I have never had a proper boyfriend because whenever I like a guy, I never let them get close to me. And if I ever get close enough to somone for anything to happen I run a mile. I never understand why anybody would want to go out with me, and I hate to be in peoples attention. Is it low self-esteem or something else? And what should I do?
2007-02-18 08:19:21 · 9 answers · asked by :) 5 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
Oh you poor soul. You really don't have much time for yourself, do you? You really have to learn to like you first. Once that's established, then you can learn to enjoy being treated nicely. Look in the mirror every day and smile and say how much you like the person standing in front of you. It sounds odd but it works a treat - after a few months, you find yourself talking yourself up and other people think you are big headed - what you are is re-routing bad brain connections - there is a biological basis if you care to read up about it. Its reversible and most people suffer low self esteem at some point in their lives. Good luck.
2007-02-18 08:23:57 · answer #1 · answered by AUNTY EM 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I really feel for you because I've been where you are now and I felt exactly the same. It all changed for me when I met this guy and I actually told him how I felt and what my hang-ups were. After that he was so sweet about everything and let me go at my own pace.
My advice to you would be to tell the man you like how you feel and if he likes you too he will understand and make you feel comfortable with him. If he doesn't then he's not worthy of you or your time.
Remember men are not mind readers and can only help you if you tell them!
As for you self-esteem, THERE IS ABSOLUTELY NOTHING WRONG WITH YOU! You are only feeling what most women feel everyday.
Good luck honey x x
2007-02-18 09:03:13 · answer #2 · answered by Nikki1990 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i think you have a huge lack in self confidence. I have the same problem & it means that i often back away & hurt my boyfriends because it is easier than accepting they want me for who i am.
is there some sport or activity that you know you are good at? something that does fill you with confidence? I found that riding horses & becoming a podium dancer gave me a massive confidence boost as being able to control a horse or dance in front of club of upto 1000 people suddenly makes things like talking to a boyfriend a whole lot easier. why not try a little bit of drama at your local theatre? it needs to be something that will push you out of your comfort zone but when you suceed at it you will really feel so much better about yourself and then you maybe more ready to take a relationship to the next level. doing activities like that may also help you meet men with more common interests that help you feel more at ease with them.
2007-02-18 08:29:07 · answer #3 · answered by ATP 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You should let yourself go sometime and get close to someone or you might always wonder what could have been. Everything in life happens for a reason if things don't work out after you get close to them maybe they needed you in there life or you needed them in yours. That is something that barely ever is shown to the naked eye.
2007-02-18 08:23:14 · answer #4 · answered by ho0k4 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
sweety i use to be in the same place you are right now two years ago. my prob was the fact that i didn't want to get hurt and i didn't find myself good enough to have a b/f. and i wasn't comfortable with my body. before i had never been around guys but now that i'am i'm myself and i love it. don't be ashamed of what you have and don't be afraid to get hurt. your going to sooner or later. just let yourself go and it will all be ok
2007-02-18 08:34:15 · answer #5 · answered by Steelers Chick 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well its obvious that you are scared of getting hurt, most of us are, and you are using your insecurities as a barrier.
You have to keep reminding yourself that you are a great girl that deserves to have some great guy love you, regardless!!
Before that can happen though, you have to learn to love yourself before you can let someone else love you.
Good luck xxx
2007-02-18 08:28:06 · answer #6 · answered by anastacia500 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
it is low self-esteem. i used to be like that, always questionin myself when am told that someone (a friend or a guy) likes me. cos i couldn't see what they liked in me. but i had to learn to love and accept myself for who i am and accept when people say they like being with me and compliment me on something.
so learn to love and accept yrself for who u are. u are special, u are unique. u have a character that people like though u can't see it. be yourself. when people try to get close to u, allow them cos u have something that no one has, u are u. in this whole world, there is no one like u.
2007-02-18 08:39:03 · answer #7 · answered by rambo 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
you're just like me.I have the same problem just slowly try to accept yourself cuz you gotta get along with yourself before you can get along with someone else
2007-02-18 08:22:32 · answer #8 · answered by Jessica R 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
that is fear of getting hurt. i need to learn how to trust yourself with men that you like
2007-02-18 08:43:22 · answer #9 · answered by rjhamuk 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋