3 days ago i was given info that my father may have a condition in which he may die. now yesterday i talked to a friend of mine whos a doctor and he said mostlikely all my father will have to do is take saprin to thin his blood and he will be ok.
BUT!
when i got the nesw about my father, an hour after the news i started thinking about what i will do with his stuff! now about an houre after that i said to my self "dude what the F are you thinking!"
why would my mind tgo to some thing so seffish and negativeas that? i know i am a cold person but i did not think i was that cold!
what the F is wrong with me!
2007-02-18 05:15:22 · 22 answers · asked by Anonymous in Health ➔ Mental Health
there's nothing wrong with you, you're just preparing yourself for something that might happen.
2007-02-18 05:18:39 · answer #1 · answered by AJ 5 · 4⤊ 0⤋
As much as it sounds "heartless" to start thinking about what you will do with your dad's stufff after he is gone, you are also showing sings of remorse and good morals. So don't worry and don't stress about your thoughts, your mind is not trained so stay focused on one thought, it likes to wonder it is natural and it is also natural that it will wonder into the "bad" stuff too.
Sometimes when I go into a store I think of how easy it would be to steal something I like, but I've never stolen in my life and will not. It's just something you do.
I can't explain it, I'm not a proffessional.
Just remember to spend as much time with your father as you can before it is too late. Use this time wisely
I hope I helped you some what, and if you need more help you might want to talk to someone about it, bc you are obviously under a lot of stress
2007-02-18 13:22:56 · answer #2 · answered by <3 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Being prepared is not heartless. Because of this scare, your family should probably discuss and arrange for the future so that if something terrible should happen, the arrangements or wishes of the person are clear before disaster strikes.
I think we go into a self preservation mode when these sorts of things happen.
Better to be open and discuss these things while we are well so that we don't leave it to the ones we leave behind to take care of everything while they're grieving and distraught.
You are not selfish or heartless.
2007-02-18 13:44:18 · answer #3 · answered by cather2000 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Nothing's wrong with you - it's perfectly natural to think about such things, believe me. Oh, people don't like to admit it (and usually won't - I have to admire your honesty), but that's the way the mind works.
You got the news and you were stunned at first. But then, a little later, you started thinking about some of the possible consequences - such as what you would do with his stuff.
That's exactly how 99.99999999% of us would also react. I know - my Dad died about 10 years ago.
So relax - you may be a little "cold" ("I know I am a cold person"), but you're not anymore selfish or negative than the rest of us - promise.
2007-02-18 13:27:33 · answer #4 · answered by johnslat 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Maybe you didn't grow up to be very close with your father?
Did your mother or father encourage this cold logical thinking behaviour within you, during your childhood?
There's probably a few reasons why, but considering that you recognise this might be strange behaviour and realise it isn't perfectly normal - means you're not quite as callous as you fear?
It also might just be because the info from your doctor friend has allayed your fears of a sudden looming death by mentioning a good treatment - which made you relax more about the situation, and later, just naturally contemplated the more practical aspects of death. ?
I have issues with imagining the funeral of nearest and dearest - not because I'm callous, but because it scares me so much. We all react differently and quite unpredictably when faced with such personal challenges.
That's my take on it anyway.
Here's wishing yourself and your father well :)
2007-02-18 13:25:20 · answer #5 · answered by riffyxraff 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋
THE PRACTICAL PART OF YOUR brain is just thinking ahead attempting to at least plant the idea into your consciousness. on one level you are trying to deal with the news of your father, on another level you have begun to plan for worst case scenario and all that you must do to get thru this. I dont think it makes you a cold person. THe fact that youre asking about it proves that much. I also think that we have all done this to one degree or another. I think you'll be allright as will your dad, but if worse comes to worse it may turn out that you will be the one to have to deal with everything. and thats a heavy load to carry in and of itself. if this continues to plague you then you may want to discuss this with another family member.
2007-02-18 13:27:24 · answer #6 · answered by molly 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I don't think it;s cold or heartless. You were being a man and preparing yourself for your dad's death. It's ok to think about things like that.
What will happen to your father's possessions after he is dead?
Does he have a will?
Will you bury him or cream-mate him?
Will you buy a coffin?
Who will help you pay for the funeral?
Will you speak at his funeral?
Where will he be buried?
It's ok to prepare for your father's death and funeral (if you have been given the bad news that he is going to die). These are normal things to think about when you think/know a family member is going to die.
*hugs* and take care hunny
2007-02-18 13:22:31 · answer #7 · answered by Daft One 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It's normal. Thinking about losing your dad was too much to consider, so your mind focused on something less threatening. Some people laugh at funerals-not because they're happy-- it's a stress reliever.
2007-02-18 13:43:18 · answer #8 · answered by Violet Pearl 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You only got the terrible news three days ago, so you are probably in shock due to it. We all think things that we scold ourselves for, and try to change what we are thinking about.
I hope that your doctor friend is right, and that your dad will be fine very soon. Don't punish yourself, we all think things that we shouldn't--it's beyond our control.
2007-02-18 13:53:28 · answer #9 · answered by Holiday Magic 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It's human nature to think about claiming your fathers stuff if he died. You wouldn't want anyone else to enjoy the fruits of your fathers labours? Besides if you were thinking of selling it to turn a profit then perhaps yes you might be a redneck.
2007-02-18 13:20:13 · answer #10 · answered by Kill_Me_Now! 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You are being absolutely normal. We all tend to think, oh no and feel sad about a possible death and then (in the back of the head) or even upfront we think, wonder what I'm going to get out of this. Selfish, yes. normal, yes. We are all basically selfish.
2007-02-18 13:19:42 · answer #11 · answered by Mary G 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋