We are having a cocktail reception and it is not suitable for children. No one else has minded the no kids rule. (I did all the right things on the invitation and I wasn't rude about it). I don't mind if kids come to the ceremony but there is no designated seating and the venue is not set up for kids. I have provided local babysitters information. Do we stand our ground and face the consequences so that we have the day we've planned or do we let him bring his daughter and cop the flack from the rest of the people with kids. Any ideas would be great.
2007-02-18 13:47:04 · 33 answers · asked by jaster1604 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Weddings
I would say to absolutely stand your ground with the no kids rule, and there are a few reasons/strategies for this.
A) You have politely asked that no children attend, and provided resources to your guests to ensure that they comply (which was very good of you!)
B) If your future brother-in-law was given an exception, your guests with children that had to find a sitter for the event would definitely be very upset.
C) Regardless of who the guest is, this is YOUR day - not his! Do not let one person ruin your flawless day due to selfishness.
Now, that being said, you should have your fiancee approach his brother and explain your reasons behind the no-kids rule, and to gently advise him that although he would like to have his brother attend this happy event, he will be sorry to miss him there if he insists on bringing his daughter.
By the way, I have children - I completely understand your request, and would not be offended if my sister had a similar rule when she finally gets married!
:)
2007-02-18 13:53:49 · answer #1 · answered by Ryann 3 · 6⤊ 2⤋
By standing your ground you mean bouncer at the door??? lol
If all the invites said adult reception and everyone knows that it is an adult reception, there is nothing further to do. If he is brazen enough to call and ask if that includes him, be prepared to say, yes. I would follow it with, if I allow one then I am afraid I will have an entire room full of children...its been so difficult to decide...but the decision is no children. And, if he is brazen enough to show up, leave it be. One of the moms or grandmas or friends will probably escort him or baby or both out...these things have a way of taking care of themselves.
2007-02-18 16:13:31 · answer #2 · answered by Sweetserenity 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Do not back down!!! You have set the guidelines of who's invited and who isn't. Your future BIL needs to respect your decision. If he won't come because his daughter isn't invited, then he's made his decision. Right now your future BIL is being manipulative to get his way. Don't give in.
If you do make an exception and allow his daughter to come you will be offending your other guests who's children weren't invited.
Personally, I can't stand it when parents think that exceptions should be made just because they have a child and are unwilling to leave a child with a sitter. There are some places that children are not welcome or wanted.
2007-02-18 15:22:06 · answer #3 · answered by Just Jess 5 · 2⤊ 0⤋
It doesnt sound to me like you did anything wrong. A cocktail reception is not appropriate for kids and certainly not for toddlers!
I think you have to stand your ground otherwise when he shows up w his toddler all the other parents will get offended. It seems like you have gone out of your way to accomodate the brother and as you said the child is welcome at the wedding so thats no excuse for him to not attend that!
2007-02-18 15:45:13 · answer #4 · answered by jillmarie2000 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I think since it was all done tactfully (and you have no problem w. children at the ceremony) there is no reason why he should be upset for you not waiting kids at a reception. To be honest, as much as adults love babies/children...they don't want them at an adult setting. And they especially don't need to be in a place where the majority of the people are going to be drinking alcohol. I say you stand your ground. He needs to respect that this is you and your (soon to be) husbands day.
2007-02-18 13:54:03 · answer #5 · answered by jay 3 · 6⤊ 1⤋
I think what you are doing is right. He is being extremely selfish and uncaring about anyone but himself. That baby doesn't belong there, and I am sure would not care to be there either. It is just not an appropriate venue. What he is doing is so ridiculously rude. If you stick to your guns, he may just be a jerk about it, and I don't know what the future would hold as far as his relationship with you guys, but you should not be bullied into making this awkward for anyone else especially yourselves. What you are asking is not unreasonable. I am so sorry. Ask your fiance to handle this, but again stick to your original intention...it is not just good for the reception but for the baby as well.
2007-02-18 14:25:25 · answer #6 · answered by kalea_kane 6 · 3⤊ 1⤋
if you dont want kids then you shouldnt have kids. especailly not a child that young that requires constant attention. if he would rather miss his brothers wedding then let his go ahead and do that. if other friends and family are ok with the arrangements then he should be too. hes not the one paying for the wedding or the one getting married.
2007-02-18 15:13:20 · answer #7 · answered by Jenn ♥Cadence Jade's mum♥ 7 · 2⤊ 0⤋
what my cousin did was let the childeren in the ceremony and find a babysitter and rent like a hotel room and then the parents can stay as long as they want then they just grab their kids and leave then every one wins good luck and congrats
2007-02-18 17:17:12 · answer #8 · answered by Country Girl 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
This is your wedding. It is your day. You already decided on the accommodations. It is not the place of one guest to try to make you change your wedding plans. That is about the rudest thing I have ever heard. Wedding plans are set by the host, not the guest. Stand fast. Actually, you should do nothing. You already sent out proper invitations. Just have someone standing by on the big day to turn your bil away at the door.
2007-02-18 13:50:59 · answer #9 · answered by Lisa A 7 · 4⤊ 2⤋
Sounds like he is just a stubborn person. Nothing you can do about it. I'd have to say that in 75% of the weddings I have attending, children were not "allowed", because of many of the reasons you mentioned. Its an adult party most of the time, and kids are just in danger within that type of situation. Tell him to bad, he's gonna miss a great party - wish he could be there.
2007-02-18 13:51:23 · answer #10 · answered by T D 3 · 3⤊ 2⤋