Should I continue to pursue or cut her loose.?

Question

She is 2 months out of a 6 year relationship where her bf cheated on her for 5 years. We've been out a few times over the last couple of weeks, talk every couple days and as time has gone on she has given me alternative ways to contact her to go with her cell number. We saw each other this weekend and now my confusion is. She always returns my calls/emails but never initiates the email/call. This weekend when we were out she told me that she was going through her "selfish phase" and didn't want to lead me on. Great, I can understand/deal with that, then in the same breath asks me what I'm looking for in dating. I tell her and she askes "so you want someone in your life, but don't need someone"...correct. Then she starts kissing me, takes pictures of us cuddled up, lets me know she has memorized my number, wants me to meet her family, more kissing and tells me she wants to see me again. Is this her being selfish or just cautious from being hurt and is interested?

Also during that night she quizzed me about if I was a cheater, was I seeing anyone else right now, then grabbed my phone and said "lets see who else has been calling you". She has told me that her ex-bf was jealous when he found out that we have spent time together...he is making a HUGE play to win her back. When asked if she wants to get back together with him she tells me "no". She says she wants to take things slow with no timelines. I asked her is she was spending time with anyone else...not that I'm jealous but because it would allow me the opportunity to make an educated decision if I wanted to keep pursuing her or move on...her response "You are a silly man". I also asked if she thought I was pushing to hard by asking her out so soon after her last relationship and knowing that he ex-bf was making this HUGE play to get her back again, her response is again..."you are a silly man".

Answer 1

Be very careful in this situation. She is very, very confused. If you are a person that can control your feelings then continue hanging out with her and having fun with her.

If you fall in love easily you need to back away- she has no idea what she wants and she could easily break your heart.

Even if you point blank asked her- she is so confused right now that she could give one answer today and another tomorrow.

Always remember- you can't put a condom on your feelings. If you fall for her you are taking a huge risk and will most likely end up hurt.

If you don't fall in love easily then take it for what its worth- a fun friendship that may or may not turn into anything.

Answer 2

I'd say you should give her a little space. 2 months out of a relationship that lasted that long makes you the rebound guy. That can be an ok thing, but I'd back off a bit and see what heppens. I'd tell her you like her (if you do) and that you want to give her some space to figure some things out. Tell her to call you when she does. Be nice about it, not mean.

Answer 3

She likes you and she doesnt like you chief. She does that romantic stuff because shes attracted to you and possibly will give you the Boo-Tay. She likes being independent now because the last guy didnt put her #1. If i were you, i wouldnt do that either, not right now. FInd like 2 0r 3 other women to dissipate your energies and play it by ear until you get a more receptive sign of interest from her.
I know its tough chief, I m going through the same thing. Some days she so affectionate but other days she can be so cold. Who knows? I gotta follow my own advice and see whats going to happen...


To me this sounds like a FWB type of thing shes looking for. Play it at your own risk. I d say find yourself another chick to put some of your attention to while this thing simmers. At least it will stop you from being overzealous or too forward.

Answer 4

She's still reeling from a failed relationship of 5 years. Her ex cheated on her so you can't blame her for having some trust issues. It sounds like she is interested but not wanting to jump into another heavy relationship. Pursue her, but don't be too aggressive, let her take the lead on where the relationship goes.

Answer 5

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Answer 6

Sounds like she has her gaurd up but that she must think you are a great guy cause seh seems to be letting it down every ones in a while. Give her time and be patient cause she sounds like a great girl too.

Answer 7

I think that she's confused and doesn't know what she wants. But, she does seem to like the attention from you. If you are still interested, I'd keep communication lines open, but I wouldn't dismiss other offers if you had them.

Answer 8

she is just being cautious, wanting to make sure she doesn't get hurt again. she may not be initiating the calls because she wants to see if your serious about her. she doesn't want to get her hopes up only to have them smashed again. she wants to make sure of u, and your intentions before she commits to u. she wants to make sure investing love with u will be a gain of something meaningful so she is taking her time not jumping into it.

Answer 9

she sounds interested to me, but since she just got out of a crappy relationship i'd give her time to heal .. you don't want to be her rebound guy. maybe a month break and then see where things are between yall?

Answer 10

wow to me thiis giirl sounds confused... you never really can know where she iis tryiing to go cause she iis female... haha but honestly you should keep your guard up cause she could you as her rebound or her backup to keep her miind off thiis other dude cause trust me she thiinks about hiim more then you thiink!!! oor iit could be cause she iis cautiious about beiing hurt but thats to be expected from any female who has been threw somethiing that terrible.. just keep your guard up because ii dont thiink she really knows what she wants..