if anyone has similar experience and can help me out...im in a relationship with my man who is 18 yrs older. there are years between us but we can do absolutly anything together. all our interests are the same, and what we like in life, and future prospects etc. we love each other very much and i cant imagine not seeing him...my family have talked to him as well, and the only fault they found in him was his age, and well they basically reminded me of - the fact that we wont grow old together, il be watching him growing old, when im in my 40s and he in 60s i may not find him attractive anymore or his health declines.etc and this worries me and basically im at a loss ... i dont want to hurt him ..if anyone can , ( i dont know if im explaining right ) guide me from thier own experiences? healthwise he is fitter than 20yr olds..he is a marathon runner and is a boxer and i watch him kick *** of the 28 yr old he spars with! sweeet =)
2007-02-18 00:43:02 · 13 answers · asked by maria01 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
HI there
I'm married [5 years now] to a Guy that's 24 years younger than I am....we've been together for 7.5 years & couldn't be more suited in any way....I'm 51 & he's 27. Ok I don't look my age & certainly don't act it but at the end of the day it's not age differences that cause relationships to fail Honey....You do realise don't you that whomever you bring home to be "viewed" will be "nit picked" in some way by your family....you've already pointed out the answer to any of their "fears" [if that's the right word] by saying that your Man is fit & looks after himself, so I don't think you need to worry that he's suddenly going to turn into some feeble old Guy that's gonna need regular bedpans brought to him by you. He's doing what most people in their 20's don't do....he takes responsibility for his health.
Babe. Cut your Guy some slack here & you as well, surely you're not going to allow a few comments [off the cuff ones at that] about your Man being older than you & ruin what seems to be a promising future for you both.
I have seen 28 yr olds that are really 65 in their attitude & even the way they live their life...I 've known many "young" people that don't want to go out anymore...are quite happy to sit & just get fat & unfit & let their youth go down the drain.
Your Man has already done his youth but he knows better than any younger person that he wants to hold on to it for as long as possible. The only way he can do that is if he continues to be as he is now....so many are more than content [lazy] to allow old age to come with all the negative sides that are attached to it....but there are those [your man included] that are not happy to just sit back & wait for God...they're out there enjoying life, keeping fit & young too.
Don't fall for the image that's given to people just because they happen to be a bit older than those still in their 20's & without sounding rude to your family...I reckon by them having the attitude about your Guy getting old while you watch just goes to show what they expect for themselves in their future...your Guy as fit & healthy & strong as he is...isn't expecting anything in his older age, he's going out there & making what he wants to happen to him in his 60's & I can totally relate to that.....ignore what others have to say [unless it's a warning of danger of course] & go & get with the Guy that obviously makes your heart miss a beat....like all younger relationships are happy & content...or all young people are drop dead gorgeous...yea! okay.
Come on Babe...if you find him gorgeous now & you continue to love him...why the hell are you suddenly going to find him unattractive just because he reaches 60 or 70. That's got to be the most stupid reasoning I've heard in my life.
Go get him girl & be happy together...if anything will cause your relationship not to work it will be you listening too much to other peoples personal views.....
Good luck & be happy ♥
2007-02-18 11:02:10 · answer #1 · answered by Funky 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Why is a 20yr old guy hanging out with a 15yr old? I had relationships like that when I was younger and when I look back now I think, what losers! How did no one stop that?! I know at 15 you think you are all grown up and know everything but the truth is that you don't. Would it be ok for a 14 yr old boy to make a girlfriend out of an 8 yr old? Why not? Cause the 8 yr old is to young! Mentally there is a huge gap between you two right now. Finally, he might not be a pedo but any sexual relationship with you would be statutory rape. In several states your parents don't even have to complain - if someone else notices he is in big trouble! He would be arrested and tried as a rapist and he would be put on the sexual offender registry - for life. He should recognize this and it should be enough for him to stay away from you, the fact that it isn't shows what an ignorant looser he is. Why is he hanging out with a girl? I'm not saying that there is something wrong with you or that you don't deserve the affections of a guy and I DO understand that most high school boys are immature dweebs who are to scared to talk to a girl much less develop a relationship. Just don't let yourself be used by this dude. In 10 years you will understand what I am saying!
2016-03-29 01:09:40 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I am 15 years older than my fiance and there are times I have wondered if he might be happier with a younger woman since I am at an age where the percentage of having children is not good. We have discussed this issue in great detail and he says he loves me no matter what and having children doesn't matter to him. The moral of the story is...make sure that you have communicated with him on all levels about these kinds of issues so they won't come back to haunt your relationship down the road. I wouldn't stress over the "when I'm in my 40s he'll be in his 60s" thoughts. Life is very precious and you never know what the future holds. Our looks and our lives can be taken at any time and at any age. If you love him and he loves you....then go for it and enjoy the moment. Live for today because the past is behind you and the future has not happened; you can not control either of them. Take a leap of faith and don't worry about the 'what ifs' of the age gap.
2007-02-18 02:49:41 · answer #3 · answered by crzynluv 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I am currently in a relationship with a man 20 years older than me and i couldnt possibly ask for anyone different. We also have the same interests and such. Everyone says the thing about the age difference but if you guys love each other, then it doesnt really matter. Live your own life, dont let people live it for you.
2007-02-18 01:03:34 · answer #4 · answered by Randi :) 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I'll make this precise...you love him and he loves u too, you have a great time together and share alot so as long as you've still got that and the age difference doesn't bother you don't ruin it. Plus hes met your family and they are not telling you leave him only pointing out afew stuff that they probably think you should consider, but if you are alright with the whole thing they will probably be ok with..usually thats were the problem lies when u think you might have to choose btn him and the family....so don't ruin it just let it roll.
2007-02-18 01:24:13 · answer #5 · answered by JAM - Emotions 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
My first husband was 40 when I was 20. We got along great. I still think about him. It was not the age that broke us up, it was his drinking. It's not the quantity of time, but the quality. If you guys are happy together, don't ruin it because 'society' doesn't accept it or you are worried about something that hasn't happened yet. Wouldn't it suck if you broke up with him, found someone you were not quite as interested in yet closer to your age, then he died in a car accident 10 years later? The future is unpredictable, go with your instinct.
2007-02-18 01:05:52 · answer #6 · answered by 5571 1 · 4⤊ 0⤋
i was with someone for 11 years he was 14 years older than me (me 43 now him 57 now)...at first we shared the same interests, we did everything Together, we settled into a family life with BOTH our kids.... we had a good healthy strong relationship but as time went by he stopped doing things like going out, sharing his time with me, he had no motivation, no get up and go, no energy, really he just couldn't be bothered any more, basically he got set in his ways he said he was too old for all that stuff, age means nothing but if you can withstand this relationship then go for it...keep doing what your doing and keep him happy
2007-02-18 00:59:10 · answer #7 · answered by Dazzlebox 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
My first husband was 17 years older than me. I was 16 he was 33 and divorced.At first there was no problems at all. We had three kids.
Then when I got to my 30's he was ready for the pipe and slippers routine and i wasn't. Thats when the real problems started and we eventually divorced after 20 years together.
2007-02-18 00:53:58 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
I dated someone 24 years older than me one time. I can guarentee you that you will be alone when your older if you stay with him. You mention 40 and he is 60. What about when your 60, in your prime and golden years. he is going to be 80. You will spend your time taking care of him or watching him deteriate and your in your prime.
2007-02-18 00:56:10 · answer #9 · answered by nurselaura2005 2 · 3⤊ 1⤋
well my lady is over 20 years younger than me and yes i have thought of all of those things --- i also look at the fact that we are now living longer and healthier than ever ----- and its all immaterial --- i can not conceive of being without her for the rest of my life ---- i know it sound selfish --- im not looking for a nurse or a companion --- im looking for a wife for a lover for a friend the fact that she is a lot younger than men is not a factor we consider ---- best wishes to you both (ohhh she is over 20 as well)
2007-02-18 00:55:17 · answer #10 · answered by Waterdragon 7 · 3⤊ 0⤋