My boyfriend and I have been together for two years, he is a wonderful loving man, who has been married once before. we are both professional people with great jobs. We are in our late 40's so I think his thinking is a little weird, but he thinks that he cannot afford an engagement ring and thinks we are too old to bother with it - I think it would be nice to have a ring - it does not have to be expensive or big or anything - it is just that I never had an engagement ring from someone I love and just feel it is kinda important....maybe I am just too materialistic?
2007-02-18 12:34:27 · 26 answers · asked by skyziks2007 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Weddings
You are not being too materialistic. It's a normal want to have an engagement ring. You are never too old to get an engagement ring. It symbolizes love and committment. It sounds like he isn't too old for a ring, just too cheap.
2007-02-18 12:38:43 · answer #1 · answered by prettyblueeyes101010 4 · 1⤊ 1⤋
Personally, I'm all about keeping the ring that was given for your engagement. It's the sentiment, and the sweetness that's what makes it hard to go to the bigger, better, prettier ring. I can also understand his wanting to get you something different. The way I see it is that first ring was the best he could do for you, and looking at that ring will always remind you that although it's less than he could do for you now, it was his best then, and you can really see how far you've come. If it means that much to him there's no reason why he can't get you another ring, just not an engagement ring. What about a right hand ring, that might be a good compromise so you can keep what feel special to you, but he can give you what makes him feel good.
2016-05-24 04:22:07 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you never receive an engagement ring that doesn't mean that he doesn't love you. Love comes from the heart. The whole engagement ring thing is something that society has built up not to mention the jewlery stores are making a fortune off love! A ring is not necessary and if the two of you are short on money then there's no sense in making yourselves go into deeper debt for a fashion statement. Now, a wedding band is necessary. It does symbolize eternal life together and love. You could jazz up your wedding band with some shiney diamonds if you can afford to but don't let society ruin the engagement period for you just because you don't have a ring.
2007-02-18 12:49:53 · answer #3 · answered by marisol_08051 2 · 3⤊ 0⤋
My fiance and I are both in our forties, and together for two years. It's a long story, but what we did was to get an engagement ring made of silver (not too expensive) and cubic zirconia (really inexpensive), just so that we could have an engagement ring. If you feel having a ring is important, and you do not care for something expensive, then you might want to do what we did. No one has to know what it's made of (my friends gasped when they saw how big "The Rock" is), and besides, always remember that it's the relationship that really matters. What's an expensive ring for if your relationship is so-so? It's just a symbol, it's not the love.
P.S.: I didn't even want a ring, he was the one who insisted we get one.
2007-02-18 21:38:40 · answer #4 · answered by Lady_Lawyer 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
That's not being materialistic, and there's no such thing as "too old" for an engagement ring. Obviously it's important to you, so you should certainly have one. It doesn't have to be expensive. In fact, my engagement ring came from a pawn shop 20 years ago. It was appraised at triple what he paid for it. I never would have been able to get as nice a ring in a regular jewelry store.
There are inexpensive rings, there are rings that have stones other than diamonds (if you like them), there are payment plans, etc. In other words, there are many, many options that don't have to put him into the poor house.
2007-02-22 05:18:53 · answer #5 · answered by Daisy 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
B.S.
The engagement is part of the wedding.
You will have the ring for the rest of your life.
So what if he's been married before, you haven't. It's part of the courtship.
Would you have steak without the potatoes, would you put new tires on a car and not change the valves or get them balanced?
Celebrate the wedding and have a proper engagement. It doesn't have to be a 1 carat diamond platinum ring...
The fact that it is important to you should be enough for him to do it.
Your marriage hopefully will last a lifetime so the cost of the ring is immaterial. It's the price of one coffee a day when you look at it. Are you telling me he doesn't think your worth $1.25 a day.
2007-02-18 13:56:45 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Well regardless, it's neat to have a ring. It is somewhat materialistic no matter how you look at it. But you definitely aren't the ONLY person in the world that wants one when you get engaged. People kind of expect it as the person who is getting engaged and when you tell someone that you're engaged they look for the ring on the finger. I agree- It doesn't have to be expensive but it's nice to have one. :) Good luck and congrats!
2007-02-18 13:03:23 · answer #7 · answered by Dani Bo 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I don't think you are being materialistic at all. I think that he should get you an engagement ring if he wants you to marry him. Please explain to him how important it is to you. This is a time for you to be assertive about what you want. If he still resists buying a ring, you will know something about him, namely that he doesn't care what's important to you.
You can get very nice engagement rings on Ebay. People sell them there if they have broken an engagement or have invested in a more lavish one after being married for a while. We bought a beautiful one for my son to give his girlfriend. It has a one-quarter carat diamond, and we paid $125.00. Just be sure that the Ebay seller has a lot of positive feedback.
2007-02-18 12:47:52 · answer #8 · answered by Tricia R 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I agree with you. It's the symbolism of it which is important, and you need to explain that to him. Explain that you truly don't want or need an expensive ring, just something from him to "seal the deal" - after all, you are not officially engaged until you have a ring and a date. There are totally lovely rings with genuine stones for around 100, and less for silver or CZ.
2007-02-18 22:04:32 · answer #9 · answered by Lydia 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Rings don't have to be that expensive. My ring is much more than I ever had in mind & it was just over $500. I don't think you're being materialistic, the ring has symbolism to it. I think you should explain to him like you've explained it here, a small ring shouldn't be a huge issue.
2007-02-18 12:39:20 · answer #10 · answered by layla983 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋