my bf is not romantic?

Question

he's not keen on romantic gestures which i'm silently craving. my boyfriend doesn't give me flowers unless it's my birthday. he doesn't say "i love you" often, and sometimes appear to be a little insensitive to my "romantic" needs. but i do know he loves me.

Answer 1

Hmmm you just stated a huge part of your problem there. I quote, "gestures which i'm silently craving". Silently? If you act live everything is peachy, he's going to think you're perfectly happy with the way things are!

He may be more romantic if you let him know you like such gestures. If all he wants is to make you happy, and he thinks you're already happy, he has no reason to change things.

Why don't you try some romantic gestures? :) The man doesn't have to initiate all romance! Set up a romantic dinner, or try holding his hand in public, etc. He'll learn you enjoy these things that way.

In the past, it's been a comman fault of women to accept the status quo. We learn at a young age from the movies and music industry that a man is supposed to come along, sweep us off our feet, and know exactly what we want, and our role is to accept the way things are. We're taught to guard ourselves and let nobody in, because good girls are patient and save themselves. Life is no movie! Most guys have no clue what we want and many of us are too quiet to speak up. But we're in a great day and age where such preset notions are changing! Lets end the mystery, and speak up! We'll all be happier. :)

Answer 2

You know what? He probably does do romantic gestures. You just don't notice them because they're not the kind of romantic gestures that you're looking for.

Think about it this way: Would it really make you feel better if your boyfriend bought you roses? His wallet is $20 lighter and the roses are dead in a few days. Or would you rather that he kept those $20 for a movie with you and then you have the memory of that date and unlike the roses, that memory will never die?

Really, just open your eyes and mind - your boyfriend is probably being romantic in his own way. Just because it's not the way you want it to be doesn't mean it doesn't count!

Besides, as long as you guys have a strong relationship, who really cares for the mushy stuff? There is enough of it in movies. [grins sheepishly]

Answer 3

I see the problem is miscommunication. In order for him to be the right person for you you have to be the right person for him. I mean you need to reciprocate your love for him. Do things for him and maybe he will understand what you are missing from him. Here is an idea. Give him flowers for a while and see what happens. Say I Love You to him more often and see what happens. Do the things he would want to do for you. Just remember every guy that you have dated or even had a crush on will be piled into one person on the day of your wedding. So be careful about getting hurt with this one.

Answer 4

Some guys do, some guys don't, some guys might...if he gives you flowers on your b-day then at least he gave you flowers! My fiance is the only man to ever have bought me flowers! Even then it was only for special occasions! Tell him how you feel and let him know that romantic things will get him more sex if he does it right. The lack of romance will reduce his chances for sex the longer you have to wait to have that need fulfilled. Truly MOST men are idiots when it comes to romance, be glad if you can get him to go to a chick flick once in a blue moon...he's better than most men!

Answer 5

There's not a lot of rewards from a relationship where affection is not demonstrated in a meaningful way. You have three choices:
1) Sit down with your boyfriend and tell him what you need from him to make it all come together for you - he won't just "know" because he loves you. You are going to have to tell him.
- or-
2) Conclude that even though he loves you, he's just not going to get that you have needs that he can't meet. Move on.
- or -
3) Learn to live with his inadequacies because there are so many other positives in the relationship.

Answer 6

there are some guys who are serious with there feeling towards there girlfriend but they just dont like to show it but keep it to themselves and most of those quite and look like insinsitive ones will turn out to be the most romantic ones once both of you decides to settle down,so just keep an open mind you'll never know you might have a winner boyfriend in him,just be patient and show him that you care a lot about him

Answer 7

If the two of you live together, then try to wake up before he does. Give him kisses on his chest and south. Then at night, wear some soft smelling perfume and a sexy nitey to bed. If that doesn't work, then hit him in the head with a skillet then maybe he will get your point. lol. Good luck.

Answer 8

Well, your boyfriend can't read your mind. Guys don't take hints unless they have to do with sex. Otherwise, you need to be very honest , direct and very clear on what you want and need and how he can achieve that for you. Perhaps there is also something he would like from you as well.

Answer 9

Everyone is different in how they express themselves, If that's your biggest hang up I think you are doing okay. You could leave him and find a romantic, meth junky, impotent, violent, alcoholic, bisexual, unemployed ******?
Get my point? Count your blessings, you can ask him to be more romantic, but if that's his biggest fault maybe you have the issue.

Answer 10

Yeah, I would like to know the answer to that question too. The only thing I know is to be patient and keep communication open