I feel like I am losing control?

Question

I used to have to live on medications to get me through a day, but at that time I was also in a very physically and mentally abusive relationship. I have since left got my self off meds and met the best guy in the world who supports me in my depression battle. However, lately my new doctor gave me some new anti depressants and I told her I knew what worked and asked for scrips to tose drugs, she refused telling me to try hers first. They made my anxiety worse and I felt very tired all the time, and since I have a physical job I weaned my self off them. Now, I am slowing feeling myself get worse every day and my old doc can't see me for 2 weeks, how can I make it through without breaking down?
Also, why would my depression and anxiety be coming back when my life is so perfect? I have a new 3 month old baby, great daughter who helps alot, she is 12, and a wonderful loving husband? My life is completely opposite of what it was 7 years ago with the abuser. Any help would be great.

Answer 1

Well you know that there could be some issues still that you have not hit on that is bothering you with out you even knowing, and being in a abusive relationship, well for 7 years that can really hold on to you, so maybe you are not done working through, that on neither. You should of called the new doctor too and told her how the anit depressives was making you feel , she really needed to hear about it, she might of changed it for you then to what you wanted.
the depression could also be getting worse cause you weaned yourself off of the medication, some of those you really need to come off really slowly, plus she really should not of put you on any if you just had a baby, i don't know if you are nursing or not, but i do not think that when you nurse you should be taking any kind of medication cause the child gets it too. I know some doctors disagree on that, but i still do not trust it. May times three or four years down the road they will find that it could not be used by nursing mothers, but by that time so many had used it.
so i just do not trust drugs, medications while a woman is pg, or nursing.

Answer 2

Depression can be caused by a bad life situation, but it can also be just a physical illness of the brain-something in there ain't right, and then it shows up for no reason at all. Maybe you are in that category. Advice to you telling you to buck up and see how wonderful your life is doesn't help, and it's insulting. You could be going thru post partum depression, too, maybe? I never had kids, so I don't know much about that topic. In the meantime, make sure hubby knows you are struggling, and maybe he can fill in around the house extra until you recover.

So here are my depression tips for when the meds aren't working:

If your depression seems to be more of a problem in the winter, try to get more sun. You could have seasonal affective disorder, or SAD, or your depression could have a seasonal component, meaning you can get depressed other times of the year, but you tend to have more trouble in the winter. A light box is really good if you can afford one (about $300 online, don't get it at a local store, they will charge more for a light less than 1/2 as bright). This is now considered to be a standard depression intervention, lots of scientific evidence for it.


Try meditation tapes like progressive muscle relaxation or guided imagery. They may seem silly at first, but they work!! They will give you a nice break.

Go out with friends, and if you don't have any, find a club to join and MAKE yourself go until you actually look forward to it. Isolation makes depression worse. You may have to ask hubby to do some more babysitting. Or have friends over and just watch movies and eat popcorn, something low key.

Exercise at least 1/2 hour a day, and anytime you feel really hyper or depressed. Exercise is a great mood stabilizer and cuts down on anxiety a lot.

Look up (using google) good "sleep hygeine" tips so you can sleep better. Like go to bed and get up about the same time each day, even weekends. Don't use your bedroom to watch TV and read and use the computer and all that-just use the room as a bedroom normally would be used. Don't do stuff that pumps you up right before bed, like exercising and using the computer. You want to use that last hour to wind down-Take a bath after the kids are sleeping? Make the bedroom really dark, cover up the clock radio, even so the light doesn't shine at you. If you live in the rackety city, use a noise generator (makes wave sounds and the like) to cover up the city sounds. Make sure you get hubby's support on all that. I never had children, as I said before, you may be limited on what you can do with an infant in the house.

Put a lot of colorful things around the house, happy type things, and keep the blinds open and let the sun in. Get yourself some flowers. Put on some pretty clothes. Make a list of things that make you happy. Here's some things on my list: A basket full of fluffy kittens, bread fresh from the oven, Fireworks popping on a warm summer evening, The first fireflies of the season, The crisp sound of a saltine cracker breaking, fresh sheets on the bed, etc. Use all your senses and read that list when you are breaking down.

For anxiety, avoid caffeine like the plague, and turn up the heat in the house. It's hard to be anxious when you're overwarm. Baths work good, too, or even hot water over the hands, in a pinch. In anxiety, the blood vessels constrict, that's what gives you the physical feeling of anxiety, and caffeine does the same. Also, many cold remedies do that. When you are warm, the blood vessels dilate, the opposite, so you calm down.

Good luck!! I have had very severe depression all my life, I know these things can get you through until you get some helpful meds. Hang in there!!

Answer 3

Get a blessing. From your dad if possible, but at least your home teachers. Your dad is no doubt feeling overwhelmed too. At this time in his life he probably needs to be able to do something for you just as much as you need to have something done for you. If due to chemo or maybe he's not a member?? he can't give you a blessing, then go to your home teachers and ask for one. Talk to your professor(s). Set up an appointment to talk to your professor of the class you feel like your not going to pass first. See if it's as bad as you think, and what he/she recommends you do. Is it too late to drop with an X, if it is, will the prof allow you to drop with an X anyway? If it's not too late to bring up the grade realistically, then consider quiting your job. You've got a lot on your plate right now. Talk to you boss, explain what's going on personally. How that due to the hours your working, you're not getting the proper nutrition and that among other things (like finding out your dad has cancer) has caused some undue stress and that you feel your first priority is your own health, then family, then school, and finally your job. Explain that perhaps next semester things will have settled down some and that you can return to work. If your job hates to see you leave, perhaps they would be willing to work with your schedule a little more. My guess is that 15 hours a week isn't providing just a whole lot of income, so it may not be necessary that you have a job this semester. If it is necessary, then ask your boss to allow you to come in a little later and take that time to get a nutritious meal. Eat good nutritious meals when you can, and take nutritious snacks with you. Fruit is always a good snack, and drink plenty of water. If you need some protein, then try a peanut butter sandwich. I've always found that a peanut butter and banana sandwich with a container of milk to be a quick, nutritious meal that fills me up. Find a way to do something that is a stress reliever. Whether that's music (as suggested by someone here), coming here for a little while each day (a personal favorite), journaling, talking on the phone, exercising, the list goes on. A friend of mine can't manage to take a 40 question multiple choice/ true/false test without stoping half way through and talking, or doing something to take her mind off the test. Perhaps that's a strategy for you as well. Studying until your brain hurts is studying hard, not smart. Go to your student services place on campus and ask about studying techniques. Just my suggestions.

Answer 4

You answered your own question. 3month old baby.
Post partum depression can affect the healthiest mothers. Compound this with having depressive problems already. Hormones can do a lot to throw a body's chemistry out of whack. Hormones change your body and therefore change how your body processes the meds your on.

Answer 5

maybe you are angry because the doctor didn't give you what you wanted. Count your blessings, and remember there are people out there who would kill for what you have. Be happy and enjoy life!! Good luck.

Answer 6

I believe why you may not be feeling like yourself yet is the simple fact that deep down inside you have not forgave your abusive friend for abusing you? I encourage you now to pray to Jesus or God and ask him to revile the truth behind why you feel the way you do. Know that in a abusive relationship a controlling person only thinks about himself and will blame you for everything because he is mad at himself usually from a manifested abusive childhood. Pray for him! Abuse can be mental,physical or spiritual. Either one is bad, and that is the difference! After you have prayed and Jesus has reviled to you that this is the problem then I would encourage you next to see a priest or a church marriage counselor with your now husband and address this as a problem. Please know that your past abusive relationship is not your fault! and there is nothing that you did to make him act this way! Usually, it is something that happened in peoples past that makes them act out in certain situations like I state before! Know Jesus said: Love your enemies, do good to those who hate you, bless those who curse you, and pray for those who spitefully use you! (Luke 6:27-28) The only way to start to stop hurting is to forgive the ones that make you feel the pain you feel now! In addition start developing a relationship with God and Jesus.Challenge yourself to match the lies in your mind with truth! Know that no matter how alone and hurt you feel from your past abuse. Know your never alone with a good relationship with God and Jesus. God loves you! The Bible says: "Never will I leave you; never will I forsake you" (Hebrews 13:5)God created you, and God loves you. His only Son, Jesus Christ, loved you so much that he gave His life on the cross so you could be saved and break free from in perfectness, sin,hurt and voices of lies in your head that try to put you down to become a child of God. You may ask where was God when all this bad things happened to you? I tell you that he was there but you have to understand that we are all responsible for the bad choices we make in life. Now know that now, right this minute you can start to turn your life around And give Jesus all your worries and burdens. Now we can never go back and change the mistakes we make in the past but that never will stop us from moving ahead and having a better future! Know Jesus and your God knows a thing or two about abuse! Let me tell you the story! Jesus was flogged or beaten over 40 times, as Jesus stood silent, he was humiliated, degraded, mocked, striped naked, had jammed a crown of thorns on this head and was then nailed to a cross only after he had to walked nearly a mile with a heavy crossbeam to his back! Why? You ask: The Bible answers that? For you have been called for this purpose, since Christ also suffered for you, leaving you an example for you to follow in his steps, Jesus who committed no sin, nor was any deceit found in his mouth; and while being reviled, he did not revile in return; while suffering, He uttered no threats, but kept entrusting himself to him who judges righteously. (1 Peter 2:21-23) Christ hung on the cross for six hours before he died, He was there from nine in the morning until three in the afternoon. In spite of such enormous discomfort and indescribable pain, Jesus ONLY spoke words of genuine forgiveness to those who affiliated so much pain and anger to him! From the cross Jesus Spoke: "Father, forgive them; for they do not know what they are doing." What? I know if that where me I would be very angry and not be forgiving men for doing all that to me! and it's maybe what you felt when you where abused by your friend But, the fact is the Jesus was God in Human form so Jesus was and is perfect, he died for are imperfectness, sin, abuse and are anger! I don't know about you but that really inspires me to be the best I can because the fact is I can NEVER pay the full price for what God has already payed in full for Me! That is why I know when I get nervous and sad about life, I give it to Jesus! When you accept Jesus Christ into your life, something wonderful and supernatural happens. God Himself comes to dwell within you! You become part of His family, and you can know the joy of His presence every day. Pray right now and I encourage you to invite Jesus into your heart, ask him to bring back the joy back into your life! I to will be praying for you because I was too once where you are now and the only way am still alive is because my faith in Jesus saved me and he showed me the better life I could be living if only I put my faith and trust in Him. I encourage you to read a bible to start your relationship with Jesus, start with the gospel of John! There you will find a story of a man named John the Baptist that paved the way for another man named Jesus that loves you and will bring you guidance and hope to your life, if you look to him and follow him for your life's answers! I would encourage to get help from the hurt of your past! Besides forgiving your past abuse, know that mental abuse don't go away that fast, so you need friends and support! A lot of Church's have small groups and support groups for people that have been in abusive relationships. So, I would encourage you to do that because it wasn't till I change the atmosphere in my life and started putting Jesus first before myself that my life started to get better! I had a whole new image of myself and I started to see how much I was really loved and valued in God's eyes. You are so loved sweetheart! You have so much to offer! So, Go ahead right now, this minute, pray to Jesus! ask him to lead your heart so you may trust him that everything will be all right and the next step you take will be right in line with what he wants for you in life, and what life is suppose to be like in serving him! Tell him you don't want to be hurt anymore from your past! May Jesus bring some new friends into your life that will help you find forgiveness from your abusive relationship and teach you truth! In Jesus Name. Amen