Replying to Wedding RSVPs?

Question

My Mom and I are getting ready to make up my invitations for my wedding in May and was wondering if it was "tacky" to have people RSVP via phone or email. We just think it might be easier for people to call or email us.

Thanks!

Answer 1

For the bridal shower I threw for my friend, I gave them the option of calling or emailing. This is OK for an informal occasion like a shower. However, wedding invitations are more formal, so you really do need to have them send back the invitation. I don't know if I'd call it tacky, but certainly out of the ordinary. Just my opinion...

Answer 2

There are a lot of RSVP companies out now that do just that. On The Knot (a major Internet wedding planning site), couples can have guests visit their website to RSVP online for the wedding. Also, there are companies that set up a telephone line where guests can call to RSVP. Just because something is traditional, doesn't mean you have to do that way. New technologies are making it easier to communicate in other ways. So if you want to add an option for guests to RSVP by phone or e-mail, I don't think it would be tacky at all, but I would still recommend you enclose a RSVP that gives guests the option to return their RSVP by mail as well since a lot of people are still traditionalists.

Answer 3

Just be grateful if the RSVP at all. It's not HOW they RSVP that's important-it's THAT they RSVP that is. The whole point is to get an accurate accounting of who will be there, and if you think that phoning or emailing will be easier for your guests, there's not a thing in the world wrong with that.

If I were you, I'd worry more about the people who don't bother to respond, then decide to show up at the wedding anyway.

Answer 4

Personally, I like the response cards, because I have a written card saying EXACTLY who is coming, not so with phone calls and emails can get lost. You just have 2 boxes, one for yes, and one for no. Granted, so can response cards in the mail, but still. And honestly, if you have a self-addressed, stamped envelope for the response card, that's honestly easier, because all the guest has to do is write their name, how many will be coming, and what they want to eat (if you're offering choices), then put the card in the envelope and run it out to the mailbox. Emailing they're going to have to get on the computer to do this, and phoning they're going to have to look up your phone number. I don't know if going that route would be "tacky," but I am questioning how practical it would be, and possibly would make more work for you in the long run.

Also, unless you're having a massively informal wedding, a response card is a more formal way to respond to a wedding invitation. Whenever I get a wedding invite w/o a response card, I assume it's more informal.

p.s. chefgril made an excellent point...if you have people call, some will want to talk for hours on end just to tell you they're coming.....nope, best have the response cards. Good luck!

Answer 5

RSVP reply cards are a fairly recent convention, and they were created because so many rude people would not RSVP. The proper way to RSVP is to write, on your own paper in your very own hand and place in an envelope affixed with your very own stamp, the following: Ms. Your Name and Mr./Ms. Your Partner's Name accept with pleasure the very kind invitation of Name of Person Who Issued Invitation for Saturday, the fourteenth of June [OR WHATEVER DATE] If you are unable to attend, you replace the second line with "regret that they are unable to accept." That's all. See how easy it is? Why did people ever have to be prodded to be polite? :)

Answer 6

An RSVP for a wedding is usually done by the return of a card. If you don't hear back from your guests by the day specified, call them to find out one way or the other if they will be attending. There are people who for whatever reason will not return the card. If you need a final count for your caterer, you don't want to assume that someone who hasn't responded isn't attending and then they show up.

Answer 7

Tacky or not, we did it. People appreciated the convenience of replying by telephone and email. We set up a special email account for the rsvps and saved all the emails until it was time to do our seating chart. We still included the Rsvp cards but aloowed people to reply either via snail mail or email. We only got 2 back by snail mail, everyon else used email.

Answer 8

Not for a wedding invitation, no. Remember your invitations are a reflection on yor day, if you dont send out those cards and instead say just email or call your response, you are saying to people "we dont care that much" Include the rsvp card WITH a stamped and addressed envelope, if you make it as easy for people as possible you will get a good return amount of those cards in your mailbox. Those that you dont get, you can call them and have them return your call (it will be too late for the rsvp cards to be mailed by then), but not until after your rsvp date.

Answer 9

An email option would be OK, I think. It's just that some people don't have email access. Definitely not phoning. Because they'll want to chat you or your mom's ear off for half an hour just to say two people are coming. The actual RSVP card would be the best I think.

Answer 10

I think for a formal invitation you should have response cards, but do what I did. I number each response card lightly in pencil on the back and kept a list of all the guests and their numbers. When I got a reply card I was able to easily find the persons name on the list according to the number and check them off, then I kept all the response in a index card box according to their numbers in case I had to go back for anything. It was also handy if someone forgot to put their name on the response card (which people do!) It also made it easier to figure out who hadn't RSVPed yet!