What is the best way to forgive and forget the past and go on?

Question

I love the Lord and I try to be the best Christian that I can be. But because of some of the things I have been through as a youth and adult there are remants or parts of bitterness and anger in my life.
I know as a christian there are times of tears and trials I have been there. But my question is how to I forgive those in my family and other influneces that were very hard on me, mean to me and verbally and emotionally abusive? Although I have prayed numerous times about these things and asked God to deliver me there are still some scars which I am praying will heal. How did you get past "the past" and go one in your life?

Answer 1

Psalm 23

Answer 2

Bitterness and anger are normal human emotions. When you have been burned by a family member it also adds confusion to the bitterness and anger. Forgive them but you should never forget the life lessons learned. The past can be a learning tool to help you build your future and help prevent you from making the same mistakes over and over. Unfortunately, your past is part of who you are. Prayer is only part of the answer and God gives all of us the necessary tools to make the landmark decisions in our lives. Trials test our emotional strengths and define our character. The decisions we make can be either good or bad but we own them. Just like your family will have to own up to what they have done to you.

Answer 3

The best way to forgive and forget is not to view yourself as a victim. If you carry the burden of anger and resentment from now on you only harm yourself.
I believe that to forgive and forget means to forgive yourself, and make sure no one can harm you in the same way ever again.
Depending on the severity of the abuse you suffered, you can either distance yourself from those who harmed you or openly accuse them by confronting and asking explanations. To forgive something does not mean you leave others to carry on and maybe harm someone else in the same way.
If what you suffered was done out of ignorance, then you have no
option but to forgive, release and go on with the rest of your life.

Answer 4

Recognize that "forgive" has many meanings. (I consider it three, but there are other ways of looking at it) 1) you begin by not wishing them ill. You don't ask the Almighty to smite them, and by praying about it, you receive the power from the Savior that you would not be made happy if something bad happened to them. That is YHVH's requirement, so get with the program! 2) If they genuinely repent and ASK YOUR FORGIVENESS then you face the very difficult problem of developing trust for them-- Ask the Savior. He forgave us, and he can give you the power to do that too. You maybe shouldn't trust the thief with the moneybag, but the Messiah even did that! 3) don't worry about this one, it isn't your job. (you can pray for it to happen though) That is where the Savior YAHOSHUA takes their sins and gives them His righteousness for their sins. You can't do this, so you don't have to try, but it would be nice if you could pray that they would repent. If you see them in Heaven, you can be sure that the Savior approved them (unlikely though that might seem now) and if HE did, then you will be able to also. (He never makes mistakes)

Answer 5

salam (peace be up you), i believe in one God, worship no God, but God... no matter what faith u are from, after all u are a human being, just like me (muslim faith)... i want to answer this question from what i have heard from wise people... Many couples in the world are in a constant struggle because of something that happened in the past, because both couples are in a way judging each other on basis of what happened in the past and not doing anything to make their marriage better they are troubled. same way, what ever happened to you must have been painful, and who ever did that to u it is not your job to label him or punish him in anyway (system or law inforcements should take care of that)... leave the judgement to the One Who is most Fair, and most JUST, He knows what happened to you, He saw it, He will deal with those people (depends how strong your faith is on the day of judgement, if not, then strengthen it, work on it). Concenterate on the present, and be the best human being u can, remember... strongest person is the one who fights his/her own desires and tries to do good, even when its merely impossible... work more on your faith, i think you are still in disbelief in somethings in your belief...
Also, you must have noticed that wheven ever u tried to forget about your past, u were immediately reminded by something hurtful, that again made u think about the things in the past and same ol struggle all over again...It is the satan's whisperings day in day out, unless and until u dont take those whisperings as satan's whispering, u wont find the courage to defend yourself from those voices... take satan as your enemy,.. if u think it was helpful plz write me at [e-mail], thank u
... hope it helps, God knows, best, May God guide you...
sincerly
faiz
salam, (peace be upon u)

Answer 6

For one thing, you need to work on forgiving these people. I know its hard. I have been in your position. Its a very hard thing to do. The
thing is you can forgive them, but you are not gonna forget it. Ask God for his help, and keep
trying. Don't give up. It will take a long time to
do this, so get started. It will only make you bitter over time. God will help you, honest.

Answer 7

OK let me just say you are not alone, well maybe you are,
anyway. I'm a former saved person who finally saw the light,
or maybe it was the dark side in all this forgiveness BS.
To pass from this world and make to heaven is impossible
for a smuck like me, Because I really studied the bible and saw the criteria for gettin [saved] and realized I couldn't be a christian. I finally saw that I was one of Gods chosen unforgiven.
A sacrifice to the pits of hell for his greater more deserved children. His purified over comer army, I will not be in the ranks of
that army. Am I scared, hell[no pun intended] Yes!
But I'm also free while I'm still alive,Free of the constant struggle
to please his Majesty, wondering if I'm gonna make It to heaven.

Answer 8

Give the past its due then leave it in the past. When these hurtful thoughts come to you, literally push them aside and instead find a verse to replace it, or a song that describes what blessings God has given you. Here's that song by Crystal Lewis that you can sing (if you know it) instead of listening to your past:

He gives beauty for ashes
Strength for fear
Gladness for mourning
Peace for despair

When sorrow seems to surround you
When suffering hangs heavy oer your head
Know that tomorrow brings
Wholeness and healing
God knows your need
Just believe what He said

When what you've done keeps you from moving on
When fear wants to make itself at home in your heart
Know that forgiveness brings
Wholeness and healing
God knows your need
Just believe what He said

I once was lost but God has found me
Though I was bound Ive been set free
Ive been made righteous in His sight
A display of His splendor all can see

He gives beauty for ashes
Strength for fear
Gladness for mourning
Peace for despair

May I suggest that you do a study on forgiveness so that you can arm yourself against these thoughts and instead get on with your life and not give these unforgiving ideas room to grow. :)

Answer 9

I would recommend to you a book by John Bevere called The Bait of Satan. Check for it online or a Christian bookstore.

Answer 10

by feeling sorry for the ones that did it to you..they will answer to God...Everything we do ...good and bad..gets written down in the book of life..if we do good things we are judged worthy of life everlasting..if we were cruel and mean and hurt everyone and conspired with others to do wrong God will not let us live.
We all live by the same rules...so feel sorry for them..they are too ignorant to ask for forgiveness for sins they do..you will come off victorious.