Am i not good enough?

Question

My boyfriend never buys me anything, I'm not the tyoe of girl who wants their boyfriend to buy them everything, but even our first date he didnt pay, and he never has. I always pay for myself and a couple of times ive paid for him too. Well Valentines day he paid, but we didnt even go anywhere nice because he only had 15 dollars, i mean it wouldnt be a problem he he never had any money but earlier that week he bought himself a book and a video game, he knew Valentines day was coming, did he think I wasnt worth it? And the necklace he gave me he says he already had it, he bought it last year and just saved it, so that wasnt even bought for me. He didnt even get me anything for christmas. Does he think im not worth it? I mean he apollgizes, but he never makes up for it, what do I do?

Also he really doesnt have time to work because he goes to college, but his mom gives him money all the time.

Answer 1

get a new boy friend.

Answer 2

Maybe he's not the type of person who sees buying gifts as a way to show how he feels about you. Does he treat u well? Do u have fun together? Maybe u should look in other directions to try to find how he shows how he feels instead of what he bought u. Alot of people don't feel that just because it's valentines day or Christmas that they are required to buy anything for their friends/family. If you hadn't discussed it then there is no way of knowing. I'm sure it's not because he doesn't think that u were worth it or u would have seen him display that attitude in other areas of your relationship. Personally, I'm a person who doesn't feel obligated to buy things for my gf whenever or whatever the occasion is. It's more like I do it if I feel comfortable with it. I would definitly agree that both of u should split paying for dinner or alternate between the two of u if it's a regular thing. But if u always suggest going out and he's just going along with it to make u happy then maybe u should pay more often than he does. Again, u probably should talk about if it's important to u to find the answer. And also, u should be prepared to do all of the things that u expect him to do (pay for this or that, buy gifts for valentines day and Christmas) because alot of people hate to be with girl/guys who expect to be treated a certain way just because they're girl/guys.

Answer 3

As long as you choose to continue to stay with him, then I guess you are only worth whatever he gives you.

You allow this. Understand? You stay. So that means you must feel you deserve him.

Who cares if he thinks you're not worth it?

DO YOU THINK YOU'RE WORTH IT?

You already know the answer to your question. This guy is selfish, he is using you, he knows exactly what he's doing.

Don't worry about stooping to his level. Simply call him and tell him that you have been an idiot long enough and you are no longer dating him because you deserve a much more kind, generous, giving, thoughtful and equal partner.

Then ask him never to call again. Don't accept his phone calls. Don't call him. Move on.

You deserve someone who treats you kindly. Not someone too greedy to share even on Valentines Day.

Answer 4

It's not you. He's just lazy and cheap. If he is unemployed, too young to work or whatnot, I can understand. But, an adult man (and women too) will have to pay for some things when he's in a relationship.

If he truly has no extra spending money, then it's up to you if you want to deal with it. But, if he has enough to buy himself non essential items, then he has enough to at least get you a Christmas and Valentine's gift.

I'm adding to my post since you mentioned his job status.

As he's a college student, I wouldn't expect anything extravagant. But, you do say tht his Mom gives him spending money, and he does seem to have enough if he's buying himself video games.

I could see his not paying for dates, but his Christmas and Valentines wouldn't be acceptable to me. Even a thoughtful five dollar gift, or a nice card with a heartfelt hand written note can say much for few dollars. Giving nothing at all just makes him seem lazy or just clueless.

Answer 5

That's sad. There are better guys out there if your willing to look. If you want to stick it out with this one, then I would suggest bringing up the fact that he never pays, and how it makes you feel. The worst part in my opinion was the necklace not originally being purchased for you. Gifts are supposed to be personal and have emotions and thought attached, I wouldn't have accepted it. At the very least you should vocalise your feelings about that necklace.

It sounds like you have specific problems with the relationship and can cite examples, that's the perfect position to be in when working out problems in a relationship. Just be direct and honest about your feelings, and I hope it works out.

Answer 6

First of all never never put yourself down,you are beautiful and bright and deserve those things in life and to be happy and have fun.He really needs to shape up and save for all the holidays and the dates,if not you need to move on and have some fun with someone that will treat you with the respect you deserve.

Answer 7

As much as I harp about women not being nice in their relationships, you sometimes come accross a real jerk. And I think you have. You ARE in fact worth it, every woman is worth something, jsut this guy is not ready for a girlfriend. He jsut doesn't realize that when you are dating something that they should be cherished and cared for a little more than a friend (but not as much as if you were married!!)

So, my best advice, just tell him that he's immature and that you hope he finds a girl who can whip him into shape, but you aren't that girl. And cut your loses.

Don't worry though! there ARE good men who will treat there woman better than they are worht! good luck

Answer 8

I'm sure you are worth it missy. However you have to check the circumstances. Does your man have a job or is he getting an allowance? If the means are not there to spend on you then try not to get upset. Buy yourself something! You'll feel a whole lot better.

Answer 9

You are very much worth more than what he's giving you. It sounds like he needs a lesson in the romance department, and human relations. Maybe he needs time to mature. If things don't change, maybe you should move on to someone who will not take you for granted. Good luck to you hun, and take care.

Answer 10

I am the same way. I tend to be very independant and not rely on a boy to pay my way. This tends to backfire, even though I thought that it would be a desirable trait. Men want to seem the "man" by paying, or they will become lazy and assume that you are going to pay. I have dated both types. Depending on how the rest of your relationship is, if he won't spend the dough, its time to say adios. Sorry to say :(

Answer 11

Dump him, who needs a guy who doesnt treat you like a princess at least every once in awhile, espicially on Valentines Day, I cant believe that he bought himself a video game, how selfish!!!