My ex-boyfriend and I have a 2 year-old-daughter together. I have full-custody, but during the weekends she goes by him. While he was finished Med-school. I covered everything, I paid for my daughter's tution (private day care) shelter, food, clothing and medical expenses, and it was agreed that upon working he would cover for everything outside being provided in the home. We had a perfect relationship together and he also paid $1500.00 in monthly checks.
Everything was fine, until his sister butted in and exclaimed to him that $1500 is more than enough to support our daughter, but now it's also supporting me. So she encouraged him to cut the $1500 down to $880.00. Ok, I didn't mind that at first, but then he decided that it should cover, her day care, medical expenses and food/clothing and began to shun us off. I was pissed. Pissed because I work full-time, attends to school right after and I now cover the majority of my daughter's needs.
Continued Below.....
2007-02-18 08:04:11 · 7 answers · asked by Akito_GunPak 1 in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Parenting
I tried to reason with him, and explain everything, but he believed that his sisters word was as good as gold. So he then began ignoring my calls until it was time for him to come see his daughter.
Anywho, after informing him about my lawyer we got legal papers together and child support estimates gathered and we got a total estimate of $4573.54 of monthly child support issuance. When he was informed I could see it upset him, and it also did upset me. I believe it is 17% of his income, but I did also find it to be too much, even though it was done by guidelines. So I tried to go once again and reason it to a lower estimate and then he informed me that he is going to get joint custody if he has to pay that much? and stormed off and told me I would be hearing from his lawyer. Now can he do that? and am I doing something wrong to lower it, or should I leave it at the $4573.54. Or what could I have done to avoid this in the first place?
2007-02-18 08:10:27 · update #1
Unfortunately he has every right to joint child support, but seeing as you provide for her daily needs the visitation will not likely change, you should be granted domiciliary custody, which means you share custody but she lives with you and you are in charge or all medical and schooling options, he just has to fund them. He may get to see her for a few weeks during the summer. Keep the child support as the lawyer says unless he chooses not to go through with the custody, otherwise inform him if he chooses so you can go back to your prior arrangement and you can pretend like this never happened.
2007-02-18 08:28:20 · answer #1 · answered by tylw85 4 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Child Support is court mandated and it's the law. He can be dramatic all he wants, too bad. The percentage is different depending on the state you live in. It's 21% where I live. The amount of child support it's determined off his net income.
My son's father tried to accuse me of using money for partying and so forth. All men think that's what your using it for. Basically it's to provide his daughter with a similar quality of living that he has. It wouldn't be fair if he thought his money could go towards his own lap of luxury while his daughter lives a a lessor standard of living that he does.
As far as joint custody, that's not a good idea for your daughter right now, it would be way too much confusion for your daughter. What you offer him is "joint parenting" and you still having full custody. The judge always decides on what is best for the child. Taking her from home to home on a half time basis would not be good. Unless you are deemed an unfit mother, you have nothing to worry about. Besides, he talks about joint custody just to get a rise out of you, it makes him feel like he has power.
2007-02-18 16:56:32 · answer #2 · answered by Jennifer 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Go through with getting a child support order entered ASAP and let the lawyers deal with figuring out the numbers. That's what they're there for.
Just because he asks for joint custody doesn't mean he will get it. It's a common threat made by non-custodial parents when their support obligation increases and very rarely does anything come of it. Talk to your lawyer if you are concerned, but it's probably nothing to worry about.
2007-02-18 16:35:05 · answer #3 · answered by CHBN 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Getting $1500 a month for one child is outragous.!! You are lucky to have gotten that....The average support for a child is $400-700 a month (at least here in Cali). The $1500.00 should have covered more than your childs expenses...but you should go to court and get an order, don't be surprised if you get alot less than $1500.00 though..I only get $100 per week from my sons father (child is 11) and his payments are court ordered and garnished from his check..good luck here.
2007-02-18 16:38:38 · answer #4 · answered by Christine 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Then let him take you to court. He should have been taking care of his obligations when you didnt make him! If he wants joint custody because of the money then that proves he isnt fit!
Children have to be provided for. It is his duty. Stand firm on the amount because that is the state's calculation, not yours. Too bad if he doesnt like it.
2007-02-18 19:21:31 · answer #5 · answered by an88mikewife 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
My ex hasn't bought so much as a packet of baby wipes let alone give me any money,
I think you are lucky to get that,
I can't work and have to live on benefits cos I know my ex won't pay his way.
The CSA in the UK are really bad and you never get any payments from absent parents
2007-02-18 17:10:35 · answer #6 · answered by Elle J Morgan 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think you should get a child support order done. They will calculate how much he makes, and give you a fair amount of money.
2007-02-18 16:22:00 · answer #7 · answered by chicata25 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋