Why don't people smile?

Question

I work in a bar, i give, from what my managers and customers have told me very good service. I smile at every single customer i serve. I may not be the best looking bar man in the world, but why is it that only 1 in 10 people smile back at me? Is it not just a matter of common courtesy to smile back at someone who smiles at you?

Answer 1

I don't understand it either.
I smile at random people as I pass them on the footpath, but very few people smile back at me. I'm not after anything, I just try to brighten up peoples' days. The elderly people and the occasional women smile back, but the rest just look at me in an odd way. I always smile at people who serve me in shops and bars etc, and about half of them smile back at me.

Manners seem to be a dated concept these days. Shame.

Answer 2

I'm sorry that you have to serve customers that rarely smile.
But one thing I can say is this;
When I go anywhere a shop, bar, restaurant etc and the person attending me smiles and is generally very pleasant I always take notice of that and it makes a huge impression on me. If someone is miserable and sloppy in the way they serve me that also makes a big impact on me. Basically I will ALWAYS return where I am served nicely, I think it's common courtesy if you are in the job of attending the public in some way. Call me old fashioned if you like, I don't care.
So my friend, you just keep doing what you're doing, smile and think maybe someone may not be smiling back but they may think that you are the nicest person they have met that day!!

Answer 3

I am a naturally smiley person and smile at most people, some people in the street probably think I'm a nutcase but I don't care. I live in the UK and have found that most people here are quite smiley.I have been told however that in London apparently it's not the done thing, and that the same goes for Paris and New York.

I agree that it is common courtesy to smile back at someone particularly if you are engaging with them on another level (i.e. a service transaction).

I also work in the service industry, and always say hello and smile at the customer, but very often get nothing in return, sometimes just a look as if I'm something they scraped off their shoe.

Answer 4

You arer right about returning a smile as a common courtessy but you are working in a bar, therefore the rules of business apply, not the rules of courtessy. You smile because you are being paid to give good service and this makes your employers like you and your customers like the company you work for.

They don't smile because they are customers and don't have to. If they were in a friend meets friend situation they would probably return a smile as the right thing to do. In a customer and supplier situation they are not required to return courtessies which may be given for business rather than personal reasons.

Lucky you were not working in a service industry 100 years ago at which time it would have been normal to address your customers as sir or madam too. Such is the inequality of the customer supplier relationship.

Answer 5

They don't smile because they are customers and don't have to. If they were in a friend meets friend situation they would probably return a smile as the right thing to do. In a customer and supplier situation they are not required to return courtessies which may be given for business rather than personal reasons.

Answer 6

well its england nearly everyone walks around with long faces because there is always something wrong like the weather, they dont like something, something has gone wrong at home, money or anything really it is nothing to do with you at all mate its just peoples own lives. So dont worry too much and maybe try getting a job in another bar in another area or come to Spain its a lot easier over here and people always walk around with a smile always say good morning or good afternoon or whatever and are 9 times out of 10 never miserable. The English act in the same way and as long as you come to the right part of Spain (costa del sol (southern)) the Spaniards will welcome you and will try and get along with as best they can. Also for the bar you're already in try sprucing it up with something aswell like happy hour and things or karoke nights and things that will get people to liven up a bit. Normally works and should put a smile on their face because they're making fools of themselves most of the time so they have a laugh! Hope you have some joy with this information and good luck to you mate!

Answer 7

It is a courtesy for sure. I guess in your line of work most customers
would expect you to smile almost as part of your job description - so mostly don't bother themselves.
Don't let that put you off - a smile lights up the world - you look and feel better for it. The difference between a smiling face and one not smiling is a million miles apart. I often see the most 'plain' face change into a radiantly attractive face just by a smile.
Keep it up we need more smilers in the world.

Answer 8

Good on you - smile and the world smiles with you (just maybe not in your bar!). Don't worry, nothing to do with how you look I'm sure, some people are just rude. I also work in a bar and get the same reaction, very few smile or indeed say thank you, but keep going.

Answer 9

I brought this up at a group meeting only last week. A smile costs nothing. If you smile and say hello to the barman, then he is more happy in this work. He smiles back, thus making the customer happier, and hence the whole pub is a better place to be.
But people nowadays have not been brought up with manners, or knowledge of common courtesies. Their thinking is....they are paying you for the drink, so get on with it.
The world is becoming a sadder place purely because of a lack of understanding of a simple principle.

Answer 10

Some people are just rude - I have worked in pubs etc and would never dream of not smiling at customers but some are just stuck up twats who have nothing better to do with their time than be rude to staff serving them.

I had a really rude customer in once who tried anything to get me to loose my temper with him but I kept quiet and did my best to serve him (we had run out of something on the menu) and offered him solutions to his problems all with a smile on my face. He was a middle aged man in a suit who should have known better (think he actually works for the police) and he sat in the corner snogging some woman (who was also very rude to the barstaff). I turned to the person I was working with and said ' i bet that isnt his wife'.

I also worked part time in a nail bar at the time. A few weeks a lovely, polite woman came in to get her nails done and she was one of those customers that is really easy going and an absolute pleasure. Her husband came to pick her up and this turned out to be this man that was rude to me. Well did he bend over backwards to make sure I had a good tip!!!!! (not that I would have ever said anything to his wife - she was a nice person who didnt deserve that lowlife but there is no point upsetting someone I dont know)

Karma - all rude customers should remember that!!!

Answer 11

OK so you work in a bar where you get paid to smile at people, if you didn't get paid would you still smile at them?
The fact is you should not smile at someone just because you are obliged to or because you want them to smile back at you. You should smile because it makes you feel better about yourself, you should be happy with the fact that you are at least being polite and giving these a people a good service.
Don't worry about what they do back, some people just don't have much to smile about that's all!!
xxx