I have lied and cheated?

Question

Sorry, I have to ask this question again.



If you were in a relationship for almost 4 years, can you be honest about when your were in the relationship, in the first year you cheated or lied? Because you feel guilt.

Or Would you just don't say anything because you have changed and you don't want to lose your love

Answer 1

personally i think its scum for whoever cheats.. no offense you said youve changed. but i think you should tell the person and tell them you love them and feel they should know... let them know you have changed... be as nice as possible and dont do it again... it might be better that living with it in the back of your mind for the rest of your life.. and also all couples can get through things if they try. so just try real hard and show this person you are truely sorry.

Answer 2

I think that if you want the relationship to last you need to be honest about the whole situation. Secrets like that will destroy a relationship. If you want the relationship to continue, you need to go ahead and work this out. If your partner finds out on their own later, the pain is worse, and if they can't move past something that happened four years ago, then you need to consider whether or not they are the right person for you anyway. If your relation ship is strong enough to last four years, you need to trust your partner to be able to forgive. If you reveal the situation, you still must be prepared for a rocky time in your relationship, but if the relationship is worth having, then it is worth putting it to the test and sticking with it through the hard times.

Answer 3

It would never happen.

Why lie? The past is the past, but if you're asked about it in the present, and you really like the person, might as well be upfront.

And, if you really DO beleive that the past is the past, then shouldn't your partner be given the opportunity to make that statement as well?

You're living out of the present moment if this is your situation, because you're worried about both the past and the future. The past worries you because of what you've done, and the future worries you for fear of losing your relationship.

Get into the present moment. Maybe you can focus on your breathing, get into a meditation routine, or something like that.

Answer 4

betrayal happens every day, even people who wouldn't do it and preach against it sometimes do go down that line, some people wont be honest about it and some will. Me personally if it happened to me I would like to know if my partner has hooked up with anyone while we were together. I think if something is meant to work or meant to be things will work out. Some times risks have to be taken but in the end its that persons decision, guilt eats up at people and it doesn't stop it all depends on how long you can hold the guilt in.

Answer 5

If it's bothering you now it probably always will and you should give your spouse the choice to stay with you or leave because of what you did that first year. All you can do is tell the plain truth and then express your regret and apologize. Tell them that you don't want to lose them and that you love them very much but don't be all clingy and give them the guilt trip. If you love something, set it free. If it loves you, it'll return. If it doesn't...it's time to move on.

Answer 6

First pray about the situation and ask for courage. You need to fess up. Tell the person that you're truely sorry, and make no excuses for your wrong. (THAT IS VERY IMPORTANT) It shows the person that you've realized nothing could amount for the pain you are causing them as you admit the truth. It's up to them to forgive you or not. But remember this the bible says that love keeps no record of wrongs. If they refuse to forgive you move on and find a greater love that will love you unconditioanly.

Answer 7

I think not telling them would be trying to take the easy way out. For me I would have to tell them, because if they would change there minds about wanting to be with me based on what happend and say they didnt want to be with me because of it, then the relationship in my eyes would be a lie if i didnt tell. And the person i'm with deserves the chance to have all evidence and events then want to be with me. Its not fair to them. I would tell even if it meant losing that person

Answer 8

I would be honest with your love because it would be better for them to hear it from you instead of the grapevine. If they really love you, then they will know that you have changed. They may walk away but they will walk back into your arms if they really love you. You just need to be honest with them and tell them the truth.

Answer 9

well gurl obviously you didnt love him at first it depends what you call cheatin like what did you do?if it was a minor lie or just a peck kiss that meant nothing and you had no control over and it was 3 years ago leave it alone..but if you feel the need to tell him tell him only you know how he will take it if he loves you like you love him then he will leave it alone or if he dont love you it will be his excuse to leave you!But u have to figure it out~

Answer 10

If you've been together for 3 years since why would you want to hurt the other by confession? Sounds like it would be pretty selfish. Go to confession if you have to get it off your chest. You don't have to be catholic to confess your sins. Just don't tell someone something bad just to make your self feel better at their expense.