Friend in serious trouble with depression?

Question

A friend that I love very much has been having problems with depression for a while now, and I'm afraid that he's almost at his breaking point.

He has expressed the desire to go into therapy multiple times, but unfortunately has no resources to make it happen. His parents are, by no exaggeration, very selfish and would not be willing to pay for it. Him getting a job is also most likely out of the question. He is already under tremendous stress just trying to keep up with schoolwork.

I've had some experience in the past with depression myself, and his doesn't seem to be improving on its own. I've tried everything I can think of to help him, but nothing makes him feel any better. Ultimately, I think he won't get any better without proffessional help.

If anyone has any ideas on how to get him help, you have no idea how much I would appreciate it. I want to help him before he tries something that cannot be undone.

Thanks,
Haruka

Answer 1

Do not leave this alone. This is a serious matter, and could be as serious as life or death.

Go to a local health center and ask if they offer any programs or classes that your friend could attend. Most schools also have counselors, etc. that your friend can talk to. If you absolutely cannot find a program that is free, offer to help pay a little...if it is worth his life, it is important that you consider ALL of your options and do anything possible to save him from himself.

Make sure that if your friend is telling you about something important in his life, you listen and are ready to help. He clearly needs somebody to talk to and at the moment it seems like you are the only one he has.

You noted that your friend has expressed the desire to go into therapy. This clearly means that he is seeking somebody to talk to. Please do whatever possible to get him the help and attention he needs.

Please let somebody know about his depression. If you don't tell somebody and he does something that cannot be undone, chances are you will feel regretful and upset because you never told somebody who could have helped and reversed this situation.

Good luck; I wish the best to you and your friend.

Answer 2

Stacy's answer is exactly right if you are in high school. You should do exactly as she says if you are in high school. ***

If you are in college, your friend (or you) needs to find out what on-campus resources are available. I think it is standard to have campus counseling available. I got help on campus back even in 1983, I was able to see a psychiatrist for free. I got counseling after that, on more than one campus.

I, personally, would recommend that he back off on his school work a little bit if he is really hitting the books hard all the time. Nobody is going to care if he got an A in chemistry class in 5 years. Now, if he's struggling just to pass, that's another matter. But it seems to me that perfectionist types get stressed a lot, so I thought I would throw that out there just in case.

In the meantime, here are some depression tips:

Exercise 1/2 hour a day, and anytime the depression is overwhelming you.

Get as much sunlight as possible. Hang out in sunny places in the house/school. Put a lot of happy yellow things around (OK< that helps me!)

Go to bed and get up at the same time each day. Make sure the bedroom is TOTALLY dark, even cover up the clock.

Hang out with friends as much as possible. Social isolation is the worst thing for depression.

Take a 15-20 minute break every 45 minutes of studying and do something fun like play a video game, call a friend, read a joke book, play the guitar, whatever.

Avoid procrastinating on the schoolwork-it's no good to be overwhelmed at the last minute.

DO NOT listen to depressing music!! When depressed, a person will want to do that, so do the opposite and put on sappy, happy stuff.

I'm 42, and have dealt with severe depression all my life because the meds don't help me very much, and these things I suggest really have worked for me.

Best of luck to your friend, and I hope you will follow Stacy's advice if you are in high school. This is a big problem if your friend is as depressed as you think.

Answer 3

Hello Haruka. I think it is so important for him to go to a psychiatrist. He can diagnose and prescribe meds that would help him a lot. I think the work has to be done with his parents. You or him has to talk to his parents to show the importance of the problem. Maybe you (as having gone through depression) can talk to them about the consequences of not being treated on time. So the parents will give money for him to seek for profesional help. Meanwhile try to listen to what your friend has to say. For him to feel that he has suppport. [e-mail]

Answer 4

a lot of schools offer free therapy sessions, that's what i do because i can't afford it. he should also see his doctor to be put on medication; with my health insurance it only costs 10 bucks a month so i think he'll be able to afford it if he has insurance. have you tried asking him exactly what is wrong? does he seem to be depressed for no reason or is there something really bothering him. just listen to him, and let him know that you're there for him. and if he's feeling suicidal, baker act him. oh ya that's a good way to get help actually. i was baker acted and put in a mental institution for a couple days, and when that happens you don't have to pay for it (it didn't really help me but maybe it'll help him) good luck!

Answer 5

You've gotten some good advice. Most local health departments have the facilities to treat depression as do most public school systems. If he is in college, the campus health clinic is a resource.
He will get better eventually, most depressive episodes last for ~1 year, however, if you don't get treatment, the episodes are likely to recur throughout your life.
If he and/or his family are adamantly opposed to treatment, there are homeopathic remedies available too. Check out:
http://depression.about.com/od/altmed/Natural_Depression_Treatments.htm

Answer 6

Tell someone. Get him somewhere. Make sure SOMEBODY knows. When I was in 9th grade, I had a best friend who was deeply depressed, and expressing suicidal feelings. I saw her the day before we left for Christmas Break. During Christmas Break I thought of all the things I'd tell her about. I got back, and she wasn't there. For two months, I watched for her. No one knew where she'd gone, and no wanted to tell me where they thought she'd gone. Every day I had an empty desk glaring at me.

On day, on February, Friday the 13th, 2003, she was in her desk. I approached her, and I asked "Where were you?!" She looked me in the eye and said "I was in the Psych Ward. I attempted suicide."

Tell someone. Make sure somebody who will do something knows. He does need professional help. Thankfully my friend didn't die, but the initial attempt could have been stopped if I had talked to her parents about it. Or at least another adult who would do something about it.

Answer 7

First of all I want to tell you that you are truly a great and caring friend and you should be very proud of yourself!!
Second of all Please, Please, Please go talk to your school counselor about everything you have just said here. They are there to help and they are experienced in matters like this.
You are so wonderful to want to help him yourself but you are going to need help if he is this bad off.
Your counselor will know what to do and how to get him help. If it is found that his parents aren't willing to help him, they will be made to help him. It's their job to help their child when he needs it.
Tell your Friend that there are a lot of people who care about him (now even people he doesn't even know because of you :)
and that he needs to hang in in there. With help from your counselor he will get better. Things will not always look this bad.
Good luck and God bless you both!!

Answer 8

He should check with the local health department. They may be able to refer him to someone. He needs to get help for his depression immediately. Depression is a serious illness, and if not treated, could lead to suicide.

Answer 9

Ive had that for awile, my reason was becaus I felt like there was no perpose for me in life, like I had no reason to live. I had to get a girlfriend who loved me enough to spend time with me to pull me out of that.

You have to show them your there for them, tell them you care and make them promise they will always be there and stay safe at least for you, Spend time with them and get them interestead in doing something with their life like working on a project.

Answer 10

Here http://wiz.sc/0UW2Ap is a good article i found about depression with treatments etc, should help you.