I just came up with a good plan. I am having problems with my so called "bf" and havent spoke to him in about 2 days becasue he has been helping his baby mother find a place to live. I finally called him and replied saying oh so your phone do work. Then he replied saying what day is it. Now he is calling me back.I think I made a mistake becasue now I dont know if he is calling me becasue he wants to or because I called him. I figure since he dont see anything wrong with that to turn it over on him. I am thinking of when he call me back to tell him I am helping my ex do something. Do you have anything that can justify how I felt for the way he treated me? I know it wasn't long but 2 days and i was sick one day and called him text him and no reply. I didnt even know if he was still alive, or in jail or even the hospital. Please help
2007-02-18 07:42:38 · 21 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
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2007-02-18 07:57:26 · update #1
It sounds like you are feeling insecure about your relationship and possibly a little jealous too. You want more communication from him, and not because you ask for it, but because you want him to want to talk to you more. It sounds like you are tempted to play a game with him to try to give him a dose of his medicine or to make him feel jealous, but you are also afraid it may backfire.
No one can make you feel angry, sad, happy or loving unless you give them permission, and likewise, you cannot make anyone else feel angry, sad, happy or loving unless they give you permission.
You can feel anyway you choose to feel in response to what he does. If you take his actions personally and want to get angry, you will, but you cannot control him. In the short term you may be able to manipulate him into calling you, however his resentment will grow.
You can also choose NOT to take what he does personally, you can interpret his actions as a demonstration of who he is and choose whether or not you choose to be around that behavior. If he isn't giving you what you want and you keep wanting and not receiving what you need, then you have a choice....to accept the unacceptable or to seek the relationship you desire elsewhere.
A lot of people do enjoy the chaos and passion, insecurity and rerassurance and the ups and downs of an unfulfilling relationship. If you do, that's your choice. If you prefer a tranquil relationship with serenity and security, then you will need to make changes toward that goal.
Kind regards
2007-02-18 07:56:07 · answer #1 · answered by teach_empathy 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You know what? Since he is so busy with his child's mother then you get busy yourself. Go out with your friends have a good time (please don't cheat on the man because then it'll make you look bad)! Don't just tell him your with your ex to get back at him. Be a lady about it. Just make yourself unavailable for a day or two and let him know when he's ready to stop being an a** then give you a call. After he comes around and you hear the excuse he's going to give you then decide from there whether or not he's worth keeping. If he's doing other "things" with his ex besides helping her then you definitely know what time it is. Good Luck!
2007-02-18 07:54:35 · answer #2 · answered by diamoniquejazz 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Look when he calls you back you can't either hang up on him or keep your boy friend by closing your eyes and not making such a big deal! If I were I would just act like everything is fine and forgive him!
2007-02-18 07:47:40 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
As harsh as it sounds, drop him. If you can't even answer a text message there is something definitely wrong. He was obviously busy doing something he shouldn't be doing. Don't try to get even he obviously won't care. Save yourself the trouble and future heartache.
2007-02-18 07:47:56 · answer #4 · answered by Marcy 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Let him go girl. Any man that is still attached to his ex (beside dealing with her about the baby) deserves NO LOVE from you.
Go find another man that does not have other baby mama drama!
2007-02-18 07:47:28 · answer #5 · answered by pinaykezzes 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
hi dear
sorry to hear that
u do a righ thing to call him but u should know that u make a judgement before u know why!when sth like this happen try to be relax and when u are angry do not ask or answer.u can discuss this problem with him.and tell him u are concern about him and u dont like to be left uninformed.
i hope it will be solve and forget soon
2007-02-18 07:49:38 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
You need to give guys space. Sometimes it seems like they are straying but they always come back.
Don't worry about the phone call. He will get over it.
2007-02-18 07:49:31 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Give him a break, if he has a kid, it is #1, over it's mom, his family, and you. If he is helping the kids mom find a place to live, chances are he is helping his kid, which is very important, because no child should be without a roof over its head.
2007-02-18 07:47:31 · answer #8 · answered by egbkid 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I agree with your first 2 answers......and I feel there is something going on here with him......a lot more than he's telling you. I'm almost sure he's bad news, and is a waste of time. Think about it carefully........best of luck to you.
2007-02-18 07:52:27 · answer #9 · answered by cajunrescuemedic 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
wake up and smell the BS, you are not a girl friend your a booty call, just some b ithch he calls when he needs to bust a nut in some strange, dump him and find a guy with out a baby mother, it is amazing to me, so many blacks have kids out of wed lock they had to create a term for it, baby mother!! and you wonder why most blacks live in poverty!!!
2007-02-18 07:50:33 · answer #10 · answered by Sir Hard & Thick 2 · 0⤊ 2⤋