I am 16 and I am pretty sure I am pregnant, and I am sure the father is my ex boyfriend. He is in the military and leaving in a few months. He is a jerk, and I don't really care if he is in the childs life or not. Would it be wrong for me not to tell him, and let my child grow up not knowing it's father?
2007-02-18 15:06:20 · 7 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
Nicole, I'm sorry for your situation. My step daughter is 16, lives with her mom and we just found out she is pregnant. Her boyfriend is a domestic violence case. I am going to be very firm here and don't mean to hurt your feelings any. In my book, honesty is best policy. I like to hear it straight.
First, take the EPT Test and if it comes out positive, go to your doctor for a quick urine pregnancy test.
Second, there is a reason you say you are pretty sure he is the father. Sounds to me like you may need to request a dna test from him and whomever else it could be if he is not matched so you get the right person before causing stress on a wrong person. Guarantee is better than pretty sure.
Third and you aren't going to like this, no matter wether you want this guy (if he is the father) in the childs life is not ultimately your decision. You made the bed and now you must lie in it. This (if positive) child deserves the right to have that opportunity to know his/her father wether you like him or not. Truth is, most men treat there offspring better than the one they are parking in (if you get what I mean).
Fourth, you will have to deal with him for the rest of your life if he is the father. You will have 19 years of child support/visitations/school functions/birthdays and much more, then when they graduate/have children of their own/grandchildrens birthdays and such. You'd better learn to get along because if you can't be the better person here for the love of your child, you will do this child more harm than good and another thing, (DON"T EVER FIGHT WITH THE FATHER IN FRONT OF THE CHILD) on the phone/in person or any other way.
My husband had 3 children by the time he was 21 with their mother and they never married. Since, they've done nothing but fight. They both would do it in front of the children and I've finally got my husband to walk away when she starts in. This has over the years caused the children pain/confusion/feelings of having to favor a parent. Please, don't do this no matter how you feel about him personally. It's no longer about your world, it's now someone else's whom did not ask to be brought into this world, you both chose that.
2007-02-18 15:24:27 · answer #1 · answered by Tell It Like It Is! 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
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2016-05-07 16:54:39 · answer #2 · answered by ? 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yes. It would be extremely wrong. Just because YOU consider your ex to be a jerk, does not mean that over the years he might not change, and be a good father to your child. Personally, being raised without a father or a male role model in my life, has seriously altered the way I grew up, and the way I acted and became as an adult. My situation is somewhat different though, because my father was abusive and my mother chose to leave him. But take what you will from what I've said. I just wanted to point out that this choice you are considering making is the WRONG choice. Nobody should ever NOT be told they are a parent, even if they aren't capable of BEING one.
2007-02-18 15:14:16 · answer #3 · answered by MilitiaMasterV 2 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Advice To Get Ex Back - http://tinyurl.com/WlJn4rZzOo
2015-09-27 23:53:15 · answer #4 · answered by ? 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He has a right to know and a legal obligation to financially support his child.
2007-02-18 15:11:44 · answer #5 · answered by Boston Bluefish 6 · 2⤊ 0⤋
you should tell him, so that he knows he has a son or daughter. but you aint got to deal with him
2007-02-18 15:10:15 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 2⤋
He has a right to know!!
2007-02-18 15:10:09 · answer #7 · answered by K 5 · 2⤊ 1⤋