I've been dating a woman for awhile now and things were great. I started really liking this girl a lot but then all of a sudden she started pushing me away. Becoming distant and seems like she's changed. I finally found out her reasoning was because everyone else in her life that she's gotten close to has left her. Her mother, father, friends, family, and ex boyfriend... (lucky her).. anyway. She says she's growing to like me a lot and its scaring her that she's affraid I'd end up leaving her too. So how do we work around this problem? I am growing to love her and willing to work with her through this problem. I'm not looking for the too much baggage run answer either.
2007-02-18 15:11:05 · 6 answers · asked by massure4hire 5 in Health ➔ Mental Health
I have a very close friend like that. Lost a lot of family members in a short period of time & afraid to get close to anyone because afraid of getting hurt. I completely understand what you're saying about her pushing you away.
I don't know how you can get her to the point where she can trust that you love her enough not to leave her. Ask her what you can do. Tell her that you want to be with her & you're willing to do anything to prove that you're not going to leave her.
2007-02-18 15:17:48 · answer #1 · answered by Michelle *The Truth Hurts 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Consider that she may not be entirely accurate in blaming the problem on the fact that everyone close to her ends up leaving her. I'm not suggesting she's lying, there may be another deep seated cause that she does't even recognize. Therapy does sound like a good approach. I know that PTSD (post traumatic stress disorder) can cause an inability to get close to others. I have ptsd and struggle with this myself.
2007-02-19 10:17:08 · answer #2 · answered by paddy0159 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Make sure you are really in this for the long haul. You don't want to end up hurting her more.
Just be there, and reliable, and dependent. In time she will trust you.If she starts pushing you away, gently bring it to her attention and remind her you are there to stay.
2007-02-18 15:24:16 · answer #3 · answered by pchiz 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Keep being there for her. And see if maybe you can get her to a therapist who will help her deal with her fears.
2007-02-18 15:25:28 · answer #4 · answered by cg17 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
um
Well, she really likes you....to begin with.....
Well, she is afraid you are going to leave her.
But you love her a lot (like she likes you back)
So, you need to make some promise.......something to assure her that you will never leave her.
That sounds a lot like marriage, does it not?
2007-02-18 15:20:49 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
by being there for her
2007-02-18 15:20:06 · answer #6 · answered by braille 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋