hOW LONG DOES IT TAKE FOR THE TIME OUT METHOD TO WORK?

Question

I have been using the time-out method with my son since he was18months old. He is now two and a half and he still doesn't seem to be getting it. I'm at a loss. Has this method worked with anyone else's toddlers? I am starting to consider the other discipline option but I can't bring myself to spank him. any idea's?

I've been following the method exactly so I have been keeping him in the timeout for the right amount of time.

Answer 1

try the petticoating method

Answer 2

It might be the amount of time you are sending him to time-out. When he does something bad, like pulling the kitty's tail after you've told him not to, send him to time-out for 2 minutes (his age). Any time he tries to get up, argues with you, etc, add a minute. Then reflect on why what he did was wrong. He needs to understand why, otherwise he'll just continue to do te same things over and over.Hopefully he'll soon understand that he can't walk all over you because YOU are the mommy. Then reflect on why what he did was wrong. He needs to understand why, otherwise he'll just continue to do te same things over and over.

If that doesn't work, there are still other alternatives to time-out. Take away his favorite toy for a day. Take away television. Basically, take away something that he really wants.... he'll soon understand that he won't get to have fun if he misbehaves.

If that doesn't work.... there's nothing wrong with a swift smack on the butt. Just use your hand, not a belt or anything else. As long as you don't beat your child, spanking is not child abuse.

P.S. Make sure you give him warnings too. He might just think you're all talk.... say, "Johnny, if you don't stop pulling kitty's tail, I will have to take away your dump truck for the rest of the day." Make sure he understands you, and then if he does it again, stay true to your word.

Answer 3

There are so many other options. I used to take away one of my son's favorite toys for a set period of time. The favorite toy would go up on a top shelf for an hour, or for the rest of the day. That way he could see it and it would help him remember what happened and why he is not allowed to play with that toy right now. He's 10 now and I still use that same concept, only now he loses the right to play video games for a day. In my opinion time out works best to get a kid to calm down and get back where he can listen to you. (Works for parents too!)

Answer 4

I've got an almost 2.5 year old, and time out has been successful for me (we started at two). In the beginning it wasn't working for me, mostly because the one minute per age thing wasn't working. I think at this age they have a limited attention span so it's easy for them to instantly forget or get distracted, especially in the midst of a tantrum, about what the problem is and how to correct it. This is how I tailored it for my daughter - rarely does she stay in time out for even a minute. She is expected to sit down in a chair, calm down, and say three things: sorry (person or pets name), the simple rule (ie no hitting, or we don't hit, scream, etc), and the correct behavior (gentle touching, gentle talking, etc) Then I excuse her and we get on with things. Time outs used to happen all day and all night. I spent a lot of positive reinforcement time about proper behaviors (ex. "see this is gentle touching" pet cat "look how nice, you do that so well") Repetition of my expectations sunk in and we're down to one or two time outs a day. Now she corrects her behavior right away and tells me why and shows me whats right so she doesn't get sent to the chair. Anyway, this is just my experience and it's probably obvious but I hope it gives you some other ideas.

Answer 5

It depends on the child. my youngest daughter and my oldest son do very well in time out but, my 3 year old and my younest son (my 2 middle children) wont stay in time out. my son is really too old now but when he was young enough he wouldnt stay and my 3 year old wont stay. It takes me over an hour of putting her back and by the time were done we are so exausted that the whole reason she was put there to begin with is lost. instead I take a toy away from her when shes naughty, and when shes good she gets a toy back. this works well with her although when I first started doing it she screamed.
good luck.

Answer 6

It depends on the child whether it will work or not. They say 1 minute for every year they are. So a 2 yr old would sit in time out for 2 min, 3 yr old 3 min, and so on. Good luck

Answer 7

Time outs may be far more affective when children are closer to 4 years of age. (( It depends mostly on the child initial response to distraction and refocus.)) We used a timer and set it to DS age. 4 min. 4yrs, 5 min. 5yrs. ((Rarely have to use it just have to point or suggest "do I need to get the timer".))

Usually removal from the situation, or negative behavior works best, with a gentle 'no', "do not throw sand, it hurts joey." When ds calms have him return to routine, if negative behavior again. remove again, 'no'. And find something else to entertain him.

What works best for us is to down play the bad moments as much as possible. (This is done in an effort to NOT reinforce negative behavior with attention.)
Praise and reward good behaviors as often as possible. (eg. "That was nice of you to share your toy truck w/ joey.", "I like the way you're playing quietly." " I like the way you cleaned up your toys", "I like the way you listened the 1st time.")

Time out for favorite toy... is very affective too. 'no Thomas Train for 4min.' ds would cry, this was fine for the few min. as it became easier ea. time, thereafter.

good luck and hang in there... you sure to find the combination that works for you guys. Just try to remember to be consistent and always follow through.

Answer 8

2 is still really young for them to understand the concept of time out! But as long as you are being consistant, keep trying! He will start to realize that is not a good thing or not want to go to time out!
I have a 4 year old, she never has responded well to time out! She does however respond to having toys taken away, or thrown away (not really but she thinks they are). I don't like to spank either, but sometimes it is necessary.

Answer 9

a time out isn't a hard and fast discipline technique with clear results.
a time out is just that, a break from whatever was going on. it is a time for a child to calm down so that a behavior pattern or cycle is interrupted. as they grow older, they should use the time to also reflect on WHY they received a time out and be able to discuss it.

for a toddler, just watch to see how long it takes him/her to calm down. then sit with your child, explain why the behavior was wrong, and what you expect from him or her. then let them go. a time out ISN'T punishment, it ISN'T a structured discipline for particular results. it is a tool for the both of you to use in teaching behavior skills. don't expect too much of a tool, right?

as far as 'the other discipline option', i assume you are referring to spanking. your child is just at the very beginning of life and at two and a half is only now able to see himself as a person in a world of other people. spanking is punishment, not discipline. do you want to punish a child for experimenting to see how to live his life? that's what a two year old is doing... experimenting to see what happens.

the primary key to having well behaved children, in my opinion, is to show them proper behavior. you can re-direct him, give him options, model appropriate behavior yourself, etc.

good luck, and i'm glad you are such a concerned parent.

Answer 10

Till there 18, or spanked.

The other thing you can do is any time you see or hear something bad happen on the news just shack your head and see what happen when little ryan did not do his time out" that house burnt down", or a kid die in a car crash, or Iran is going to atack us, glare at him and ask who fault is it??

Answer 11

we hvn't used it but supernanny says it is one minute per year of age - so it wud be 2.5 mins for ur kid. sometimes it is like, our patience runs out and only 'spare the rod and spoil the kid' works.