I need some input from Stay at Home Moms out there, I have been home for 2 years with my children because?

Question

of the high cost of childcare. No matter which way we look at it. the equivilent of my income (or darn close) would just pay for daycare. I get he feeling from my husband that I should just be working for the sake of working - despite the fact that it would really generate little or no income for us in the long run. I've considered taking part time jobs in the evenings or weekends however there are many times when his shifts are late, or he goes out and I'm stuck here and I'd hate to commit to a job and not be able to fulfill my obligations. That and the evenings and weekends are the only time with my older children to focus on homework, hangout, give them their baths etc.
What do I do?
All his friends wives make enough money to cover childcare and then some, I don't have the education or experience for a high paying job ........(he compares me to them constantly)
These last 2 yrs have been really hard on my self-esteem and I find myself becoming unhappier every day. Help anyone?

Answer 1

That's really unfair of your husband to compare you with his friend's wives. He isn't helping the situation out any and has no right to kick you while you are down. Have you considered going to school to get the education to be able to get a better job? That's what I am doing right now. Yes, I'm having to take out student loans and I get grants to help out, but in the long run, it's going to be worth it since me getting a bachelor's degree is the best/quickest way I can think of for us to make more money in the future.

Most schools/universities have child care right on campus so it's pretty convenient.

It's tough to try to juggle work/family/marriage. You need nights out too. Take care.

Answer 2

I'm in this situation too. I have 4 kids ages 7, 3, almost 2 & almost 1. So putting them in daycare wouldn't be worth it since only the 7 year old is in school. I did work for a few months waitressing nights and weekends and had a sitter come to my house, but I still barely made anything. I do want a part time job because I feel like if you spend ALL your time with kids, and you don't do anything with friends or have another place to go, you will wind up depressed. You should find something even if it is only on Sat & Sun for 4 hours a day. You may not make much, but it will be good for you to get out.

Another thing that may be good for you is try to earn a degree at home. There are good colleges that have online courses, maybe you could get financial aid and by the time you don't need daycare and they're a little older, you'll be more educated and be ready for a career.

Then you can dedicate a few hours a day to school at home, have a part time job just to get out a day or two, and you'll start to feel more productive and happy. And you'll get a chance to miss your kids which I believe helps with having the patience for being a stay at home mom.

Answer 3

I like you had a career and then after our 3rd child was born daycare was just to expensive. It was a hard adjustment at first. For me it just took time and then it just seemed normal to be home. How I handle stress is my fellow stay-at-home moms I befriended. We take the kids to the park and go have lunch together..that kind of thing. I also have my husband keep the children for a few hours here and there even if all I do is go sit on a park bench and read a book. I run my errands with my children. They are pretty well behaved in public because they have had lots of practice! My best advise is just give it a shot. If your miserable after 6 months don't feel guilty for looking for a new job. Some people just are not happy SAHM's and there is nothing wrong with that either.

Answer 4

Lat Nov I quite my full time job at a large financial institution to be home with my children (almost 4 and 15 month) I started selling Mary Kay. It gave me adult interaction and income. I don't feel like I'm working it's like getting paid for hanging out with my girlfriends. I have met so many other stay at home moms and the support I get form other Mary Kay consultants is the best part. I started it for the discount and found so much more. If you are interested in any of the facts email me. If not perhaps there is another direct sales that you would like think about your interest and see what's out there that has the freedom and flexibility.

Good Luck

Answer 5

I started out 4 years ago with the same question and tried lots of things. I just wanted to be able to stay home with my kids, and earn some extra money. eBay worked for me. You can get started with no financial investment, see how it goes, and grow the business as you are comfortable with it. It is fun, profitable, and you can work around your family's schedule. I started doing eBay part time while I worked for a marketing company, and after 3 months was able to do eBay full time. I now make more money and I have ever made at any job.

You may find this guide helpful in getting started on eBay. I wrote it to help others (specifically stay at home moms) get started on ebay. It is written from my own experience from selling for 4 years. I've sold about 12,000 items. I've learned alot along the way by trial and error and hope to save others some time and mistakes!

http://cgi.ebay.com/stay-at-home-moms-gu...

Best of luck to you! Blessings-

Answer 6

i quit working full time when my second child was born because of the very same circumstance. Not to mention the children will contract more illnesses in child care which will generate more doctor bills. I did work every other weekend though. What about returning to school? Many states offer daycare assistance, maybe if you qualify you can return to work or go to school. Going to school was the best thing I ever did. I went for two years and earned my LPN degree, nursing. I was not very smart in high school and didn't even like school. If I didn't make what I do now, I don't know how we'd have to live or be able to make it. Good luck and I hope you can get through to your husband.

Answer 7

I am also a stay-at-home mom, and just recently my husband lost his job where he was making a desent amount of money that
got us by and i never really had to work. well now that he got this new job, he has taken a severe pay cut, so i began to look for work, found a job that wasnt too many hours, and worked for 4 days. i had counted on my mom to babysit (free) well stess played a big factor among with other things she had going on in her life and she said she wasnt able to do it. well when my husband and i sat down and talked about it, me with no education past 11th grade and not very much work experience i am not going to get a job that is going to pay enough to cover babysitting, the extra gas for running to work and babysitters, and plus it is just not worth it. Stay at home with your kids like you have been doing. Unless they are all in school all day long, it is almost impossible to try to find affordable, dependable, safe childcare for your kids. If things are that bad for you guys financially try to get some public asistance, or maybe think about going back to school part time. (the government will give grants to people with children trying to further there education.)
Tell your husband that it is very hurtful that he compares you to his friends wives, and that he know when he met you obviously that you did not have the education or experience for a high paying job. Obviously he has no idea how much work that it is to stay home and take care of your kids full time.
Get involved in some money making schemes of your own. I have garage sales in the summer to help contribute some income and also I participate in selling outgrown kids clothes to a consignment shop for some extra cash. Yo could also see if anyone in your neighborhood or childrens school needs a babysitter or someone to put there kids off and on the bus??
Good luck too you and dont be so down on yourself, take a look at the beautiful children you have created and how they are the people that they are because of you being there for them at home everyday. a lot of kids do not have that stability everyday like ours!!!! Hope i helped.

Answer 8

You are doing the most rewarding job in the world. I, too, stayed home for almost 13 years. We learned to do without and I wouldn't change a thing. I got to enjoy the early years of my kids while he was working and they weren't raised by a sitter. When the children hit school age, look for work 3-5 hours each morning or afternoon.

Answer 9

Honey you are working. You raise your children! There are very few people who do actually stay home and raise their children. Your husband needs to realize that both of your number one priority is to raise your children. He shouldn't put you down for something that he can't do his self.I'll bet you a nickle that if he had to stay home with them for 2 days that he would realize that your job matters more than he could ever know.I have the privilege to raise both of my kids. I know it gets hard, but it's worth it.Money is nice to have but your children are only young once. Hang in there.

Answer 10

I don't know how it is with your family but I had 5 kids all 1yr apart 4yrs between the 4th and 5th one. No family to depend on it was just my husband and myself. I had asked my husband if it was ok if I stayed home to raise the kids like my mom did with us but hey diaper's? So while my husband worked I kept the house up made sure dinner was ready and the younger kids fed with a bath then my husband took over while I worked nights. For 26yr we did this now it is just the two of us spending time with our grandkids. For 25yrs of marriage it has always been the two of us no outsider's and sad to say no family member's. While we raised our kids they had fun while they had people watched their kids but no one would watch 5 kids all at once.