age 13 co-ed sleepover?

Question

Quick opinions,
My boyfriend just called his 13 yr.old daughter. when he got off the phone he was upset.. she informed him she was going over to a friends ( a boy) to spend the night... Her mom is allowing this...
I will tell you a little about his daughter .. 13, a little on the heavy side but very pretty, she is fun but not into anything bad.. she knows stuff but not first hand. She is on the honor roll at school most the time.. she is into books and music. I am basically saying she is a good kid but We are also wondering if this is a good situation to allow her to go spend the night at a boys house.. even if the parents are home ???

this is one of those nightmare divorces where the woman done and still does all the wrong but he always loses.. honestly, just one of those deals.. and you only know what i mean if you have been through it... he has no say.. mother has all the say and you would be amazed at what she gets away with.. it is so frustrating at times.. law isn't fair unless you got alot of money and the best lawyer.. he unfortuantely used up his $$ on a dead beat lawyer and got no where...

Answer 1

As a father of two girls one of the same age I say not only no, but that communications between he and the ex need to be beefed up a bit. Obviously this is occuring because 1 she has no idea what the father is expecting for his daughter, or 2 she knows and is eager to piss the both of you off. I understand that the girl is responsible and that this could lead to trust issues, but the reality is the age. 13, all too often parents write their children off once they hit high school and others earlier. They chalk it up to the "It's there life" line. In honesty, it is their life, but it is your duty to guide the child in their development. I would speak with my daughter and explain to her why this had upset me and that I understand a bit about growing up and also know that often things happen to people that they never really saw coming.

It is important that you convey your emotions to your daughter. While the ex is the one you probably feel angry towards also remember that your daughter is the one making the final choices.

Good luck

Answer 2

My first instant reaction was HEEEEEELLLLLLL NO. Although it's wonderful that your step-daughter is such a good kid, it's really irrelevant. It's an inappropriate situation for her to be in. You don't know the boy, you don't know how the evening will progress once the parents fall asleep. I'm terrified for you and your boyfriend.

I can't imagine what's going through his mind right now. I hope that this works out in the best and safest possible way. I am amazed and appalled that her mother allowed this.

Answer 3

He needs to step in and stop this from happening - trust me - I was a junior high teacher for 3 years and work with youth now (and have for over 10 years). Don't assume that they are "innocent" at 13. He needs to step up and be a man and step into the situation somehow. I know it is hard since he is divorced, but this will be bad news...

Answer 4

not a good idea. he is the father, he does have a say. i'd call the mom asap. Most kids are good individually its when they get together and start compounding ideas that trouble brews. this kids parents ( the ones throwing the party ) are suffering from a serious lapse in judgement. and peer pressure is the worst especially at 13. she may be a great, smart, responsible kid, im not taking anything away from her, its just better safe than sorry.

* it can crush a pre-teens social life not to attend a party, offer to pick her up at midnight.

Answer 5

That's awesome that she's such a great girl. And it seems that she has a great reputation, pretty smart good judgement. To me she seems like a fantastic girl, but if she went to that sleepoverwith raging hormones her reputation will end and she will be labeled at a young age. I feel she's too young and has a lot going for her so why jepordize that. Sometimes even if parents are presnt it won't have much of an effect. Best of luck xx

Answer 6

I am the same age as her and an honor roll student, but I used to go to a boy's house after school every day and we did do some experimenting [but not too far!!!] So, you might not want to let her go. If you do let her go, let's hope that she is smarter than I am.

Answer 7

Yes. I'm a 13 year old, and I've had co-ed sleepovers. The thing is, the first couple of time the parents stayed, but after that, they realize we're all just great friends. There's normally like 5-7 of us. Trust me, no 13 year old, who's smart like you say, is gunna want to do anything (besides maybe a quick kiss) in front of all those people.
But if your a parent who hosts one, the kids will stay up later then you'd expect. (I remember one time, some guys and I didn't fall asleep at all, and at like 6 in the morning we went for a run...fun times, fun times... )

But definitely yes, give your kid some credit, you say she's smart, give her a chance to back you up with that.

Answer 8

good kids are doing group co-ed sleepovers these days with adult supervision... they think nothing of it and if the parents run a hissy fit, the kids are confused... they talk, eat pizza in large quantities, laugh, listen to music, and generally learn a lot more about the opposite gender than they could dating. I think it is a good thing (and I'm a rather conservative parent)

one girl at one guy's house is another matter, and no parents should encourage that

Answer 9

Kids at that age - even good kids - experiment sexually when given the opportunity. Their hormones are going crazy and they do not always have mature judgement. It is my personal opinion that the parents need to put their foot down on this, as it seems very inappropriate.

Answer 10

it's very inappropriate. the younger these girls are exposed to boys, the more they will be self conscious of their looks. they will want to impress the boys and will get distracted from what is really important like enjoying one's girlfriends and doing well in school. her mother is obviously an idiot.