I'm a big, African American girl; I am a size 16. For a while now, I have been believing that no matter what size I am, I will always be beautiful. Recently however, my friend told me that I should re-think that saying, because we live in a(not to offend anyone) 'white' America, and that in America, Big is not beautiful. I haven't had a boyfriend, or a girlfriend, in a long time now, and I'm starting to wonder if my size is the problem. I am a nice, shy person, so I don't think that its my attitude that's scaring people away. Can anyone give me any advice...serious advice.
2007-02-17 18:44:22 · 12 answers · asked by sassy_playmate2003 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
Beauty is in the eye of the beholder. I'm white in America, and and been everything from 109 lbs to 150, and there's always someone who thinks my body shape is ok, and it doesn't matter what race they are. I, on the other hand, am my own worst critic, which unfortunately, I think a lot of women fall prey to.
I wish people would stop saying things like 'white America' when we live in such a diverse society. I think it's a small percentage who actually believe everyone should be as thin as Cameron Diaz or Lindsey Lohan.
If you are concerned about not having a boyfriend or girlfriend it might be the fact that you're shy, or maybe the crowd you hang out with. If you start meeting more people your chances will improve.
So, yes. Big women can be beautiful--smile, show off your personality, be considerate and caring. Some of the skinniest, unhappiest people are also the ugliest!
2007-02-17 18:58:47 · answer #1 · answered by Violet777 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think that what women need to aim for is being healthy. Are you a healthy size 16 or would your doctor recommend that you drop a few pants' sizes. There are men out there who like bigger women but my advice is to be with someone who likes you for you. Imagine if you get with a guy who likes big girls and then you loose weight. Well there he goes too! If you loose weight and then get with a guy who likes thin girls and then you put the weight back on then you loose him as well! The point I am trying to get across is that when you adjust your looks for others it is a loose-loose situation. Beauty is not defined by a clothing size. America is skinny crazy and it is very dangerous. Your friend was wrong for telling you to rethink what you said. No friend tells someone they wont be accepted because of their size. She probably has some self-esteem issues. Find a man who loves you for your heart because the heart maintains conditions that never change.
2007-02-17 18:52:02 · answer #2 · answered by Jaigurl 3 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Living in America or any place in the world does not require to be beautiful... there are some who discriminates and even tells you, you don't exist... but being big doesn't mean you are beautiful and being small doesn't mean you are beautiful also. In any case, what matters is that you know the fact that you are living a life without hurting someone, you try to be yourself and don't care what others says... just be cool and nice to anybody, the real beauty is from within...
2007-02-17 18:56:33 · answer #3 · answered by firefox 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Big women can be and are beautiful. I think there is a bias in the States and Canada against women of larger sizes, but that doesn't mean everybody feels that way. There are a lot of people on erotic sites that look for BBWs, so I know they're out there. You just have to find somebody that appreciates you for your beauty and your size.
Show the world that you're proud of what you got.
2007-02-17 22:06:40 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
You are beautiful and don't let anyone tell you different, beauty is not just on the outside, even what we are told are the most beautiful people have their faults, the fact that a so called friend is saying this to you speaks volumes i feel they are jealous of you for who you are so to undermine you they are knocking you're confidence, as for the dating thing try different places to meet people, and try to remember the harder you look the further away it will seem to be, I'm sure you will find love in the places you don't expect. Believe in you're self and live life to the full. ENJOY.
2007-02-17 19:02:14 · answer #5 · answered by Pink 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Don't let anyone bring you down! Real beauty comes in all sizes and shapes and colors. As long as you have confidence in your self then you will go far. It is hard in today's world, with all these celebs that are like two pounds and are still dieting but there are some good guys out there that can look past weight and see you for who you are. Just don't ever lower your confidence if you feel beautiful and act like you know your beautiful you will be beautiful, and men will see that and love that in you.
You are beautiful
No matter what they say
Words can't bring you down
2007-02-17 18:50:42 · answer #6 · answered by Megz 2 · 2⤊ 0⤋
BIG IS DEFINATELY BEAUTIFUL!!
i'm not big...but i think that big people come with big personalities && that's a good thing! this "white" america your friend is talking about only includes those who are vain && self conceited && who think that people who are big are not beautiful...&& that's NOT all of america. && just because you haven't had a boyfriend or girlfriend in a long time only means that you haven't found the right person yet && that's okay. it's easy to love a big person!
2007-02-17 18:54:53 · answer #7 · answered by elena 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I think some big girls are attractive and I know some guys exclusively like bigger girls. If you have a nice aura about you that goes along way. You are right American society is filled with images of young flawless women with perfect figures so I can see how people can develop a complex. I'm sure you can find someone if you want to.
2007-02-17 18:55:11 · answer #8 · answered by timmy h 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Sadly, we live in a society full of shallow people. I would say majority's opinion would be that big women are not considered beautiful. There are, however, some people who think that and they truly believe that, for whatever the reason may be.
So, to answer your question, you can be beautiful in someone's eyes. But chances are, you wont seem beautiful to most others.
2007-02-17 18:50:46 · answer #9 · answered by interlude 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I think you shouldn't let people make you want to lose weight. If you like the way you look now, don't change just because someone told you to re think that. Just because you're not in a relationship with someone doesn't mean that you're unattractive. It just means that you haven't found the right person yet. If you are uncomfortable with your weight, then go on a healthy diet, but don't go on a diet because someone told you to.
2007-02-17 18:50:30 · answer #10 · answered by Joshua T 2 · 2⤊ 0⤋