"Welcome to the psychiatric hotline.
If you are obsessive-compulsive, please press 1 repeatedly.
If you are co-dependent, please ask someone to press 2.
If you have multiple personalities, please press 3, 4, 5, and 6.
If you are paranoid, we know who you are and what you want. Just stay on the line so we can trace the call.
If you are schizophrenic, listen carefully and a little voice will tell you which number to press.
If you are depressed, it doesn't matter which number you press. No one will answer.
If you are delusional, please be aware that the thing you are holding on the side of your head is alive and about to bite your ear off.
If you are ambivalent, please hang up and call back in a few minutes.
If you are comatose, stuporous, or obtunded, press each number from 9 to 1 backwards, and then leave your name and number when you hear the beep.
If you would like to speak to a physician, pleased be advised that your plan requires a second opinion and a 30 day waiting period before you can receive this service, which has been designated nonessential."
2007-02-18 10:48:49 · 42 answers · asked by Tink 5 in Entertainment & Music ➔ Jokes & Riddles
lol!!! your jokes are always funny - nice one x
2007-02-18 10:52:39 · answer #1 · answered by aria 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
10/10
2007-02-19 12:09:45 · answer #2 · answered by me 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Funny! 8/10!
2007-02-18 10:51:13 · answer #3 · answered by cats 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I just put that as the answering machine recording on my cell phone! Nice! 9/10!
2007-02-18 10:57:58 · answer #4 · answered by All!c@ 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Thats funny
2007-02-18 12:26:29 · answer #5 · answered by AnyaNledo 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
heard it before but still worth a look and a laugh 8/10
2007-02-21 21:57:52 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Like this, but worries me slightly because if I ever get mentally ill someone from the NHS will probably implement your system!!!
2007-02-18 19:55:54 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
1st 1 i hv read pmsl 10/10
2007-02-18 19:05:26 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
It is super funny, but I have heard it before. I love the paranoid one.
2007-02-18 11:39:31 · answer #9 · answered by o_0 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Absolutely superb!
2007-02-22 11:01:31 · answer #10 · answered by NEIL P 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
(cries in corner)
2/10
2007-02-18 16:49:13 · answer #11 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋