Enter young mothers.?

Question

When I mean young mothers I mean I am 20 with two kids... 19mth and 3mth.
Do any of you have any regrets with the social life you never had?
I got pregnant in high school and graduated at 9mths preg.
All the friends I had ether left to other states or stopped talking to me. I always think that if I did things differently would I be happy? Happier? Unhappy???
I love my kids, I am happy, but sometimes I wonder what it would have been like if I didn't have kids. I never lived an adult life without kids. I just want to know what people think of this??

Answer 1

I am not a very young mother, but my own mom was/is one. She had me at 19, and then had 3 more children before she was 25. EVERY young mother (heck, every mother!) thinks about what MIGHT have been different. But think about this - if you did not have your kids when you did, would you have had them at all? Most young mothers would (as I'm sure you would) immediately say they'd change nothing. I doubt you'd have been happier without your kids....imagine all the lives they've touched...could you take that away from them?

Feel comfort in the fact that EVERYONE wonders from time to time what might have been if they'd just made a different decision at certain times in their lives. Even men do. My husband wishes we weren't still paying on his year of private college, but then I remind him that he met the friends that introduced us through that college, and imagine if we'd never met - we'd not have had our daughter! Never wish for what COULD have been - you'll never know what your actions might change. Even the seemingly bad things (such as the Holocaust) have had a positive impact on humanity - the idea that NEVER AGAIN will the majority of us let that happen to a people. What state of affairs might the world be in if the Holocaust, repulsive as it was, had never happened; had we never learned just how badly people can treat their fellow humans?

If it seems so much bigger than you can imagine, it IS....it's bigger than we ALL can imagine...the fact that one little act can have such a big impact somewhere else. I, myself, am considered a young mother among my group of friends (I was 23 when my daughter was born, she's 2 now, and most of my friends - even the ones in their 30s don't have kids yet), and I would not change ANYTHING about the past. But that doesn't mean that I've never thought about it. Becoming a mother has changed my perspective, though.

Answer 2

i think life is what you make it. i had my daughter when i was barely 18 and eneded up on my own, raising a new born. i had no family where i was so i moved to be closer to my mother who fortunately understood how unhappy i was that i had not lived my teen years. my mum was very supportive and babysat every weekend and sometimes during the week so i could go and have a life. maybe you could try and do the same, maybe a babysitter. mum saved my life by doing this. i am now 27 and having my third in july but if i didnt get that 12 months of going out and finding myself im not sure of where i would be today or even if i would have had more kids. i do know i would have been very unhappy on missing out on the life my friends experienced, ie: clubs, dinners,parties etc. i love my kids more than anything else but you need some freedom from them at a young age to experience things you missed out on. it doesnt mean stop being a parent, it just means plan outing without the kids and make the most of it while you can cause when they hit school years there is no time for freedom. good luck and i hope you find the happiness of your lost teen years.

Answer 3

I too had my kids at a very young age,17,18, and 19. Yep 3 before I was even 20. My hubby and I were high school sweethearts and got married when we were only 20 so I know how ya feel. I looked back on my life for many years but then I realized how young I would be when my kids were grown..36 to be exact!! I look forward to that and I really wouldnt change anything about my life. I just turned 29 and have 3 beautiful kids + a wonderful loving husband and every year things get better and better. Life is what you make it no matter what challenges comes your way!!!!

Answer 4

Don't look back! You are where you are and must continue to look forward to the future! Life just keeps moving faster and faster- before you know it your kids will be grown, and you will still be young to enjoy life. Build a good life with your family now, and you will reap the rewards. Make new friends, and take up an interest or two. You do not have to stop growing because you have children!

Answer 5

I AM NOT AS YOUNG AS YOU ANYMORE I AM 32 BUT MY FIRST DAUGHTER WAS BORN WHEN I WAS 18 I NOW HAVE 4 GIRLS SO I CAN UNDERSTAND A LITTLE WHAT YOU ARE GOING THROUGH I FELT THE SAME WAY AND STILL DO AT TIMES THE KEY IS TRYING TO DO THINGS STILL AS AN ADULT DONT THINK JUST BECAUSE YOU HAVE KIDS YOU HAVE GOT TO BE STUCK TO DOING THINGS THAT ONLY YOU CAN DO WITH THEM YOU CAN STILL GO OUT YOU CAN STILL HAVE FUN JUST GET A RESPONSIBLE BABYSITTER OR IF A PARENT WILL WATCH THEM AND GO OUT AT LEAST ONCE A MONTH AND PARTY YOUR *** OFF BEING A MOM AT ANY AGE IS TOUGH BUT ECSPECIALLY AT SUCH A YOUNG AGE TRUST ME IF YOU CAN DO THIS YOU WONT FEEL AS IF YOU ARE MISSING OUT ON ANYTHING NOW OR LATER IN LIFE ALTHOUGH WE KNOW OUR LIFE REVOLVES AROUND OUR KIDS AND WE LOVE THEM WE STILL NEED THAT TIME AWAY TO MAKE THE TIMES WITH THEM RELAXED AND ENJOYABLE DONT FEEL BAD FOR HAVING THESE FEELINGS IT IS NORMAL AND I AM SURE MOST YOUNG MOTHERS DO GOOD LUCK AND I HOPE I HELPED

Answer 6

I had my first child at 20, she is now two, I just had my 2nd, he is 6 weeks. I have been completely happy with my life since the birth of my daughter, yes I dont have a life, but I have my family and that is more important to me.

Answer 7

hi your not on ur own im 25 and av 2 kids age 4 and 9.sometimes i miss the not been like my m8s they go clubbin and things like that.but then i think wot if i didnt av my kids wot would i do i av neva known a life without them.it do get better when they go school i av a few hours to myself go shoppin stop at my m8s house 4 a brew you do start to get sum of ur life bk

Answer 8

girl, i know how you feel. i had my daughter at 17 and I'm 20 now. it's easy to feel regret when you have kids screaming and crying for reasons you don't even know. i love my daughter and in a way their saving us. I mean think about it, if we didn't have kids we would be drinking going out to clubs dancing on tables and embarrassing our selves, just be grateful for what you have.

So let those scank embarrass them selves.

Answer 9

It's true... that's why everyone tries to keep teenagers from having babies!!