Biracial relationship help?

Question

Ok i am a hispanic girl dating a black guy and we are really serious and my mom doesn't approve of it because she says that black guys are players and that she would hate me to marry one and she wouldnt accept me if i get married with him and it might be soon.what do i do??help me please

ok i met him in my university because he is a basketball player there and i am just a regular student and well i went to one of the games he asked for my phone number we hit it off and my mom hates it because she came to visit me at my house i introduce she flipped

Answer 1

Hola, Chica. I am sure your Mommy is just trying to look out for you. However, she is doing the same thing a lot of people do to Hispanic people, stereotyping. He MIGHT be a player, since many guys are players -- of all cultures. However, you judge him for him. If he meets your standards, then I am sure your Mommy will love him, too, in time.

Just be careful not to OVERLOOK his faults just to prove a point to your family. Judge him like you would deal with any date.

Enjoy the brotha' but kick him to the curb if he doesn't cut it!!

Good luck!!

Answer 2

Well, first off, good on you, girl. I'm in an interracial relationship myself, and I absolutely LOVE the cultural infusion. It's refreshing and a very beautiful thing.

And secondly, your mom needs to turn off the racial profiling. Has she met your guy? Can she really generalize him, even if she doesn't know him? I had the same problem at first, because I'm a "white girl" from Queens, and he's a "Hispanic" from the Bronx, and my mom very much flipped. However, after meeting him, and learning that he didn't wear his pants to his ankles, and his choice of music didn't include the topics of money, hoe's, and cars, she totally accepted him.

Tell mom that your guy is really important to you. That, to you, her acceptance and approval means the world, as does he, and you'd love for her to understand where your feelings are coming from. Hopefully, seeing that he's a good guy, and he's not a "player" like she thinks he is, she'll learn not to stereotype, and learn to see the man, and not the color.

Good luck!

Answer 3

Speaking from experience, three tips:

-Avoid talking about being "really serious" with Mom for a while. Even if you are, do your best to be open-minded with Mom and always remember that she most likely has your best interest at heart, even if she's miguided. Agree to think about it; it makes you look mature.

-Don't give ultimatums. Make it clear to Mom that you want a healthy relationship with both her and your boyfriend, and don't threaten to cut off anyone.

-Try to transcend racial stereotypes by building personal realtionships. It's hard to dislike someone who's just a nice guy! Oh, and try to keep Mom out of any arguments you have with the boyfriend so that she doesn't get any fuel to use against him.

Good luck!

Answer 4

Ah yes, now I'm a white fella, but my friend is Hispanic. I think it may not be just black guys. Seems to me that my friends mom wasn't really cool with the idea of me too, but more from a cultural point of view. Hispanics are very proud people, and many of them are very catholic people too. There's alot to overcome. I even had to get around the language barrier.

Your friend needs to show your mother HUGE amounts of respect ALL the time for a LONG time. He has to pass all of her tests. Hispanic moms are very protective and can be dangerous when one of us non-hispanics comes sniffing around. You have to remember a few things too. Us "gringos" and others are extremely attracted to latinas, ya'll are hot! Your mom is very much aware of that and is gonna protect you from it.

Don't get married right away, your friend needsd to prove himself to your mom, you know that. If he loves you he will do it just as I had to.

Answer 5

I think almost every mom has this fear for some reason. You should talk to your mom and tell her why you like this guy and have him to meet her....not all black guys are players trust me because I've been with one for 4 years I should know. But if all else fails you have to listen to your heart, it may hurt to go against your mom but sometimes you have to stand up for what's right!

Answer 6

A lot of black guys are players. I have seen it so many times. They go from girl to girl. They even have more than one girl pregnant at a time I have friends of all races and this subject has come up many time. Its usually when they are young and immature, and high school drop outs. See with your eyes and not with just your heart. You sound young finish your education then think about marriage. If your relationship makes it though then you know he loves you for you.
encourage him to do the same.

Answer 7

talk to your mom about it...

if hes not a player and you BOTH are in love...follow your heart.

with love from a fellow latina! <3

Answer 8

Have your mother meet him and get to know him on a personal level. If that doesn't work, go to family counseling to talk about it.

Answer 9

sounds like a hard situacions.... but... you're gonna have to talk with her seriously, because its your happiness you are talking about... no ofense, but its not her life... I understand that it can be really difficult to have a different opinion than our mother's... trust me... in my country we have a saying for that, it doesn`t sounds too good in english, but is like this ' is better to have a red moment than 1000 without color..' it means, that, in the end, is better to spend one difficult moment if it lead you to what you want.... Best of wishes!!!

Answer 10

have your bf over to the house often so your mother gets to know him

if she decides to like him then good

if she still thinks this guy is no good for you then listen to her as she has lots of experience which you don't