My father made me and my mothers life HELL. He was a drunk bully who used to beat my mom and cheat on her. He left us for another woman while mom was dying in hospital. That was 8 years ago and I havnt seen him since. Now hes found me and wants a relationship with me. I hate him and cant stop thinking about the bad things he did to my mom.
2007-02-18 00:29:23 · 15 answers · asked by *Tara* 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
Honestly, I would want to hear what he has to say. If there's some evidence he's changed his ways and/or is sorry, then you might have some room in your life for him.
On the other hand, you have no obligation towards him in my opinion. You owe him nothing.
Blood is not always thicker than water-my own dad taught me that.
Whichever way you go on this one, you owe it to yourself to forgive him. Carrying that hatred and bittnerss in your heart will eat away at you and grow into something ugly.
2007-02-18 00:33:56 · answer #1 · answered by Tavita 5 · 2⤊ 0⤋
You will need to resolve the past if you have any future contact with him by telling him how awful you felt that he was and how he made you and your moms life a living hell. You need to be able to release these feelings anyway , for they have probably been pent up in you for a long time. Do not hold back any of your feelings when you speak with him about how you really felt. If he is sincere or has changed, he will do whatever necessary to show you and if he hasn't changed, then you have been able to release some hatred that you have had in your heart, which has probably been preventing you from having healthy relationships.
2007-02-18 00:39:31 · answer #2 · answered by myleshunt 4 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Everyone does things in there lives that come back and slap us in the face,and it looks like this has happened here.Based on what as happened in my life,i can only say what i would do which is, tell him that because of his behavour in the past you would rather not keep in contact,but if he was to leave an address you will time to time drop a line or a photo. That way if he causes any trouble you can give the police his address,other than doing this you can just say no,after all it is your choice.
2007-02-18 01:53:30 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
If his intentions are to make up for all the lousy things he's done, you have to decide if you have the desire and need to forgive him. Unfortunately, I don't see a drunk bully, wife beater and cheater turning his whole life around in 8 years.
2007-02-18 00:35:34 · answer #4 · answered by Debra D 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Go with your gut feeling.. Maybe you can establish a relationship in a few years.. Has he quit his drinking? If the both of you could try some counseling(at his expense).. maybe things might be worth working out at a later time and date.
2007-02-18 00:34:00 · answer #5 · answered by xjaz1 5 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Its up to you but I personally wouldn't want him anywhere near me, men like that never change, you have obviously been able to cope without him so why would you need him now, i take it your mummy has now passed away and she would turn in her grave if she thought that man was anywhere near you, you should maybe speak to your doctor about some councelling to help you get over your past
Good luck in whatever you decide
2007-02-18 03:50:47 · answer #6 · answered by ✿Regina Felangie✿ 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Talk to him after all his still your dad. No matter how bad you hate him his blood still runs in you.If he has truly changed and you want to give him a chance it's okay but if you don't want to it's okay.Yes you have every reason to hate him but two wrongs can never make a right.
2007-02-18 00:45:21 · answer #7 · answered by Sunshine 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You should buy a book titled "Almost Lost". The story is almost like yours and it's a true story about depressed boy name Sammy. Try it! You'll understand how to handle situations.
2007-02-18 00:34:35 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
This is hard but you've got to find out why your father did this to his family. why he left? what was so hard for him? To make you either understand why he left or to help you to forget about him. Talking to him will make everything clearer in your eyes. Life will make its own decision. Good Luck
2007-02-18 00:42:52 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
well honest you now oldnest to ask ?,, first you need to tell him how you feel,,you got every right to feel the way you do,, but it time to put the past be hind you, face him, tell him, how much harm he done,, maybe ask him why, he did the thing to you, for untill you get it out, you can never move on with your life
2007-02-18 00:53:44 · answer #10 · answered by ghostwalker077 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋