How long should I remain a virgin, or should I just throw the towel in?

Question

I'm a 28 yr old traditional (keep kosher and shabbos) Jewish woman (and doctor) who is waiting for marriage to have a sexual relationship. How long should I should deprive myself, especially when I live in a culture where Jewish men are messing around, and not interested in marriage?

Answer 1

Remain a virgin until you are married. That is the time to throw the towel in. Don't look around at what anyone else is doing. What matters is what you are doing. How do you respect yourself? Respect, admire and honor the person you are.

Answer 2

The choice really is up to you. But I would say this....since keeping that virginity is a part of your overal religious conviction then sacrificing it would be to go against that which you believe. While there may be circumstances that are extreme enough to make doing so acceptable, they are few and far between. In a world where religious conviction is all too often relegated to a secondary status in favor of expediency, social or economic pressure, or, as in far to many cases, legal extremity, the only thein we really have are those convictions. You now what you believe is the right thing to do and when all is said and done you can be nothing other than who you are. "To thine own self be true." Cliche, yes. But it has not been said better before or since. If you believe that you should wait until marriage, then wait, and don't let anyone, or anything make that choice for you. Holding to ones religious beliefs is always the right choice...regradless of WHAT those beliefs are. If more people understood that, we would all be much better off.

Answer 3

You have to choose what your values are. This is not a judgment, but the traditions really applied to women who would be married off to a husband well before your age. This is a remnant of an agrarian society of the past. As a professional, you have discarded the more antiquated aspects of the tradition. On the other hand, chastity is not an antiquated idea. The traditions of Judaism are a major factor in the preservation of the ancient religion whose practitioners seldom existed without major adversity. You have a difficult choice, which is yours alone to make. You have chosen to honor God in much of your life. This is a profound decision which requires the input of someone who knows you well. A stranger is at best a sounding board. In that light, I suggest you ask yourself what your marriage prospects are. That might help you clarify your short term position.

Answer 4

Seriously,it's for you to decide... lots of frum girls, and I guess this term is used loosely, have been a bit less that Shomer Negiah before marriage, I mean, I know of more than one girl from a frum family who knew how to work a pregnancy test from experience.. But in the end, it's your choice...
If you want to talk more, feel free to respond directly. Leave a message on the IM, I am usually "invisible"

Answer 5

From the view of an outsider the alternative is obvious. WAIT. It feels like your letting worry and the actuality that your the only one on your crew that hasn't had intercourse get in the way of you looking that distinctive somebody. Wait i will tell that that's what you relatively need to do and with you i think of in case you basically bypass out and do it then you definately would be relatively disillusioned.

Answer 6

Sex is more of a health, psychological and personal issue rather than religous.

The only reason all religions touch on the issue of sex is because sexual desire can be so strong that it overshadows spirituality. Apart from that, there are issues like unwanted pregnancies, sexually transmitted diseases etc. This is why pre-marital sex is considered a sin in all religions.

Having pre-marital sex or not having so does not make you a sinner or a saint.

Answer 7

I am also 28 and a male Virgin. Marry me.

Answer 8

I hold the same values as you, although I am 18 and male. I am Muslim, but we have the same principle of religion (Yichud - oneness of God). Although I know of some Lebanese friends who have girlfriends and don't follow properly. I stay following to please God. It's up to you, but I think you should find someone to love by now.

Answer 9

How are we supposed to tell you that? You are the one that knows what is right for you.

I personally think it is silly to wait like that, but that has nothing to do with you.

Answer 10

It's your body, you are not judged when you die. You will go out just as you came in. From nothing, to nothing. Indulge, live life while you have the chance.