Hello! What do you say to someone you love who has just lost their father and needs support but you only have phone contact so cannot hug the person? thanks for your help
2007-02-18 10:09:06 · 24 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
i believe that all u can really say is that you are not going to patronise them by asking cliches like how are u and i know how you feel cause u don't everyone is different just let them know that u are always there no matter what time of day it is for no matter what reason they need you. trust me i lost my daughter and this was the best advice my bessie mate gave to me and for that i will always love her.
All the sympathy in the world won't make it better but treating your friend as normal will.
2007-02-18 12:08:15 · answer #1 · answered by debbie b 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
There is no one magic answer but just letting your friend know you are there should they need you for anything is best.
If the loss is recent the person can feel suffocated as everyone is fussing about them with offers of help or tiptoing around then maninly because it's they not the person who's suffered the loss who doesn't know what to do.
Phone your friend and say you're thinking of them. After a while get back in touch and offer to meet up.
Don't treat your friend any diffrent to what you did before and don't feel like you have to watch what you say around them as this may make them feel more alienated especially if that's all that anyone ever talks to them about.
The sign of a good friend os someone who knows when to be there for you and when you need to be alone.
2007-02-19 02:23:09 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I can told understand this question. I lost my mom and the best way to help this person is to be there for them even if it is a phone call. Also let them know that there is someone above also that loves them and will be there for them. Something else that helped me was knowing that my mom but in case the father will always watch over you even when they are gone.
2007-02-18 18:13:23 · answer #3 · answered by Marie 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Don't be afraid to talk to them and ask them about their feelings eg. whether it has properly sunk in yet or not, do they have anything you can help in any way with, to reassure them you are only a phone call away when things are too tough. Also don't be afraid to talk about the person who died....so many people will avoid doing this for fear of upsetting someone even further...but it is nice to be able to talk about a person who has died even if it does make you cry...then always end the conversation chatting about ordinary things so that the person isn't left with a whole pile of stirred up emotions.
Hope that helps.
2007-02-18 18:15:23 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Just tell them your always be there for them if they ever need to talk, or cry, or shout.
My father died when I was younger and 2 of my Grandparents have died in the last few years - even though I've lost people, I never really know what is best to say.
I guess all you can say is how you feel, I'm sure they know you love and care for them and are thinking of them. x
2007-02-18 18:14:23 · answer #5 · answered by keeley 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
u can only console people so much by phone. u have 2 be able 2 look people in the eye to really have proper contact with. one can only give sympathy and support through phone but personal contact is better.
2007-02-18 18:17:36 · answer #6 · answered by happy chappy 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
As other's have said, tell them that you are there if they want to talk. You are really sorry that they are going through what they aer experiencing and that if they want to escape from it for a while you can do that too. Sometimes people don't want to talk about the loss and want to feel normal. That is just as valuable.
Tell them that you wish you were able to give them a hug. That means the world too!
2007-02-18 18:29:50 · answer #7 · answered by Rats 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
My bf lost his dad a few years ago. When he told me on the phone, I was a bit lost for words at the start. Then I said 'I'm so sorry, if there is anything you need, I will be there for you'. To be honest there's not much you can say. I asked him how his mother was coping and if they needed me to do anything for them I would be there.
2007-02-18 18:14:15 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Don't say anything. Tell them that they're in your thoughts (and prayers, if you're religious) and assure them that you're always there for them if they need to talk. I've lost a loved one, and people constantly saying "I'm so sorry" and "they've gone to a better place" gets really, really old. Just let them know you care and you'll do anything for them that they need. You could always send them something really simple, like cookies or something, to let them know you're thinking of them.
2007-02-18 18:14:07 · answer #9 · answered by kate 3 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Tell her you will be there for her whenever she needs to talk about it. Tell her you are sending as much love and support as you can over the phone.
2007-02-18 18:15:28 · answer #10 · answered by barbaranne1942 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋