Ok... well I applied for a beauty school that I really want to go to, its close to home, but still far enough away. Well ever since my brother went off the the Navy my mom has been really protective over me, so since i got accepted to this school we keep getting into arguements about me moving.. its too far to drive every morning.. she doesn't want me to move.. but she doesnt want me to drive that far.. its 75 minutes away.. and it would be at 6 in the morning and id have to drive back at 7 at night.. and go to work.. Can someone help and give me advice on what I should do or tell her??
2007-02-18 14:07:41 · 12 answers · asked by BeAuTyScHoOlSaVeDmYlIfE 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
By the way.. Im 17 now.. id be going in about 4-5 months.. when im 18
2007-02-18 14:09:13 · update #1
As a mom with a 16 year old who is contemplating going to college on the other side of the country in a few years, I can tell you that your mom is going through hell. This world we live in is far from safe---whether its the threat of terrorists or the driveby shootings or the rapist waiting at every turn. But as pretrified as I am for my baby to be all alone in a big, new city, I can't hold her back from her dreams.
Your mom needs your understanding and sensitivity but you need to be firm and continue with your plans to go to college. You might even have to make it a point to call mom every day while you are away. And come home on every other weekend at least to start with.
Take it from me, it is not easy realizing that your baby is growing up. That she can actually take care of herself without your help. As moms we have protected you for 17-18 years already..its a second nature thing and that doesn't go away over night.
Again, sensitivity and understanding will go a long way in your favor and mom will appreciate it as she sees you blossom from her little girl into a young woman beginning a career and life of her own.
I think, too, that on the oprah.com website there was a discussion on one of the message boards about his subject. You might want to check that out. Or ask Dr. Phil at drphil.com
Good luck
2007-02-18 14:35:36 · answer #1 · answered by j05gemini 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It is great that you are getting a head start on your career. You mother should be very proud of that! Your mother is afraid of being alone and I can understand it especially since your brother is gone now. There are ways of you negotiating with your mother and keep your relationship with her. Ask your mother to travel with you to the beautiful school. She may enjoy herself being with your new friends.
When you move out have mom to stay over your home when she feels alone. When you have some free time on the weekend spend the night at you mother's home. It's apparent she want to continue to draw her affection toward you.
I'm not trying to make you feel guilty nor do I know how you were raise by your mother. You need to keep your relationship open with your mom! Remember the good things she done for you when you needed her! Yes, I know you have the right to break away when you turn 18 years old. I will stop here, because I am sure you do what your heart tells you. Good luck.
God Bless.
2007-02-18 14:28:28 · answer #2 · answered by tony 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well, there are 3 options
1) move out and go to school.
2) live at home and go to school
3) live at home and not go to school to please your mom
I would like to say I would be a strong enough person to do 1, but my parents can get me to do almost anything so I really don't know. What I do know is that your mom is going to give you a "I am so worried about you" speech if you do 2 every day.
What I would most likely do is write a letter to my mom (have a friend or teacher good in English edit it for you) about how this is your dream and how you love her but need to grow up and take care of yourself. My mom always got off my case after a well articulated letter.
2007-02-18 14:22:05 · answer #3 · answered by Lib 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well deary.......that our job as a mother is to try and protect you!!!! Give her some time and let it sink in to her head.........she needs time to get used to all the change, cut her some slack..............also dont present it to her as a MOVE persay.........it would jsut be a place for you to stay during the week and you can be home on the weekends, and you can go form there!!! Is this the only beauty school in your area, because I speak from experience you dont need to go to "La School O Fancy" to be a great hairstylist!!! Also......is this something you REally want to do???? ( I know alot of people eho go/went to beauty school just because.....?) and us mothers can see right thru that!!!! I am a hairstylist and I love my job, it gives me great satisfaction and great flexibility to be there for my family and to make decent money especially working part time, you can earn a full time wage............but be sure this is reallywhat you want to di before you, get bent out shape with you mother, us moms arent as dumb as you think we are!!!
2007-02-18 14:54:13 · answer #4 · answered by hairstyle 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Your Mom is suffering from empty nest syndrome, and unfortunately you are caught in the middle. Myself I would rather see you move than all that time driving, phone calls are always a number away. Try to be sensitive to her remember she already has one child in harms way. Good luck to you both
2007-02-18 15:11:59 · answer #5 · answered by sunshine 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
maybe there is a way to comprimise. Check into carpooling or maybe renting a room for part of the week and driving the other part. either way you have to go you have to think of your own future. Mom will survive and adapt to what ever you decide. It may take some time but she will
2007-02-18 14:21:33 · answer #6 · answered by Special Edition 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think your mom will understand if you chose to move out. I had a hard time with my daughter moving out. I did have my fears but a mother just has to let go. She will be so proud of you once your finished with beauty school. You have to be the strong one even if your mom has the problem with you moving out. Its your life and you will be incharge of you the rest of your life and there is obstacles and barriers such is life. you go girl
2007-02-18 14:52:30 · answer #7 · answered by oceanqueen1 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You do what you want to find a career. Mom is being OVERLY protective of her [little girl]. You will be of age shortly & mom just has to get over it & will be proud of you after you have started beauty school.
2007-02-18 14:18:19 · answer #8 · answered by Jim W 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You're going to be an adult, so you need to make your own decisions. Tell mom that you will be sad to leave home too, but that you need to start life on your own. Also, let her know that you'll be looking forward to being home on weekends and/or having her visiting you.
2007-02-18 14:53:38 · answer #9 · answered by JLB 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Tell your mother very sweetly that she needs to let you go. Now, not that you're out of her life forever but that you need to be able to pursue your dreams with her support. Reassure her that you can still spend time together and try and chat with her as much as possible.
2007-02-18 14:20:53 · answer #10 · answered by Carly K 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋