Sometimes I don't think that me and my daughter's father should be friends because he has really hurt me in the past but I'm learning to get over and move on. The thing is if I should be friends with him for the sake of our daughter we talk on the phone go watch a movie dinner I really enjoy this because it gives my daughter the chance to be with both of us and we can both talk about things civil or I don't know if I should end our friendship and just only associate with each other about our daughter. What do you think?
2007-02-18 10:58:53 · 5 answers · asked by California<3 3 in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
You get to choose your friends. You do not have to spend time with someone you don't really like. In fact, by "pretending" on these little "dates" the three of you take, you are merely feeding in to your daughter's fantasy that mom and dad will get back together one day.
Now, I'm going to tell you something you may not like. You deserve to forgive him and move on. Yes... YOU deserve it. You deserve to not have to fret over what he did wrong to you. You deserve to have peace of mind knowing you have let the past go. You deserve to know that you can, indeed, be civil to the guy without hating his guts. You deserve to completely get over him. Forgiveness isn't about telling him what he did was okay... its about letting go of the hurt and bitterness and anger and living the life you deserve.
He is and always will be your daughter's father. You do not have to speak badly of him in front of your daughter. You can teach your daughter to respect him. You can let him have a relationship with his daughter.
But you do not have to be his friend.... unless he has qualities of friendship YOU are looking for.
2007-02-18 11:21:50 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
I think it is great that you can be friends with your daughter's father. I would keep it casual and only go out with him if your daughter is included in the outing. Keep in mind that if you do it too much or get too close to him your daughter might think you two are "getting back together" and the three of you will be a "family" again. And she will be hurt if that doesn't happen so keep things honest and above board with her at all times. You have to be able to talk with him...there is a child who needs both of you. Good luck.
2007-02-18 22:04:33 · answer #2 · answered by Barbiq 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
doing things as a family will only benefit your daughter as long as everyone involved including your daughter knows its only as friends and will never lead to anything more forgiveness is not about you ever saying what he did is or was OK its about moving on and not caring around that anger and pain anymore so if you can do that and get along really well for your daughters sake then good for you if more parents did this their children would be soo much better off!
2007-02-18 19:10:21 · answer #3 · answered by peterpansdate 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Hey, I think you're doing the right thing. If you and your ex were scrapping all the time, that wouldn't be good for your daughter.
2007-02-18 19:22:45 · answer #4 · answered by ? 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
As long as both of you are on the same page & he's not an inconsiderate father, I don't think anything's wrong w/ your situation.
2007-02-19 01:15:57 · answer #5 · answered by MaMaMiLaJo 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋