My boyfriend and I have been going out for over a year. We are crazy about each other but he has a problem with saying I love you. He said that to him, love means marriage. We told each other "I love you" after two weeks of dating. He later said that he does not feel comfortable saying that but he cares about me and wants to be with me. He said that he doesn't know where the future will take us. Should I be concerned? I can feel that he really cares about me, but I am scared of being hurt.
2007-02-18 11:05:00 · 15 answers · asked by star 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
The answer is: You just might have a keeper. We big talkers can spew words of love like hot water, but is the true commitment behind them? I would trust a fellow who is reluctant to say anything in haste, knowing that when the words are spoken, they have considerable value.
Words, incidentally, are but a small fraction of communication between lovers. Train your senses to detect love language in other forms, and you may find that the evidence of his love is abundant.
2007-02-19 01:50:02 · answer #1 · answered by Carnac the Magnificent 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
The fact that he does not say "I love you" does not mean that he does not like you, or care for you, or wants to be with anyone else for that matter.
To some people, it seems like fewer and fewer anymore, those words are exteremely special. He may want to resesrve that phase for who he thinks is "the one." and only then.
For him to say it, with out the 100% sure feeling that you are the one he is going to be with forever, he does not want to cheapen the meaning of the term.
I am the same way. Think about it. So you are with someone for a year or so, and you are very young and have no intentions of getting married it the near future. You say "I love you" and then you grow apart . And then the next person that comes along you start to have feeling for and say the same thing.
Finally years later, you do find the one person you want to be with forever and say the same phrase you had said to multiple people in the past. It kind of lessens the meaning.
I'm not saying that you two will grow a part, and not ever get married. I am saying that at this point in the realtionship, although he may like you ALOT, he is not sure if it is going to be a forever thing, and will therefore not say that, just for the sake of saying it.
Does that make sense?
2007-02-18 11:16:00 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well, I have a boyfriend like that, and he didn't really want to get serious or get hurt either. We have been going out for a year and a half, and he also said he didn't want to say "I love you" yet until he truly meant it. I asked him if he thought of me day and night, and if he couldn't sleep, eat, read, or do everyday things without thinking of me, he loved me. He said he did, and after 3 months he could say I love you to me. You should be somewhat concerned, just be careful. "I love you" is hard for some people to say because they believe love is for marriage, as he said. Well good luck!
2007-02-18 11:13:45 · answer #3 · answered by LilDQ 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You are just scared and if that's the only thing that drives you nuts..let it go he does make sense on the whole future bit. Then what if you find the perfect person that is more your fitting i would be concern then I wouldn't be thinking about it so much unless you guys did get married and this was happening...That's when you should be worried. You guys are just in the dating moment . AND don't be so worried about being hurt it comes with being alive and living your life...the joys of learning and moving on just be cool and relax you are going to be fine trust me.
2007-02-18 11:13:21 · answer #4 · answered by memjabeana 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
The Dr. is in. No worries there. He shouldn't have to spell it out for you with three words on a regular basis. You "can feel it" that he really cares about you should be more than pleasing to you until he feels comfortable in saying it. Love what you have. Why should you want to add pressure where it's not needed. Don't worry about how he expresses his feelings. Just be happy that you are "The One". Don't hang yourself with that.
2007-02-18 11:24:32 · answer #5 · answered by Skinner 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Seems to me like he has a bit of commitment phobia...Maybe not. Love doesn't mean marriage..To me it doesn't..Maybe it scared him because yall said it after only two weeks of dating. No one knows where the future may take us. I would have a LONG talk with him about this...and see what he has to say...Good Luck!
2007-02-18 11:09:18 · answer #6 · answered by angelsdeath420 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Saying "I love you" just after two weeks of dating was a little soon - don't ya think. Maybe he thinks he said it and is sorry he did so doesn't want to say it again. When someone is "in love" they really want to tell each other everytime they get the chance. IMHO watch for the "red" flags or he is just taking it slowww. Good luck to you!
2007-02-18 11:12:43 · answer #7 · answered by mawat55 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You shouldn't be concerned if you dont want to get married to him or anyone.It sounds like he dont want to get married but if he dose than you should be patient until he is comfortable to tell you that he loves you.If you want to get married and he dont then you should leave him because you would be missing out on something great.Unless both of you are comfortable with just being girlfriend and boyfriend.
2007-02-18 11:15:23 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
The words "I Love You" are looked into way too much. In the end, they are three words.. that is it! It is a very cliche term!
What matters is how the person acts, how they treat you, how you both feel when you are together....
2007-02-18 11:10:30 · answer #9 · answered by Tanya 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
let him know how you feel and if you think you love him tell him but make sure you are in love with him first things will work out for the best
2007-02-18 11:08:43 · answer #10 · answered by m. 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋