I am 14 and will be entering High School this year. Sometimes I feel sad about it because I think that I am scared to grow up and I don't know why. I have never had a boyfriend and I am pretty shy but I just don't feel ready....is that normal for my age? Sometimes I think that I am not acting like my age because I like hanging out with my parents. But I do also love hanging out with my friends. I don't know why I feel this way. Is it just High School jitters? Who had their first boyfriend in High School (not in middle school)? Whenever I do think about when I do get a boyfriend I can't imagine how I am going to act around him because I am very shy. But when you do find someone you really like don't you come out of your shyness?
2007-02-18 02:54:58 · 21 answers · asked by ~ ♥ ~ 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
hi i just turned 15 so i thought i might be able to help... okay i am the same way i love hanging out with my parents and also my friends 2...this is pretty normal though because a lot of my friends give up time to spend with their parents.. and i am still very uneasy and shy around guys...but i can assure you that you will like high school and if you can be yourself and have fun with that guy.. you will knw that he is right for you.. hope this helps and good luck in high school
2007-02-18 03:03:31 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
My first boyfriend was my freshman year, we dated for an entire month and only talked on the phone (maybe 2 dates). I then dated another guy for a month and finally my junior year I met my first real love. I was (and am) a lot like you. I have my friends but I also like spending time with me parents. You will find it odd because many of the people that are your age HATE their parents and think they are morons. I went through friends, some were there for me during the hard times but most of them weren't. The one thing that I came to find out is that your parents will ALWAYS be there for you. They don't care if you're popular or if you wear nice clothes. They don't judge you based on the people you hook up with or the lunch table you sit at. Your parents may be two of you best friends. When I got into college I was in my psych class and our teacher asked us who had a close relationship with their parents. I was the only person to raise my hand. I wasn't embarrassed, I was actually happy. Not everyone can say they know their parents as well as I do. So, in the end you're not abnormal or weird. Some of us just find comfort in the people that provide us with comfort. Good luck in high school, the 4 years will go by way quick and you'll actually look back and miss it. I know I did.
The shy part: I've come to realize that you're not shy around the people that make you comfortable. So, if you're shy then you're not comfortable...
2007-02-18 11:01:13 · answer #2 · answered by JC 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think what you are feeling is completly normal, I can relate to you a lot. I was never very social in school and didn't start dating until I was 15 or 16. It might seem bad right now that you like to hang out with your parents but I think the fact that I liked to be around older people when I was that age resulted in becoming a very responsible young adult!
Don't be affraid to grow up, there is so much to look forward to! Coming out of shyness isnt quite that simple, for me I have to hang out with the same person a couple times until I feel comfortable enough to be myself and not so shy, just give it some time :)
2007-02-18 11:00:54 · answer #3 · answered by Sara 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Perfectly normal for you to feel this way..You are about as normal as normal can get. Hanging out with your Parents is a VERY goodthing, don't stop it. but continue to have friends. Everyone has jitters about going to High School. There are hundreds of kids going for the first time like you and will have the same feelings. Just go and you will be fine. The boyfriend thing will come in time...Maybe too soon. A LOT of people didn't have their first Boyfriend/Girfriend until High School.. Just be TRUE to yourself, and don't compromise your morals and you will be fine...Good Luck
2007-02-18 11:03:30 · answer #4 · answered by WOLFMAN 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
first of all, don't worry. I'm 14 and entered high school this past fall. High school isn't really that big of a change from middle school so don't stress. There's gonna be tons of more guys on the plus side! Even if your shy, there are shy guys out there. Just relax because theres gonn abe some new guys that you haven't met and some guys you forgot that you knew. Just take it easy. Test yourself. Everyday give yourself a challenge to be a little more outgoing, and before you know it, the boys will be all over you. I am 14 and I love hanging out with my parents and siblings. It's completely normal even if it seems that your friends don't do it-trust me, they do! Relax, and you'll do fine!
2007-02-18 11:00:04 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sweetie, please don't stress! I know that nowadays it's considered 'normal' to be considered mature at a young age or grow up fast, but be who you are! The images you see on t.v. tell you that something is wrong with you if you don't do certain things, or act a certain way, or dress in this or that, but they are WRONG.
Don't do anything before you are ready. There are a lot of young women out there now who will tell you that if they had a chance to do it all over again, they would take their time in growing up. Life is a journey, enjoy every step, and don't rush anything. Take your time to find out who you really are without the complication of a 'boyfriend' and that even bigger problem of peer pressure.
I think it's cool that you not only respect your parents, but you LIKE them. Don't let anyone make you think that it's not. In due time, you'll begin to extert your own independence little by little and find your own interests outside of the family. That's NORMAL. There is no set timeframe for when you should do what, it differs from person to person.
Don't allow anyone to compromise that inner voice within you that tells you when something is right or wrong. Listen to that voice and follow it. It will keep you out of trouble every time.
And for the record...I didn't have my first boyfriend until I was a SENIOR in high school. It was a good relationship and I wasn't 'damaged goods' as a result of it. I learned a lot from him and we were the best of friends. I hope that your first relationship is as good and that you are able to maintain your sense of self. It's good knowing who you are for yourself without others defining you.
Good Luck in high school, have fun, and keep those grades up!
2007-02-18 11:13:25 · answer #6 · answered by moe497 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you like spending time with your parents, great. If that's what you like, why not?
Don't worry yourself gay about being shy--many people are. Don't get too worried about 'rejection'---if you've chosen wisely, then it's probably HIS shyness! It could also be he has his eye on another girl--it may sound absurd, but you could help set him up. If he gets rejected, you can try for him again on the rebound--he'll may think you're his new best friend--you can 'innocently flirt the pants off from him'. Things may or may not work out the first boyfriend or two, etc.--don't get too upset about it, just enjoy the experience and move on!
To help with the initial introduction, try getting help from friends to pass on a message--use sarcasm/humer, etc. it will take the edge off if he passes the first time around. You can get friends to help by first help them get introduced.
Networking for dates is a life skill. Even adults struggle with this--it's important to practice and get functionally good at it. If you maintain a healty attitude you'll have a blast!! (But don't get out of control).
The thing about it is this---it can be dissappointing and it can be very fun! It has it's ups and downs, but that's life. It's a game and there are many things that you need to learn.
Use lots of humer and loving sarcasm--they are GREAT social tools. Think about it, aren't the most sociable people full of s**t? YOU CAN BE, TOO;)!!! Have fun!!!
2007-02-18 11:25:56 · answer #7 · answered by Jeff W 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You are dealing with two problems, fear of high school and that new environment and not having a boyfriend. The boyfriend problem can wait. Get into school, make new friends and just be yourself. Some nice boy will notice your quiet ways and let you know that he's interested. Don't rush the boys, they will come around.
2007-02-18 10:59:53 · answer #8 · answered by mamabear1957 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yes its totally normal to feel like that when you are starting a new school and a new phase in your life. Being shy isn't anything to worry about. The mhe more comfortable you get the more you will come out of your shell. Enjoy the new expeiences you are about to have and while it will be scary and at times overwhelming it is a great time in your life so try to sit back and enjoy it.
2007-02-18 11:02:58 · answer #9 · answered by hotmamainmi1982 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i used to be in the same spot as u...i was really shy and dreaded high school..i still do and im still shy but once i met the guy that i love now i just felt comfortable enough to be myself around him and my shyness was gone and there is no problem with not having a bf yet....ull find someone...and when u do im sure that ull be shy at first but the more time u spend with them the more comfortable u are
2007-02-18 10:59:48 · answer #10 · answered by hermione3291 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋