The only problem is I am not that attracted to him. He is alittle over weight and I am trying to get past it becasue I was once overweight myself, but I don't think I can. What should I do? We have fun together and laugh and joke and get along good and I am worried if I break it off I'll regret it. Any ideas on how to feel more attracted to him? Or any ideas on what I should do at all? Thanks for help serious answer only please and yes I am an adult not and kid on here asking adult questions. Thanks again!!!!!!!
2007-02-18 12:42:08 · 21 answers · asked by buster 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
I have never had such great answers on here thanks so much everyone for helping me!!!!!!!!! I am trying hard to look past it cause I do know he has feelings for me and I am happy when its just me and him, but sometimes I look at him and feel nothing I dont know What I am doing HAHAHA!!!
2007-02-18 12:53:36 · update #1
Do you think you would be attractive to him if he were in better shape? Because if that is the only thing keeping you from being head over heels - start doing pretty active things together, talk about wanting to feel healthier and eating better - tell him its going to be great for your sexlife, and I'm willing to bet he's jumping all over it.
If its not just the weight - then you really need to decide what your priorities are. I know I have had some pretty great days and nights with someone I'm attracted to - but if that's it, its over before I blink. So, that's not at the top of my list anymore.
2007-02-18 12:46:48 · answer #1 · answered by T D 3 · 2⤊ 0⤋
be honest with him do not lead him on, if you are not interested you can be friends but if you mislead him you could lose that friendship, I was in your situation before I wish now I would have ignored the fact that my guy was heavy, if his weight is your ONLY concern please dont leave him over that. I ended up marrying someone else and I actually was fortunate enough to have ny HEAVY friend still be a friend.to make a long story short my marriage failed, and "HEAVY" could only remain a friend it wasnt until after my failed marriage that I realized how fortunate I was to have someone like HEAVY for a friend, IBy the time I realized I wanted a relationship with him, it was to late he didnt feel the same and then it was I that refused to be his friend, I WAS VERY SELFISH AND FOOLISH I was rude to him, and I am now full of regrets as he passed away without my ever getting a chance to apologize, to him. The last time I saw him He was in a graveyard and was being laid to rest at the young age of 46. GO WITH YOUR HEART DONT GO BY A PHYSICAL APPEARANCE........
2007-02-18 21:03:27 · answer #2 · answered by dog hunter 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Been there and tried that - doesn't work. I was accused for a while of not liking "nice guys." That really wasn't it, but to appease my critics I would give a guy extra time (after it was apparent to me I just wasn't that into him) and tried to "force" myself to see him in romantic way. It just doesn't work. This is not to say there have not been wonderful relationships which grow from mere friendships over time. But, you can not manufacture that spark, the physical attraction or chemistry. I really did like "nice guys." What I determined was that the ones I wasn't interested in - happened to be extremely boring as well as nice.
So, if it is merely the weight, then look at your shallow list of priorities. But, if it is just that you do not have an attraction to this guy, it will not magically appear one night (Unless, of course there's a great deal of alcohol involved)
2007-02-18 20:52:05 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sounds to me that you Love all his qualities but not his body style.. Being a little overweight has nothing to do with a long term relationship.. Hey, he may loose some weight, then what, are you going to break up with him because he looks good? but then again he may be SECURE in the way he looks.
I think you should stop worrying about what he looks like and follow how you feel about him.
There is no way to make yourself "FEEL" more attracted to him, Attraction grows and becomes love.
2007-02-18 20:49:55 · answer #4 · answered by kevferg64 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Instead of saying something to him, why not offer to go on jogs with him in the morning. That way you can spend time with him without him really thinking you just want him to lose weight. Then you'll both get in shape, and you wont feel so bad about it. Plus if he jogs alot, he should look great. Talk about attraction!!
Good Luck!
2007-02-18 20:46:52 · answer #5 · answered by Kaylie Reanne - Born 08-06-09 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
If you really cant get past this superficial appearence thing, then you could try getting him to go joggin with you or to the gym, try doing that when your together, maybe tell him its for his own good or something like that, but dont be too harsh about it, he could take it the wrong way.
2007-02-18 20:50:11 · answer #6 · answered by Eddie A 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You can't force attraction...if it's not there, it's not there...it may not just be his weight...you may not feel any "spark" toward him even if he were not overweight.
If you enjoy his company, no reason you can't keep seeing him but let him know you aren't feeling the romance if he appears to be moving in that direction...it's not impossible that feelings for him will develop in time (it's happened to me once with a guy I initially didn't feel any chemistry toward).
2007-02-18 20:47:06 · answer #7 · answered by . 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
all those great qualities you just listed should attract you to him alone,,when it comes down to it,good looks is not whats going to make you happy in life but those other things will,,i am an overweight man ,,and i sometimes wonder ,and have asked my wife how she could be attracted to me,,she tells me being a good husband,,,father,,,and care taker,,,and just having fun with me attracts her to me,,i think you would regret it later on in life if you broke it off,,
2007-02-18 20:49:32 · answer #8 · answered by Angel D 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You know, he may be trying to loose that weight, and if you think it would be the thing to do, try asking him to work out with you or go for walks... give him a chance. Good guys are hard to find.
2007-02-18 20:50:42 · answer #9 · answered by sushihen2 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
well if your not attracted to him in the first palce then just be friends, or as the more you get to know him and you like who he is, eventually you'll start forgething about looks if he is a awsome person and makes you feel good then dont break uo just wait to see what happens
2007-02-18 20:48:26 · answer #10 · answered by dimps 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋