I met this guy on net and I dont share with him some things which for me is private matter, like I have an almost 3 year-old baby. His work gave him chances of travelling in many countries, till I met him in person not just once and he fell in love with me. Everything seems good, till I felt close to him that I have learned to love him too.
We hang out together, communicate often when apart and we're like in a boyfriend-girlfriend relationship for months now.
I never knew that I'm going to love him, I thought he was just a net friend and it will stop there. I can feel his sincerity, efforts and he's a nice person. I wanted to tell him about my baby, and this bothers me for months now bcoz our relationship's now becoming so intimate. I'm afraid how things will go and how will I start telling him. I dont know if he will understand everything. I'm 23 and he's 28, I love him so much now. He will again visit me soon.
I need an advice
2007-02-17 18:32:02 · 9 answers · asked by Samantha 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
We haven't talk about personal matters yet, I mean..I only knew few things about him and vice versa. We haven't seen each other's family yet. We are just starting to build a relationship.
My plan before was to forget him, anyway I only met him on net where I was just looking around to ease my boredom. But, as days passed, I felt its so hard to let go of him. Its unfair with him...I can feel he loves me and I also love him now.
BTW, I'm single
2007-02-17 18:32:53 · update #1
You have to be straight with him. Because you have not talked about personal matter as of yet you don't know how he will feel about your baby. There are many men that can't handle this. Before he makes plans to come see you let him make this decision based on full disclosure. It is better to find out now that later.
2007-02-17 18:38:29 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
From what you shared it sounds like you are attracted to him, not in love with him. I don't think you can love someone until you know the personal stuff. That's what makes you love someone. Why don't you suggest a little Q&A game over the internet? Each of you get to ask several questions of the other in each message. This will give you the chance to broach personal matters that you need to know before you get much deeper into this deal. And it will give you a chance to let him know that you have a child. If you really are meant to be together, the fact that you have a child won't matter. Good luck!
2007-02-18 02:41:20 · answer #2 · answered by HomeGrown 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I basically agree with Homegrown. You can love anything from chocolate ice cream to your Mom, but you can't be sure you're "in love" with someone until you're in a very honest and open relationship with them. (remember, he may not be telling you everything yet either)
the Q & A game might be a good start, or just writing a letter saying whats true. For example, that at first you didn't take it too seriously and now you're starting to think you want more than a fling, so maybe its time to tell each other everything about yourselves. And that you'll start by telling him something you've started to feel bad about not talking about..
2007-02-18 03:09:29 · answer #3 · answered by netizen 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
That is messed up. You should have told him from the get-go. Some men don't want children(same with women) and assumed you didn't have a child when you started hanging out with him.
I myself would take this as a red flag(You lied to me straight up. (when it comes to a child, if you hide it from me you are lying to me)) What other IMPORTANT things could you be hiding from me just so I won't go away.
Tell him immedietly and be prepared for his reaction.
Love is important but he will have to live with this child when you two are together so he will be responsible for the child. That's an extremelly important part of you -- it IS you. He may not be ready for children, but then again he may be so it will be a good thing!! but never hold off on important information about yourself.
2007-02-18 02:54:29 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Your child should be the most important person in your life for you, you should tell him right up front that now that things are getting more personal, you must tell him that you have a 3 year old child, if he doesn't accept it then he's not worthy of you and your baby. Don't break your heart for some one who wouldn't take your baby, your baby should always come first.
2007-02-18 02:39:41 · answer #5 · answered by maccaroni 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If he really loves you, than having a child won't make him leave. He may be upset that you didn't share this part of your life with him, but if loves you like he claims, he'll get over it and will want to know more about your child and may want to meet them (which I wouldn't recommend until he's met a male family member).
2007-02-18 02:36:04 · answer #6 · answered by Skeater_2 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i think if you care about him like you say you do you should tell him you have a child i would like to think if he had a child he would of have told you by now. but it seems like you really like him and if you do then honesty is the best policy. even if you haven't talked about personal matters yet but you will eventually so tell him now to avoid confusion and anger later. good luck
2007-02-18 02:38:33 · answer #7 · answered by Juliaysha247 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Be honest, tell him the truth. He deserves to know before it goes any further. If he truly loves YOU, he will accept you how you come, package and all. Good luck.
2007-02-18 02:37:40 · answer #8 · answered by ? 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
just be honest. he will appreciate it.
2007-02-18 02:35:12 · answer #9 · answered by carriec 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋