On Friday she walked into 4th period and she looked like she was about to cry. she said that her head hurt really bad,so I rubbed her back and neck all of fourth period .She was so tense.I asked her what was wrong and she said that it was her boyfriend.
He yells at her all the time.Myself and others have seen it. He wants her to "marry him",(she's only in 9th grade)and yet he treats her like he hates her. He is extremely jealous of any male that she hangs out with,but he spends much time with his ex. The other day when she tried to come into class,she told him that she didn't want to fight with him. He grabbed her and pulled her back out into the hall and continued to argue. She loves him,but he treats her so badly. I am scared that he is going to be abusive in the future,but she wants to be with him. How can I help her? She says she wants to leave him,but she "loves him so much!"
2007-02-18 10:38:32 · 14 answers · asked by Myaloo 5 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
To put it bluntly: You need to mind your own business.
2007-02-18 10:42:45 · answer #1 · answered by rdnck 4 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Stay out of it. I tried convincing a friend to leave him for basically the same reason. She never listened to me and stayed with him. So then I was the 'bad' one for having bad-mouthed him. Be supportive if you want but don't get all upset about it. She has to realize it on her own. He will always be abusive and he continues because she allows it. And she is going to continue this cycle with other guys.The first time a guy does ANYTHING abusive you have to drop him for that reason. She needs to understand that someone who loves/cares about her would NEVER try to hurt her. Does she have an abusive father- whether towards her or her mother? She's learned about love the wrong way.
2007-02-18 18:49:22 · answer #2 · answered by strawberry 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
This is a classic story of an abusive relationship, and unfortunately there is nothing you can do to convince her of it. More than likely she is convinced she loves him and can't live without him: and he is controlling enough that I'm sure he'll keep her believing it. He'll do just enough to keep her strung along, and it will only get worse as it goes along, unless she gets out of it. The best thing you can do it be there for her, try to talk to her about it, tell her your concerns but let her know you're still there for her no matter what...And then hope eventually she realizes the truth...before it's too late. And another question: Where the hell are her parents in this??
2007-02-18 18:52:35 · answer #3 · answered by Tiffany 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It is sad to watch that happen to someone you care about, but she has to make the decision. If it were you in the relationship, you would be the one that needs to make the decision to get out. The truth is the guy doesn't love her. He likes the power he has over her because he knows he is weak and he has a low self-confidence level. Your friend's confidence has probably been severely drained by this guy. She probably feels like she can't or won't be able to find someone new and is probably terrified that she will be alone forever if she leaves this guy. She is wrong. There are other guys out there, guys that are much kinder, that are more confident and less jealous. She needs to realize that she is okay on her own and that it is okay to be single. It is BETTER to be single, then be with a guy like that. Unfortunately, SHE has to realize this, you can't make her see it. She does need her friend there for her though.
2007-02-18 18:48:34 · answer #4 · answered by butterflywndr 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I read your question and will leave you with this. No matter how well intentioned you are ,or how much more insight you think you have into your friend's problem, the ultimate decision is her's....Just listen to her ,offer advice and back off.This is something she has to do.
If there is any indication of abuse tell her parents, your parents or the school principal.....
2007-02-18 18:48:33 · answer #5 · answered by cesare214 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
well your friend should start to think that guy is treating her like s@#* he just saying that he loves your friend he probably just wants to sleep with her and get her pregnant but when the results say that your friend has a baby he is going to leave her. i know guys like that my friends brother was like that and he abused her best friend and got sent to the big house (jail) so i ed vise u tell Ur friend to leave him NOW
2007-02-18 18:49:35 · answer #6 · answered by munozmariajose 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
my friend needs to break up with her boyfriend too. they don't argue or anything like that just they never talk and never hang out anymore. your friend thinks she love's him, but it's really her boyfriend making her think that if she doesn't love him, they'll fight more. you need to tell her your honest opinion on their relationship, and if any of your other friends think the same thing, try and see if they'll chip in their opinion's too. and if she doesn't listen to you, it's just she doesn't want him lost, she probably thinks he love's her. good luck, and best wishes.
2007-02-18 18:49:10 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
You can't convince anyone of that...this question topic is full of people asking the same thing, or whther they should leave someone. The fact is that you can't convince someone to leave...they will do it in their own time or won't....the heart is a crazy place.
2007-02-18 18:42:22 · answer #8 · answered by Big Happy 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
most of the time in cases like this, she wont listen to anyone, she cares for him to much, it sounds like one of those situations were she has to find out for herself. hopefully
2007-02-18 18:42:58 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
If i were you i'd find some guys to go beat him down. After he's down then you go kick him right in his nutz.
2007-02-18 18:45:38 · answer #10 · answered by michael_trussell 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋