my nineteen year old stepson lives with my husband and I?

Question

he goes to school for 2 hrs. in the morning and works from 11-5 or 6 mon thru fri. We have two other kids living at home, one 17 and one 12. The 17 year old is in school all day and has a part time job. His hours are very minimal though. My question is, regarding chores around the house and babysitting the 12 year old, albeit once a week at best for only a few hours or so,my husband and I argue a lot over who should do what. He feels my 17 year old should babysit more and do more chores and the 19 year old doesnt have to pitch in with chores at all because he works. The 19 year old also feels that he shouldn't have to babysit at all on the weekends since that is when he sees his girlfriend Although the 17 year old now has a girlfriend. Any advice here, I am sick of arguing over this.

When I say babysit. I am only referring to a few hours a week, if that. One day mind you.

Answer 1

I have two step children and two younger children with my husband so we run into this problem a lot....

I agree that the 19-year-old should also participate in chores whether or not he works. He still has a responsibility to your family and to your house since he is living there. He'll have to work chores into his schedule or cut back on something else. Good luck!

Answer 2

Other then baby sitting what kind of chores are these kids doing that is taking up so much of their time that you two are having to argue about it.?

One takes out the trash.? One may mow the lawn once a weeks or shovel a drive way. ? Some one might have to do the dishes once or twice a week. ? Do you have a dishwasher.? Then they might have to loud it with their dirty dishes.? One might have to do a loud of laundry which will have their clothes in it too.

BIG DEAL!!. It is all a part of living at home. They have their own room that they themselfs should have to keep clean or if they share a room then they have to keep their half clean.

You work your husband work but you guys don't argue about which one of you has to clean the house or pay the bills do you.?

As for the baby sitting maybe you could have them switch up every other week.

Maybe when one of them baby sits they can bring their girl friend over to help as long as they behave. It s not like an infant, the 12 year old can basicly take care of themself. The older person is just there to make sure they are safe.

Answer 3

Why does a 12 year old NEED a babysitter to begin with? At 12 a large number of kids ARE babysitting. As far as "chores" the 19 year old should clean up after himself same goes for the other two kids. And since the 19 year old is working, he should be pitching in for groceries/household bills.

Answer 4

Well if 19 yr old is working sooooo many hrs that he doesn't have a couple of hours during the week to help out with little step sis, (time, I might add, when he could be doing his home work, or some other useful thing) then maybe he should take some of that bankroll and pay rent.

Does he eat the food you buy?? Does he enjoy the results of the utilities you pay for..ie, hot water, heat, or air conditioning ?

This darling needs a lesson on Free Rides and the fact that there aren't any in life.

And Dear old Dad.......give him a smack up side the head for not backing you up on this. it's things like this that require a united front. Or HE can start cooking and cleaning while you go on strike and you can watch your daughter and not "burden" the rest of them..... How long do you think that will last?

Good luck!

Answer 5

I think that the 12 year old if responsible is old enough to look after them selfs for awhile. I believe some chores around the house for everyone is ok because they need to do there part it does seem like the 17 and the 19 year old are working really hard they are in school and working that is a big chore in its self.

Answer 6

Maybe suggest that your husband insist the 19 yr old start putting all his extra money into savings to start getting out of your house.

And I don't know the laws there, but does the 12 yr old really need babysitting, especially if it's only a couple hours a week? Where I live it is fine for a 12 yr old to be left alone for a couple of hours. I was DOING the babysitting at 12.

Answer 7

My husband and I have four sons, plus we have my mom living with us. She has Alzheimer's, and needs 24/7 adult supervision. My older two work after they get home from college. Seven people make for a lot of chores, including occasional Grandma-watching duty if my husband and I have to be gone in the evenings or we have to work late.

Long ago we divided up the kitchen and household chores. Everyone does their own laundry, except I do my mom's and my husband's. Saturday mornings are spent doing household chores unless you've done them on Friday ahead of time.

Every hour spent "Grandma-sitting" counts as a family credit, which can be spent using our PayPal account online at the rate of $10/credit. It's better pay than minimum wage, and we don't have to hire an outside care service to come in, and she is comfortable with my sons.

Other things can earn family credits, too. Shoveling snow, cleaning the dog poop from the yard, cleaning the garage, mowing the lawn can earn credits at the same rate. Normal chores (like setting/clearing the table, emptying dishwasher, washing pots, vacuuming, etc) don't earn credits because these are jobs that are necessary to keep the house clean. It's the extra jobs that earn the credits.

Credits cannot be bartered or sold, but you can do someone else's jobs for the credits if they let you. You can lose credits for bad attitude, lying, or breaking house rules (like curfew, smoking, bad internet choices, drugs, etc).

That's our system. Maybe it'll help you.

Answer 8

I think the 17 and the 19 year old should take turns. I think it is only fair. It is family responsibility and your husband needs to back you up. It is only fair. Also chores should be shared. Everyone lives in the house and should help. Have them alternate weekends babysitting it is only fair.

Answer 9

we have a similar situation in our house, the answer we found is simple, everybody gets on with the chores till the work is done, where you have 5 in the house we have six, my partner and i, and four kids ranging from 9 to nearly 18, they all have to tidy their own rooms each day, bringing down any dirty laundry, the rest is then divided between us all, one will clean the living room, one the kitchen, one the hallways, one the bathroom, this is done on a rota basis, and keeps it fair. when done this way the whole house is cleaned in less than two hours, once the kids are out of the house, my partner and I then get on with laundry, shopping, gardening and all the other jobs needing to be done, as to the babysitting, again make it on a rota basis, one weekend on, one off, with payment or reward of other kind for whoever does it, this way each and every one of us, does a fair share of the work, and then once it's done we can all enjoy time to our own pursuits.

Answer 10

''We additionally anticipate him to make a contribution to cleansing and tidying the living house and to cook dinner for us all in specific situations'' he's no longer your servant.it is your activity to cook dinner,and clean the living house.yours and your husband's.he could save his very own room clean and specific wash and iron his very own outfits-in many cases clean after HIMSELF.what precisely do you anticipate extra from an 18 3 hundred and sixty 5 days previous boy?he's eighteen.he could spend his time specializing in his study and having relaxing like a number of young babies of his age.or artwork if he's no longer in college. for a fashion long is he staying with you and your husband?i comprehend it is confusing to handle a young person yet in view which you're disturbing approximately no longer getting alongside you and your better half could help him out looking a place of his very own to stay.first with the help of looking him a job-if he does not have one.possibly his father could lend him sufficient money to bypass stay to tell the tale his very own and that they could make a deal that the boy will pay him off a sprint with the help of little each and each month.. there is not any incorrect thank you to become incredibly ''autonomous'' in case you do no longer stay on your guy or woman