How do I ask the person that I love to choose between her new boyfriend and me? She says she loves me more then him but she is going out with him and not me. Please help, thanks.
2007-02-18 11:31:08 · 16 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
It sounds like you are sad that she isn't going out with you and frustrated because she says she loves you more than him, but she's with him.
It sounds like you have spoken to her about this, what you really want is for her to stop going out with her new boyfriend and to go out with you. Sorry, you cannot control another person. No matter who she likes better or whatever she says, she gets to make the choice of who she dates.
If she really loves you more, she may have a problem with romantic intimacy, in other words she may prefer to be intimate with someone she isn't too attached to so as to protect herself. That could be a reason she doesn't date someone she love more.
We could make up a thousand reasons and scenarios of why she is doing what she's doing , and you will still not be satisfied because she is choosing to date someone else. It has nothing to do with you or who you are. Who she dates has to do with her own personal needs, desires and fears.
Why are you attracted to someone who doesn't want to be romantic with you? Are you looking for somethingfrom someone that can't give you what you need? Why? Why not put out the desire for someone available and willing to share herself with you? As long as your energy is spent persuing the impossible, you will be unavailable to receive what you long for.
You are precious and will find true love if you live it and look for it rather than trying to manipulate it.
Kind regards
2007-02-18 11:48:34 · answer #1 · answered by teach_empathy 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Tell her you don't want to make her choose between the two of you, and even though you love her... it's best if you drop out of the picture for now. Tell her that you want to find a girl who will love and respect you, and wants just you. It's not fair for you to be waiting in the wings, while she is playing you both. Maybe this would be a wake up call...if she thought that she might lose you to another girl...if she really loves you...she'll make a decision...and you didn't have to come right out and ask her to choose.
2007-02-18 11:41:16 · answer #2 · answered by sassy_395 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well its obvious she likes you no doubt about that but ask yourself this who is she with the most. IF its you then you have nothing to really worry about. But if she did choose her new bf over you then that is something to worry about. Have you ever seen this guy face to face tho like she could be lying about it just to get more attention from you. You guys need to talk about it thats the best thing you can do. Tell her what you feel etc and ask her how she feels etc and then ask her if she really does love you then why is she hurting you... by going out with this other guy. Maybe she doesnt know you love her? You guys need to talk. IF you dont you will never know.
2007-02-18 11:40:00 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I personally think that you should make it clear to her that she should choose between the two of you (unless you're happy with her dating both of you, which I assume you're not). I do not understand when she says that she loves you "more". What does more imply? Does it mean that she wants to share her love with someone else as well. I mean if you're happy with that, it's okay. But if you're not, which is quite logical, just tell her in the most straightforward way that she needs to make a choice. The faster the better.
2007-02-18 11:37:09 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Just go straight out and ask her. She can't be going out with two guys. Doesn't work in life like that. From the looks of it, since she's going out with her new boyfriend, she obviously doesn't love you enough to be with you instead of him. Give her up, it's going to be hard from the looks of your prospective, but you're going to have to go through life sacrificing a lot of things, whether you want to or not. She just hasn't figured out a way to say she loves him more than you and that she just wants to be friends with you. Seems like she's moving on - and you have to, too. Sorry to sound so harsh, but it's just the way I see it.
2007-02-18 11:39:33 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
you got to ask your self does she love you or is she in love with you and if she's in love with you then see what he offers her that you don't then try and tell her that you'll be able to offer her what he does and just let her know exactly how you feel don't hold any thing back just be straight forward and if she don't come back to you then she's not in love with you and let her go cause its not worth going threw all the pain and emotions its hard at first but you get over it you two will still have love for one another but its not worth holding on if she not in love anymore why stay loving her if she don't love you..
2007-02-18 11:54:59 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Whats the mater w/ you? She is just messing with your emotions and taking you for everything you ARE doing for her thats why she keeps you on the side, because if she did love you there wouldn't be anyone else! There's too many fish in the sea to hang around with a toad!
2007-02-18 11:35:45 · answer #7 · answered by Sheba 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
She is playing with the both of you. She wants to have her cake and eat it too. Move on hun. I know sometimes this is easier said then done but if you care about ur self at all let her go. She obviuosly only cares about her self not matter what she tells u. Believe me cuz i tend to be very selfish myself.
2007-02-18 11:36:49 · answer #8 · answered by Liz 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Tough one. I am going through a similar thing. You cannot force her to stop seeing the other guy b/c later she may miss him and resent you. Just hang in there and let her know you want her but try to date someone else also. That might get her to come around.
2007-02-18 11:35:07 · answer #9 · answered by LDR02 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
if she really loves u and shes not lieing she would've never braken up with u.but i think u should tell her ur movin on and u dont have time to wait for u.there are alot of other girls out there than for uto be chasing her
2007-02-18 11:38:34 · answer #10 · answered by korky_kool 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋