Is it ever truly possible to stay friends with your ex?

Question

if not, why not? and how many of you lovely people out there are still in contact with your ex(es)?
Thanks....bless y'all!

Answer 1

I have been best friends with my ex now for 20 years! We went out for a few months as teenagers, during which time we were mad for each other and were planning to get married when one day we both looked at each other and said, 'This is more about friendship now than anything', and that was it! Through all the awkward times, when all our friends were getting married, we escorted each other whenever we didn't have a partner, we supported each other through broken hearts and in every way he was better than a best girl friend to me.

A few years ago he became involved with someone who, despite the fact she had never met me (didn't want to), became jealous of our relationship and gave him the ultimatum. Of course he chose her and I accepted that although I knew that we would always hold each other special in our hearts. Well, they split after a couple of years and he came back to visit his old buddy and instantly we were back to being best mates.

My partners have never had a problem with him - apart from one who was pathologically jealous anyway - and in fact, over the years I have collected MORE exes-now-friends (5 in total). I have been to the weddings of two of them and become good friends with their wives.

I don't know why this happens., but it seems as though the friendship becomes more important than the love - I know, I am definitely going wrong somewhere I suppose but it doesn't seem such a bad thing! The friendships I have with my exes survive much longer than most marriages!

Answer 2

Well I broke up with my ex about 11 years ago and we have been BEST friends ever since. We talk on the phone 3-4 times a week and I hang out with him at least twice a week. He is one of the few people that I trust 100%. We were together for about 2 years and lived together for a little over 1 year. Our friendship is much more valuable than our relationship ever was. I think we were always meant to be just friends, not a couple. My parents divorced after 14 years of marriage and they are very good friends now. So it is possible. But it really depends on the people involved.

Answer 3

Yes! I have been separated for eleven years, divorced for six years, and my ex and I are still good friends. We have both remarried, but we still do favors for each other, and our two kids know they can feel comfortable having both of us at family functions together without any tension. We email each other, talk on the phone, and if we were in each others hometown, we would stop in for a visit. It makes so much more sense to part as friends, especially when children are involved. I still admire many things about my ex, but we are happier as friends now than we were as spouses.

Answer 4

I'm not in contact with any of my ex's. I've had bad experiences with the men that I date and refuse to make any kind of contact with them, and they respect my decision on that.
It's not the matter of hating, but I find, in particular if you are not married and secure with another person, then keeping friends with ex's is not healthy, in particular if you have not have space in the time for you both to grow.
It's also the other matter that if you meet another person who you really want to try and make a go with that relationship, you will have the "lingering-ex" situation and this can make this very uncomfortable for the person that you are dating, especially if you are really make a bond with the ex.
I say, that its best to keep away from that kind of situation. It will usually end up with one of the parties starting to have feelings for one another again, and this can lead to more heartache than the first time.
It could also lead to worse situations involving the other person's current partner finding you to be a threat and causing your "friendship" and relationship to suffer as a cause of this.

There is a reason that you broke up in the first place, so whatever the reason that you stopped talking or broke up is usually a valid one. I'll state that the main reason why relationships break up is due to the lack of trust from one party to another. If you want to make choice to invite that person back into your life, that is your decision, but you will end up realising why you stopped any kind of communication in the first place.

Answer 5

No, it's just not possible. Hell's Bells, if we could have gotten along, if we could have even tolerated each other, we'd never have gotten divorced. I still remember the feeling when it was finalized. I hadn't felt such a sense of relief, or felt so free since I was discharged from the Marine Corps, and I'm a Vietnam vet, so that's saying something.

Answer 6

I've seen people that have stayed friends, but only b/c the breakup was mild or mutual. I haven't had that kind of luck, so personally, I say no. I think it's for the best though; given the circumstances, would you want to watch a cheater be happy with someone else while you lay in wait for karma to bite them on the butt. I say it's not worth it.

Answer 7

Yes, it is possible. I got married to my ex young. He was abusive and after I left him, I did not speak too much to him for the first year. We have two children together who are now teenagers. We talk quite a bit and discuss each of our personal lives with each other. We are now like best friends. Strange, but it does happen.

Answer 8

It all depends on if you're both willing to keep the friendship. Most of the time it's just not the same after, even if you stay friends, because now you're more sensitive around each other, and probably won't be able to talk about certain things. i.e. If your ex gets a new bf/gf they might not tell you about it because you might be sensitive about it, etc.

Answer 9

It depends on the individuals involved whether you do, but it is certainly possible. In my case I think we are closer than before. We were good friends to begin with, and although I was hurt when the relationship ended I just kept in mind that I loved him as a friend and that friends forgive each other.

Answer 10

Hiya,
I dont think it is. I was friends with my ex for a while before we went out. we only went out for 2 months and since then we used to text as friends and sometimes go out with my group of friends but i would get the odd filthy and flirty text and i decided it wasnt working us being friends, especially as i have a boyfriend so i backed off from my ex and i think he has got the message.