I feel ashamed, hurt, and despondent?

Question

Maybe i am imagining this but I think some of the people in school think I am\was depressed and they talk to me weird. I am not and I wasn't depressed just that I had a panic attack once in class one year ago and I cried and some saw it.

I am a loner, but by choice though. I enjoy being alone than being with a clique liek I was when I started schoo. But I think people think that I am just pathetic and cannot fit in. Some of the things they say seem to imply I am a loner and that is pitiful.

I joined some clubs one with a political cause one religious and I think coursemates think that I joined only because I am desperate to know friends. But that was not my purpose in joining


I am a medical student in the UK meaning undergraduate level. So everyone knows each other the class is really small.

I stopped caring what others think for a long while till yesterday. I could not sleep last night. I can't bring myself to sit alone in full view of everyone in lectures anymore.

Answer 1

Even though you have convinced yourself that you're not depressed I think that you are. You say that in the beginning of the year you would hang out with friends, but you have lost the interest in it. This is a sign of depression. Please don't lie to yourself anymore.

Last year I was in the same situation. For some reason I was ashamed to be around family and friends because I was convinced that they treated me differently because they thought I was depressed. Finally I realized that I was depressed and with help I came out of it. Once I cam out of my depression people stopped treating me differently, and nobody even remembers the depressed version of me.

You made a good first impression on these people before, and that is stuck in their minds. They are treating you differently because your current behavior is different from the initial impression you made on them before.

And just a side note, depression is nothing to be ashamed of. I think the reason why I convinced myself that I wasn't depressed was because I had a belief that depression was weakness and I was above that sort of thing. That was a lie, there is no person on earth who is immune from depression.

Answer 2

Your question shows a lot of conflict and some inconsistency, too. For example, you say that you are a loner by choice, but then you complain that people seem to think you're a loner. If YOU think you're a loner (and are fine with that), then why complain that others think the same thing?

You say that you stopped caring what others think -- but that doesn't seem to be the case, even before yesterday. It seems that you're very focused on what your classmates think of you. In fact, it sounds as if you care more about that than about your studies, your extracurriculars, or your own enjoyment and preferences.

You need to decide what's important to YOU: is it important to be a loner or not? Are those clubs of interest to you or not? Are your lectures important to you or not?

Stop looking at yourself through the mirror in others' eyes. In the first place, what you see may not even be what's in their minds, but only in your own.

And if some of what you think you see is actually what they do think, how much of that have you encouraged? Some people manage to sustain a negative image because it's better than no image at all. It's scary to let go and just be normal, average, not particularly noteworthy.

Another clue: you seem to think that everyone is focused on you. Highly unlikely, unless you're really working at keeping the focus there. Your classmates have better things to do than spend all their time thinking about you and what's wrong with you.

If you ARE depressed, see a doctor and do something about it (sounds as if you may be). Otherwise, let go of your self-involvement and start thinking of other things -- your classes, the clubs you're in, the needs of other people around you. You'll be a happier -- and more attractive -- person if you do.

Answer 3

i know this will sound stupid, but sometimes getting a pet can really change your outlook. When you have someone to come home to... to greet you at the door it makes being alone a little nicer. I'm a well adjusted loner myself and just kind of happened to end up with a cat about seven years ago. It's a nice feeling to be responsible and take care of something, and also enjoy the company of another creature around that isnt as demanding on my time as my human friends.

Answer 4

It looks as though we've a pair of over achieving instructors pets in right here. And why does the "get 10 factors " ingredient sound so very nicely-known? hmmmm. unusual. besides a super sort of those words aare made up and prolonged emotions for human beings with severe psychological matters. i think of for the main section that is summed up in 10. a million. satisfied 2. unhappy 3. advantageous 4. afraid 5. mad 6. guilt 7. shame 8. euphoric 9.excited 10.sexy That final you are able to incredibly with a bit of luck get me flagged and seen as an inet prediter on the prowl. all people is grabbing there babies to guard them as they study this incredibly illicit content fabric.

Answer 5

You need to relax and stop thinking like that. You are starting to get paranoid by reading things that might not even there.
Just be yourself and enjoy your courses and don't mind what people think, they will think whatever they want and you cannot change it. Don't waste your energy on those things, however because you couldn't sleep last night, I think you need to see a doctor and talk freely about this before another panic or anxiety attack hits you.
Good Luck to you,

Answer 6

You shouldnt get it get you down the people that say stuff and spread rumours are just pathertic losers theres no need to worry what they say. I had a breakdown in class last year and started crying, but i got over it. It doesnt matter what other people think. You should be proud of who you are!! Dont let the rumours get you down!!

Answer 7

Get over it before it feeds on itself. Do something good or helpful to others--not particularly at school --it will feel good and take your thoughts off yourself. If you're going to be a physician, you gotta pull outa this dive.

Answer 8

ppl will act the way u do. if u act like its weird to be weird they will too if you act like u are cool with who you are they will to. also they will come to respect it

just b ur self & hold ur head high

harmony

Answer 9

yep