A guy friend and I had a very big understanding. I have know him almost year and we are both in forties. In the misunderstanding he said he did not want to date and there was nothing there but there was a time I thought he was my secret pal and he would look at me a lot. He denied by the secret pal but he said a lot of similar things the pal did. I thought he was playing games in the end. It took a while before I had to ask him but I did it wrong by asking some of his friend about him at first and then I realized I did it backwards. And, for the last month or so I have tried to make up for it and make it right with him. It is hard for me to understand where he is coming from because I was married 12 years to one man and then he did three years ago; I have not really dated at all. This guy has been married a few times. Any suggestions?
2007-02-18 09:29:32 · 8 answers · asked by Sweet Pea 3 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
no i don't think he does want to date you, just wants to be friends.
2007-02-18 09:33:51 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Believe him, he is not interested and do not waste another moment of your precious time on this guy.
If he is even a friend, then cool your jets and just be a friend.
Do not worry about making it up to him.
Furthermore... this is hard, the first steps in "dating" especially after being widowed are hard. Let me add as someonelse did, the guys been married a few times, I would think long and hard before folllowing through on someone like this. He really isn't interested and you forcing the issue will only make matters worse.
Don't play those silly games. You will be better off, if a guy is interested and he says so clearly, then date (if he is a decent guy etc. etc.)
Oh and expect a couple of guys to be jerks and complain that they don't think they can live up to the memory of your deceased spouse. Just blow them off.
2007-02-18 17:37:38 · answer #2 · answered by thankyou "iana" 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think you should sit down and talk to him one more time. Explain that you realize you made a mistake going to his friends first but you have learned from the experience. Tell him exactly what you are wanting and then listen to his response. I think honesty is important. If he does not want to date and tells you again, then respect that and just be a friend. There are wonderful men out there that want a woman like you. No sense in trying to date some one that does not see your date worthy material.
2007-02-18 17:36:07 · answer #3 · answered by ONLY 1 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
A forty year old man who plays silly little games and has been married a few times is probably not the best situation.
2007-02-18 17:34:38 · answer #4 · answered by I Tell It Like It Is 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well when a man is interested in a women he makes time to hang out with her and buy her stuff etc... When a man doesn't like the women or want to have anything with her he would disappear... So, I think he does...factoring that he's been married a couple of times.. I hope that answers your question.
2007-02-18 17:33:22 · answer #5 · answered by Rain L 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It sounds pretty complicated. You need to have a really big heart to heart with this guy and open up to how you feel you may have messed things up. (if you like him and would date him that is). If he isn't willing to talk then cut your losses and don't worry about the what if's because someone else may very well be vying for your affection.
2007-02-18 17:34:01 · answer #6 · answered by Amanda G 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Take him out to a romantic dinner. See what happens.
2007-02-18 17:32:35 · answer #7 · answered by American citizen and taxpayer 7 · 0⤊ 1⤋
yes date and sex also
2007-02-18 17:32:05 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋