We all know about upper hands in a romantic relationship...but how about a friendship? This girl and I get along great, and I really like her as a friend, but I always get the feeling that she's trying to get the "hand" in our friendship...it's really frustrating because it's a friendship...is she trying to go after something more? Or is she just nuts? Cause even though I really enjoy chilling with her, I always get the feeling that she wants to be the one in charge....anyone heard of this before?
2007-02-18 01:42:18 · 10 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
Yes and unfortunately this is not a uncommon problem.You have two choices #1.end the relationship because keeping things the way they are and your rightfull problem with it will eventually cause a confrontation that will destroy the relationship.#2.Accept what she is doing and be content being the passive member of the relationship.Which in itself could cause problems if at some later time you want to do something and she doesn't and a confrontation over that could leave both of you with hard feelings for each other.I know that at this time you are just FRIENDS but should it evolve into something more serious all kinds of problems will happen.
2007-02-18 01:54:57 · answer #1 · answered by hjbergel 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well some women have bee so hurt in previous relationships that the only way they can make themselves feel better or in control of their lives is to have the upper hand. Sit her down and tell her how much it bothers you and that you love her to death but its really hurting your feelings. If you can talk it out you will feel better and keep treating her like she is your best friend. The key to a good relationship is communication. Take care Heather
2007-02-18 09:49:50 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
No...the only place I've heard of people trying to get the "upper hand" is in games. I've never heard of a healthy relationship where someone has to have the "upper hand". Now, either you think relationships are games, or you suffer from some sort of "small penis" issue in that you think YOU should be in charge all the time.
Let me hip ya to something, somewhere down the road when you get married....it AIN'T gonna be HER begging for sex, sleeping on the sofa, or bringing YOU flowers when she did something wrong...it'll be YOU, face it dude, THEY ARE IN CHARGE.
2007-02-18 09:50:54 · answer #3 · answered by knottygaboy 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sounds to me she is a control freak. That is just a saying to help you understand. There is NO upper hand in a relationship whether married or just dating. IF this turns out to something more serious, can you see the outcome? Think about it, AND if it turns out to something more serious, I guarantee you that you will not stay together very long with this kind of attitude with her.
2007-02-18 09:53:48 · answer #4 · answered by Ex Head 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
There is no need for an upper hand in any repationship. I have been married 29 years we are best friends. So chill dont let it worry you see where it goes.
2007-02-18 09:46:21 · answer #5 · answered by yahooisawastofspaceremoveme 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
She and you might have control issues. Understand it for what it is. If you are willing to have a constant issue with this girl, go for it! Otherwise, it sounds like she isn't a very good friend.
2007-02-18 09:46:33 · answer #6 · answered by altes_jan 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yeah, I've experienced it loads of times before.
How good friends are you two?
If you feel frustrated or annoyed about this, maybe you should tell her.
It worked for me :)
2007-02-18 09:46:46 · answer #7 · answered by nomnom 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
some people just want to be in control either live with it or move on its just her way
2007-02-18 09:48:34 · answer #8 · answered by workin_man66 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
don't think more & deeply dear . do it what yor heart say.
2007-02-18 09:46:42 · answer #9 · answered by Udit D 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
thats just how girls are, they like to be :)
2007-02-18 09:47:01 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋