Should I participate in a cermony that is not of my religion?

Question

My niece's baptism is today. My family is Catholic but I do not consider myself so and haven't for many years. What is the protocol for people that are not of a particular religion attending the church? I am also a bit annoyed because my family is definitely not holy but wants to "keep up appearances," yet they seem angry with me for not being gung-ho about their hypocritical cermony.

Thanks for the advice. I will attend the cermony. You're right, it is for my niece. It's just that my family is the type that flips off people in the church parking lot and threatens fights, then comes in and pretends to be holy. I feel like this is all for show so it makes me extremely uncomfortable. But my niece is just a baby and doesn't know better. Thanks, you guys.

Answer 1

Unless you are being asked to be the godmother of the baby, you don't have to "participate" in the baptism beyond attending it. All you'll have to do is observe the baptism in the church, maybe bow your head and pray silently during a few parts of it (and since no one can read your thoughts, it won't really matter if you spend that time in prayer or think about American Idol). If there's a Mass before or after the baptism, don't take communion. Otherwise there's nothing that you'll be expected to do that would force you to go against your beliefs.

So do go - dress modestly, act respectfully, and remember that it is about your niece. I'm sure it is frustrating to see your family put on a facade of religiosity and then get on your case for not being Catholic. I have family members like that too and it can be a real chore to put up with them. But try to keep any drama or tension with them as far away from this event as possible. It's not your niece's fault that family members are hypocrites.

Answer 2

It looks like you're going to have to ignore how your parents feel about "keeping up appearances." You can go into the church, and just be yourself, with your own attitude. And there's nothing wrong with going into a church of a different religion. What's most important here, above all, is that your niece is getting baptized! =)

Answer 3

Good question.
The ceremony isn't hypocritical; the people are.
The Catholic church requires allegiance. If you aren't one of them they will not allow you to participate in their rites.
Since you have not been ex-communicated, you are still considered a Catholic in their eyes.
This is for your niece. You believed once. It would be a good thing for you to be present to support her- don't take communion unless you mean it.
forget the families' agenda- do this for your neice. Aunties don't always agree, but we can always love and support them.
Even babies understand this.
Go. Be blessed.

Answer 4

most ceremonies are about family....... are you close with your brother / sister.


there is no protocol........ dont miss a baptism. i am a godparent yet i havent been in a church in 4 years...... you dont have to be gung-ho.... but its Your Niece. just be happy for the family for now and be there for your niece and Brother/sister.

my grandparents were annoyed for years when my brother wasnt going to have a baptism. would it really be better for all if they didnt go through with the ceremony?

Answer 5

(Belated): The problem of many religions is the fact that they actually do require protocol. It is possible to remain ceremonial and agnostic at the same time. Besides, maybe you would just like to be there for the fams.

Answer 6

I used to go to jew events all the time with my freind. It was a cutural experience and no one tryed to preach at me like all the churches i have been to.If someone does preach to you tell them respectfully that you dont wish to be converted. I told that to an older lady, and she says: too bad hevan would have needed you. i said: i guess hell is going to have to need me. and all of the sudden she though i was the devil. little did she know that i had just spent the whole day before helping people like her at the retirement home.

Answer 7

I am an atheist, and I believe you should go... not to "keep the peace" but to offer to others the respect you, yourself, would like to be treated with. Go... be polite and respectful.... you don't have to believe to honor their beliefs. What our world lacks most is respect and acceptance.

Stand tall, do not betray yourself, and do not disrespect them. It is the best a person can do.

Answer 8

Well, Duh...! No-one's asking you to join their faith or to believe as they do!

I, too, am Catholic as is most of my family. Those who left the Church still attend family baptisms, confirmations and anniversary Masses for the deceased in our family. We are still family and we accept each other for who we are.

Take the high road, Dearie, and go and keep the peace. You won't regret it. It's not your day, its not your call, its not about you. No-one died and left you as judge.

Answer 9

This is what God describes in scripture as being "holier than thou hypocrites" who like to "play church".
God says they are like a smoke that gets into his nose and irritates Him all the day long.
Do you know what you do when smoke gets in your nose? You get rid of it.
Thats the Word of God; take it whatever way you wish.

p.s. The baptism of your neice is great, though;
I would be present, if you want to, for her.
I would not be very happy with some of the reasons for them baptizing her. Its not done so that we can keep up appearances.

Answer 10

You are a religion snob. Go and participate. This is for your niece, not you. Get over yourself and become mature.