Say you had been seeing this really great guy, who is sensitive, understanding, easy to get along with and the total gentleman. He gives you butterflies when he phones or when you see him and you think he might be 'the one'. Then things move on a stage and you discover that he is extremely poorly endowed (we're talking button mushroom) and to make matters worse he has problems in getting it up. Would it make a girl shallow if she were to dump him because of this? I know it sounds really, really insensitive, but is it possible to have a long term relationship with all this in mind??
It would be funny if it weren't true! So sensitive answers only please!!!
2007-02-18 08:32:51 · 35 answers · asked by L D 5 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
I totally agree that a relationship souldn't be based on sex, we've been seeing each other for a long time before we made that move. But, i'm not sure i could go the rest of my life without it. We have talked about it and he tells me it's nerves and i have been patient and non-demanding to try and ease the 'nerves' but stil no joy.
2007-02-18 08:39:43 · update #1
I mean it depends on you!! It does seem shallow to leave someone for that when they want to love you and only you and give you the world, however if you know that you will not be happen and eventually hurting him (e.g. cheating) because of this then I would not stay because you will be miserable trying to live a life that you do not want to with him, and he will also be living a lie when you could just let him know so that he could possibly move on!!
2007-02-18 08:38:05 · answer #1 · answered by Breann 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
if u really like this guy, yes it would be shallow for u to dump him. sex is not the be all and end all in a relationship, though some people seem to think, the way they go on.
what u should be doing if u care about him,is finding out why he has problems gettin it up. it could be the fact that he knows he is poorly endowed and maybe other girls have laughed at him. so his confidence may be low. size doesn't matter, its what u do with it. help him sort things out and u can have a wonderful long term relationship.
2007-02-18 08:43:14 · answer #2 · answered by rambo 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I think it would be shallow, because if she really loves him, then that doesn't even matter. Sex is not the most important thing in a relationship. And being that the guy is sensitive, easy going, and a VERY nice gentleman, what should she complain for. The bedroom and sex life two people can work on later in the relationship. But they should build that special bond together and if that happens first, and if she is a good one, then she won't leave. really hope this helps.
2007-02-18 08:42:51 · answer #3 · answered by jenni_2004us 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
No it's not that bad. Why should you be unhappy? I mean ok fair enough it could be seen as a bit shallow to some but for most woman they want a good time! Wait a bit longer and see what happens, try doing sexy things to arouse him and possibly get it up! If it doesn't work and you are still unhappy just ask for a break and see how you feel without him being around. Then you will know if you can put up with it or not! There's no point in you getting no joy and staying with him because it will result in arguments!
2007-02-19 00:38:42 · answer #4 · answered by Kaz 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
My husband is nicely endowed yet, we have found over the years we both derive the greatest of sexual arousal and satisfaction with out the actual act of consummation. (I tell him he had magic fingers, among other things.)
Instruct him on what gives you pleasure, guide him through the process. He should find the greatest of pleasures in fulfilling and satisfying your sexual desires.
If he doesn't then being poorly endowed may not be the only problem. I am sure he has very low self esteem related to his button mushroom. He is probably so self conscience of his small mushroom that he is afraid of trying new sexual ideas for fear he will not be up to the task. If he finds he can arouse you and satisfy you sexually without actually entering the process (so to say) it may help his confidence, sexually.
I often wonder how many women are actually sexually satisfied with just a mere bump and grind. Honestly not many I am sure. And don't be as thoughtless as some men are and forget to return the sexual pleasures.
2007-02-18 09:03:19 · answer #5 · answered by Mee-Maw 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
My friend had a similar situation, as her boyfriend suffered from premature ejaculation. She was with him for a couple of years and was really understanding about it all but it got to the point where the sex side of the relationship just fizzled out completely. They were great friends and got on brilliantly but it wasn't enough of a relationship for her and after limping on for a while, they finally called it a day. I know there's more to a relationship than sex, but for most people it's still an important part. If it was me and I really liked him, I'd give him a chance because once he's had some time to get over his nerves, you could find he's the best lover ever!
2007-02-18 08:50:22 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Well sex is a big part of a relationship and intimacy of a physical kind can make or break a relationship so to be honest i don't think i girl would be shallow to end a relationship because of this.
However if the girl does like this guy as much as she says she does, then regardless of this problem she would be willing to help find a solution so that she could stay with him.
All relationships have problems, its up to both partners to work together in fixing them.
xxx
2007-02-18 08:41:56 · answer #7 · answered by anastacia500 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I recently came out a relationship where I was not satisfied in bed. It was mostly that I couldn't stand the thought of him not being circumsized. As blunt and vague as this is, I enjoy giving head and well, if I don't like what I am looking at, I just can't. It grossed me out. Anyhow. I know it's not the same thing, but if you are not comfortable with it; it will not work. You can love a person, but if what you also desire is a satisfying sexual relationship, you need to move on now, before it gets deeper. You need to ask yourself if his charm and gentlemanness...so to speak is enough to make up for that 'missing departement' or will you sooner or later go looking for someone else that can??? Is that what you want...to be cheating later in yalls relationship?
2007-02-18 08:42:45 · answer #8 · answered by ? 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
This is a tough situation because as nice as he is,sexual compatability is very important in a long term realtionship. I understand he gives you butterflies-but do you love him? I don't think it's shallow to end the realtionship if you honestly feel that you are not-and cannot be sexually compatible. I wouldn't tell him that's the reason-I would give a kinder reason that wouldn't hurt him so much. But the longer you keep going in this relationship,the more it will hurt him.
Otherwise there are alternatives for him to satisfy you. You need to decide if this would be enough for you. Whatever you do,be respectful towards him. Best of luck to you.
2007-02-18 08:50:23 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Yes, I think the girl would be shallow if she dumped a wonderful man because of this. So many people put so much emphasis on the sexual part of the relationship and not enough on the emotional. A good sexual relationship, I believe, comes naturally with a good loving relationship. I believe that once two people are secure in a loving relationship that sex in secondary. The sexual aspect can be dealt with in many different ways. Gaining and retaining an erection, may have to more with the brain then with the physical aspects of the body....especially if the man feels he is going to be a big disappointment to the women...and worse yet, when the women reinforces his belief. Sexual pleasure begins in the brain, and can be achieved in many different ways. The key is to find a woman who doesn't just value a sexual relationship, but values all aspects of a relationship. I think you will find her someday....you deserve someone who will treat you as well as you treat her.
2007-02-18 08:45:16 · answer #10 · answered by sassy_395 4 · 0⤊ 1⤋