Sex issues?

Question

Just a heads up before i get into things, I'm 14, am in 8th grade, and this is my first girlfriend.

Ok, this girl and I have been dating eachother for 3 years (all of our years in middle school from 6-8) and we really love one another. But lately, whenver she comes to my house, or I come to hers, I find that she starts to kiss me for longer than normal, and tries to seduce me. She's done the 3-4 times now, and I know she wants to have sex. It's not like I don't want to have sex, because I do, but I really only want to do what is best for her. I really don't want her to regret this later on...

I don't feel pressured in anyway or anything like that what-so-ever, and I know that I am ready for anything in this relationship, but I do not think that she is completey ready, and I don't want her to end up unhappy...

What's the best way I can tell her that it would be right to wait, without hurting her feelings?

Thanx alot everyone.

Answer 1

Ok first do not listen to people when they say it would be statutory rape that is only if you were 18 or older and she was 14. There are things to think about though. Condoms do break at times so even if you did use a condom there is no saying that she would not get pregnant. Yes, girls can get pregnant the first time that they have sex. If she did get pregnant how would you deal, how would she deal. Parent's don't tend to be understanding when their 14 year old gets pregnant. You could be making the biggest mistake of your life so think about it long and hard before you make a decision.

Answer 2

You are a pretty smart 14 year old!
I would totally wait. Even though you have been together for some time now, doesn't make it right.
You are right, she is probably not old enough to know what she really really wants to do. That's a big decision and it could make things really complicated. (getting pregnant, parents catching you) alot of things can happen that could really mess up the relationship. I wish I would have waited!!!

If you really care for her, wait.

Answer 3

Tell her you respect her and dont want to do anything she might regret later on. You think she is great and want to wait you are ready for a lifelong commitment e.g, engagement. It would be very special then and you would both be able to enjoy the experience. You dont want anything to spoil the time and maybe just maybe the result could be an unwanted pregnancy right now.

Answer 4

Dear Jake,

What an absolutely wonderful young man you are!! There are not very many young men who are willing to put their sex drive second and their girlfriend first. Bless you, and may you stay as wonderfully chivalrous as you are now.

Your young lady needs to be held, kissed tenderly, and told she is such a sweet special person to you that you want to be certain that she is committed and truly ready before you celebrate your love for each other. Her love for you and yours for her need to come to fruition at the exact right moment to show each other that you love, honor and respect one another.

If you move too soon, you have added lust to your relationship, not love. Jake, love truly IS patient and kind and "endures all things." Waiting is never wrong. May you have the strength in your love to make it last a lifetime, and the respect for your chosen partner to keep her pure for your marriage bed.

Good luck to you both.

Answer 5

you guys are only 14. that's insane. even if you love each other, it's still crazy. my rule is at least 18. because i know what happens, happens. and there's going to be a lot of happenings before i get married. you could tell her that you want to wait. that it's too soon for the both of you. that you love her and you don't want either of you to regret it later. it will be so much better if you wait.

Answer 6

Whoa...
Well, for starters, congrats on having a brain. She is lucky to have such a smart, logical boyfriend such as you. *sighs* Why can't there be someone like you at my school? I'm stuck with a bunch of idiots... Anyway, back on topic...
If she keeps pushing for it and you are absolutely positively sure of her intentions, explain to her (rationally) why you don't want to do it. You two have been dating for 3 years, so if she was smart, she'd understand your thinking. Don't do it just because she wants to; you seem like you deserve better than that. If she was stupid (which I really hope she isn't)...well, you know what would happen.
Good luck, sorry I wasn't that helpful.

Answer 7

Explain to her that you both are very young. Explain that even with all the protection in the world, she could still get knocked up and that would be bad for both of you. Make sure you put it into her head that you do love her and you do want her, but you want whats best for both of you. Hope this helps.

Answer 8

I think going together that long at that age is/was destructive. No doubt she is feeling puberty rather strongly. That is nothing to happen and deal with when you are that age. I think you both better slow down, take stock. You may be about to make the first big mistake of your young lives.

Answer 9

so you guys are in middle school......omg...
first of all I think you're mature for going about this the way that you are...I mean knowing that waiting is better....
When she starts to try things with you you need to just tell her"You know I love you but I think we should really think about things before going on about them"...and tell her "I think it would be smarter to wait about these things...I want to but I don't think we should yet"..
Sex may not seem like a big deal but it is.....wait as long as you can...she will thank you later on...

Answer 10

First of all, good for you because most teenage guys would not make those considerations. I would say that you should just talk to her about it. You have been together for 3 years and you must be pretty comfortable and open with each other. She will understand and will be glad that you are this concerned (and not just thinking about yourself). good luck!