up you can write to me and give me more data and I will answer.
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2007-02-18 23:53:51 · answer #2 · answered by temtemtemtemtemtemtem 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I don't think you were asking too much of her to go speak to your family, after all if you do end up getting married, it would go a long way toward starting out on the right foot with her future in-laws. You cannot marry someone because you feel pressured, and it also isn't fair to her to keep her waiting. Marriage is all about compromise. We do things for each other whether we feel like it or not, because we are committing ourselves to make the other feel loved and happy. Unless, of course, our morals or principals are being compromised.
2007-02-18 23:42:55 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Trust and communication is a BIG part of marriage.
You didn't state what she lied about, but you seem to remember it clearly so it weighs on your mind.
An important decision, such as asking someone to marry you, should not be the result of an ultimatum.
You have to ask yourself if you trust AND love this woman enough to share your life with her and to forgive her past indiscretions.
Some people are just in love with the idea of being in love.
2007-02-18 23:40:31 · answer #4 · answered by no_lie_from_a_guy 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If she lied several times mmmmm i would think twice and i THINK YUR WAITING TO LONG FOR SOMETHING BIG TO HAPPEN 5 years together? thats kinda a long and maybe she was tired of waiting. 5 years of waiting for something like marriage is a long time
maybe she wants more excitment
she wants to take thing a step further like MARRIAGE
if u have 2nd thoughts about marriage maybe u dont like her that much? just a guess
2007-02-18 23:30:56 · answer #5 · answered by LaZlow 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Don't listen to her, do what you want to do. Don't ever let a women or anyone force you to do something that you don't want to do... because later on it would just be a disaster or you will end up breaking up because its not what you really want.... So, take your time think about it.... life is short but making a wrong decision would last a life time... so take your time and make the choice you want to make...
2007-02-18 23:32:51 · answer #6 · answered by Rain L 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you have any doubts, you should not get married or even engaged. All marriage is is a peice of paper. She should love you enough to wait until your really ready to get married. And you sound like a really sweet guy who could get any other girl!!!
2007-02-18 23:31:03 · answer #7 · answered by pookiebear24 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You have a long life ahead of you... don't give it up for a relationship that is unstable and lacks trust... and absolutely don't give in to ultimatums... you'll end up giving in to everything and lose yourself in the meantime... your not crazy but love can sometimes be your own worse enemy... let it go and see if it comes back to you
2007-02-18 23:38:49 · answer #8 · answered by troubled 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If she actually loves you enough then i think she would go to your parents and say that but i don't think she wants to be pressured into saying it. i don't know about this girl i feel bad things coming if you go through with this. when i got married i went to my gf's father and had a long talk about how i felt for his daughter and asked permission for me to marry her...i told him it would mean the world to me. but people have their own ways i guess.
2007-02-18 23:34:31 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
don't marry this girl right now if you have doubts. have a serious sit-down talk with her about what she has done to make you not trust her....
2007-02-18 23:31:25 · answer #10 · answered by Jebbie 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋