Yesterday my boyfriend was trying to be all snuggly, but I just wasn't into it. I felt gross, and fat and just didn't want him to touch me. I haven't been getting alot of sleep so I was really tired, and a bit grumpy. So were watching a movie and he was trying to be all touchy feely and I kept pushing him away. Finally I got so fed up with it I was like "ok just keep your hands to yourself". So then he says "well don't sit on the couch then" so I was like "fine"and moved to the chair. Anyways, he stopped talking to me so I asked him, "what you can't talk to me anymore?" and then he turns to me and goes, "what I can't touch you anymore. what the he!! is up with that?" I pretty much just went home after that without giving him an answer.
Today comes around, and I tried to talk to him but he just isn't speaking to me. What is going on here? I don't think I did anything wrong, am I in the wrong here?
2007-02-18 14:08:26 · 11 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
As much as we guys like to think we can read women, we can't always get it right. You should have just told him that you didn't want to be close right then. He might not have picked up on the fact that you were tired. Now he feels bad because he did something wrong, but he doesn't know what. Guys seem to always hear that we don't get close often enough- and when he tried it this time, he got a bad taste from it. He's a little confused now.
So now, after all that, would it have not been easier to just say "I don't want to be close right now"? Granted, he should have known better, but hey- he is still a guy. The rule of thumb is that for every year you've been married to a guy, you can expect him to understand one thing about you without it being said. :-) Telepathy doesn't work. You have to communicate! Just talk to him. One more thing....he knows he screwed up, but you can't call him on it, or he'll deny it until he dies. Just understand that he knows that you know, and carry on. Best of luck to you both.
2007-02-18 14:26:19 · answer #1 · answered by dallasfanb 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I'm going to be frank here: you acted like a *****. The world isn't going to end because you were having an off day, but you should explain to him why you were acting the way you did. He can't read your mind, so he doesn't know (and if he does he's obviously not making the connection) why you didn't want him to touch you. His natural reaction is to think *he* did something wrong, especially when you responded in such a hostile manner. His could shoulder is his way of dealing, because it hurts when someone is cruel to you for no reason. Think about it: if the situation were reversed, how would you react? You two should be more open about how you really feel, that's what relationships are for. Such drama is quite overrated.
2007-02-18 14:26:34 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Yea, you started everything with your bitchy attitude. Once you yelled at him not to touch you, he was completely turned off and it will take time for him to get over it. If you didn't feel like being touched that day, you should just have told him you were tired and gone home instead of making him feel unwanted. It's you that owes an apology to him.
2007-02-18 14:14:45 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Hello there.. I understand exactly how you felt but, honey, we have to tell them what is going on...Yes.. That means You have to say to him..."oh honey I just feel so fat and gross today and I just kinda feel out of it.... being here with you helps me but I just can't be really be lovey dovey today..I'm sorry.. 9 time out of 10 he might have said something to make you feel better and perhaps everything would have been okay... :) Sometimes our communication is just off thats all.. so now he just feels rejected....
2007-02-18 14:15:46 · answer #4 · answered by Marilyn Denise Y 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
In my experience guys are more fragile than women. You hurt his ego. Unless you specifically told him you felt gross and fat, he did not think that and he thought you were rejecting him. Just explain yourself and let him know you like him and like cuddling with him you just weren't in the mood, no fault of his own. He should understand.
2007-02-18 14:15:17 · answer #5 · answered by Stephanie P 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You should have just told him the truth in some form instead of being bitchy. You turned nasty and rude expecting him to know what was up. You have to explain somethings to guys, we are not mind readers.
2007-02-18 14:15:33 · answer #6 · answered by gibs_neil 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
hes one of those guys that doesn't like to be yelled at by his girl friend or something. or he doesn't like being told what he can do and what he cant do. you should tell him why you didn't want him touching you.
take good care.
i think both of you are right in somewhat way. but i guess i would have to pick your side. (hes kind of the wrong one and you're kind of the right one) =D
2007-02-18 14:16:57 · answer #7 · answered by Female 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
not being able to snuggle with you ,you are in the wrong he did nothing wrong but trying to be affectionate to you.you should have just told him that you were feeling irritable but it didn't contain to him,i'm sure he would have understood if you were upfront with him.i'm sure his feelings got hurt,so you somehow need to talk with him or write him a letter if he won't talk to you.
hope all goes well for you both.
2007-02-18 14:17:00 · answer #8 · answered by smiley 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Some guys like to pout, and apparently you are dating one of them. He'll get over it, but it does suck when you are trying to get touchy feely and someone shoots you down.
I would expect him to get over it pretty fast, dont sweat it.
2007-02-18 14:16:36 · answer #9 · answered by Dr. of Situational Psychology 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
you jus have to explain to him that you weren't in the best mood and that ur really sorry, if he doesn't say anything then there's nothin more you can do.
~Sexy Lil Miss
2007-02-18 14:11:30 · answer #10 · answered by Sexi-Lexi 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋