daughter 24 thinks she never met her dad cos we fell out when really havent a clue who he is should i tell her

Question

i used to be very sexually active but feel guilty when u see all the shows where the kids go looking for their dads years later as i dont know who her dad is

Answer 1

I believe it is best to tell her the truth. Start out by saying that you love her more than anything in the world. Let her know that you have been afraid to tell her about her father because you felt that she would think bad about you, and that it would just hurt so bad to know that you have disappointed her with your past. Everyone makes mistakes, but hiding them never works out for the best. Hopefully, she will be mature enough to realize how much you have loved her, and how hard it was for you to tell her, and she will not be disappointed or mad, but forgiving and understanding. Good luck...let us know how it goes...

Answer 2

1983 or so was the extension of the '60's when sexual activity was freed up. A lot of kids faced this new freedom WITHOUT any info re how to handle the freedom; how to insist upon birth control, or those kids who were afraid to ASK their parents and just relied upon peer's advice! You and your daughter are facing a not-too-uncommon situation. We adopted a baby girl when I was almost 30; her birth-mom found her through not-so-legal methods when she was 17! It turned out very well and my daughter insisted upon my going with her to meet the bio and her family! Something that I didn't really want to do! But she said, "You've GOT to come with me! You're my MOM!" Long story--if you're interested, write--but the Birth-mom finally told my daughter that she was 17, in the Berkeley '60's party group, was during a hot-tub party with drinking, and she doesn't know who the bio-dad was. My daughter accepted that and was freed up from trying to track him down! We both gained a lot from the experience! I learned later that my D and her girl friend went to the Health Dept and got contraceptives ON HER OWN, as a Senior in HS, as she couldn't tell me she was active. It was a shock, but I'm glad she did! She did NOT want to repeat her bio-mom's experience!

Answer 3

If you have a good relationship with your daughter, you should tell her the truth, explain what you were like and tell her you regret the way you acted back then but you cant change it. also tell her she was the best thing to come out of your behaviour then. If you can narrow it down to a few you can leave it to her to get a paternity test. Good luck

Answer 4

tell her the truth, she deserves to know. It will be devestating and she may lose some respect for you for a while but thats to be expected. Tell her the circumstances and that whilst you regret the way things happened you don't regret a single moment of her life.

Answer 5

i think u will need to tell her the truth as she may want to know his name so she can look him up 1 day n u wont know it so its best to come clean now she will get over it i am 41 yrs old not a kid giving silly advice lol . good luck.

Answer 6

It might be a hard thing to do but you have to tell her the truth, what if she decides to try and track him down?

Answer 7

You must tell her the truth - you will damage her more for lying to her and she will resent you for it. Tell her you had a fling and wanted to keep her and bring her up yourself

Answer 8

Would it come as such a shock? She's 24, I'm sure she's had one night stands.

Answer 9

i think you should just tell her, you dont have to tell her that you have had numerous sexual encounters just that you has a 1 night stand or something like that. your past is your past. xx

Answer 10

You know that you´re going have to talk to God. Whether you believe in Him or not. What you did wasn´t right young Lady ! Start praying maybe he´ll forgive you before he Judges you !