I lost my job and we have little income comming in and about a 3 months ago he was dignosed with diabetees and about month a ago my spouse was told he has cancer and they have to operate on him. how do I cope with all that is going on.and find a job at the same time. we have 5 kids and they are all acting differently with this news. how can I help them all and still keep up with the bills?
2007-02-17 18:18:20 · 10 answers · asked by cindy b 2 in Health ➔ Diseases & Conditions ➔ Cancer
My heart goes out to you, as this is a very difficult siuation. It sounds as tho you have your hands full and you need help to deal with the practical things of life. First of all, do you belong to a church? Even if you have not been an active member, churches are networks of people that can provide you with free counseling for both you and your children, people to help with meals and other support networks. Second, as a nurse, I can tell you that when we care for patients, we are required to assess what kind of social service support the family needs -- counseling, financial assistance, etc. You said your husband would be undergoing surgery. DO contact the doctor or hospital involved in your spouses care, and ask to be put in contact with the medical social worker. They are compassionate and very helpful in a practical way. Last, DO contact your kids teachers and let them know what is happening. Schools are another source of help and support for your kids, from counseling, to after-school programs to lighten your load. And please, please, tell your friends and extended family what is going on in your life. It is not God's desire that you should face this time alone and He WILL provide the help and support you need if you reach out. I do know from experience what you are going thru, as 8 years ago, my husband was diagnosed with cancer as well. My kids were young, and it was a very scary time. But God did meet us, provided help and support and my husband is still here with me today. I will be praying for you. Good luck.
2007-02-17 18:27:31 · answer #1 · answered by Concerned50 2 · 3⤊ 0⤋
My husband has stage 4 non small cell lung cancer that is now in his brain again. He was diagnosed 3 years ago. Life gets very hard. When someone offers to help you accept anything. The kids will have behavior changes. Try to keep their lives as normal as possible. Have a benefit for your family. Get people to organize one. Your husband can get disability automatically with cancer.If you have to, go to the state for help. Also don't forget about yourself, your health. Find a job where you can be home when the kids are. For example something in the school system. You don't need a degree necessarily for certain jobs. We have been days from losing everything. It works out. Say your prayers and don't turn anyone down who offers any kind of assistance to you.
Addition: As for your bills- call the light and gas company and explain your situation. They will work with you. The telephone company will also. Pay what needs to be paid right now. Mortgage, insurance, lights and gas. Credit cards can wait. You may not want to wait on them but if you can not even make the minimum payment then you have no choice. Call up your billing companies. Most will work with you.
2007-02-18 01:17:49 · answer #2 · answered by redwidow 5 · 3⤊ 0⤋
You are in for the ride of your life. I think you should take time to pray and set up a support system for yourself and your children.
If any of these 5 children are old enough to get a job, I would help them to find one. Get involved with a church and find out where the nearest food bank is and go help yourself.
Apply for public aid or at least a medical card and find out what kind of support network the hospital has for your husbands treatment. Many hospitals offer reduced price medical care or even free medical care for people on a limited income. It sounds like you foot the bill.
I dont know what kind of background you have, so I am not sure what kind of job is available to you. Probably would help to just start watching the newspaper help wanted ads.
If your husband is walking, he should help you with the children to keep the household going. Diabetes does not stop anyone from working. Also, depending on what kind of cancer he has, he probably could do some kind of job....as cold as it sounds, this is reality.
I am praying for you and wish you the best of luck.
Also, your husband needs to apply for social security disability and as far as his meds go, your doctor or social work services at the hospital can get him reduced medication or free stuff. You would be amazed.
2007-02-18 04:15:53 · answer #3 · answered by happydawg 6 · 2⤊ 0⤋
It is very hard I know what are you talking about. I was diagnostic 2 times with cervical cancer and my daughter was in that time 4 and 6,5 years old. My husband had any job so I know what you are going true. Just say to yourself, everything will be OK and get better. Get any help from the Government what you can get it. This is what we do too. Like food stamps, Wic program, unemployment money all that. Some how, work it out.
I'm praying for you and wish you good luck.
2007-02-18 05:40:13 · answer #4 · answered by cat 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
This may sound a little tough, but you need to do what needs to be done. Be strong. Be courageous. You have no choice in what is going on in your life right now, so you need to make the best of things for the sake of your children. You can do this. Human beings are amazing creatures. Make a pact with yourself, that you will get through all this one day at a time. That is all you can do for now.
There is financial aide for people who meet the poverty guidelines. You need to contact your medical social workers to guide you through this maze. Ask your husbands doctor or the local hospital how to contact them. You can also contact the local American Cancer Society who will have suggestions for you on what to do financially.
Medical Insurance and Financial Assistance for the Cancer Patient
http://www.cancer.org/docroot/MIT/content/MIT_3_2X_Medical_Insurance_and_Financial_Assistance_for_the_Cancer_Patient.asp
Resources
http://www.cancer.org/docroot/MIT/content/MIT_3_2X_Medical_Insurance_and_Financial_Assistance_for_the_Cancer_Patient.asp#resources
You should also check out Medicare and Medicade and disability. Also be sure to check with your hospital about the Hill Burton Program that offers free or low cost service to those unable to pay.
Hill-Burton Free and Reduced Cost Health Care
http://www.hrsa.gov/hillburton/
2007-02-18 01:32:30 · answer #5 · answered by Panda 7 · 2⤊ 0⤋
I am very sorry to hear this. My mom had cancer a few years back, one of the biggest things is family. Emotional support from close friends and family will help keep you feeling that you can go on, because you can. There are federal and state aid programs that are easy to apply for and can help keep you on your feet. Keep your friends close, and I know its hard but don't bottle more than you can hold, a pillow can take a lot without complaining.
Best Wishes.
Bacladantu
2007-02-17 18:32:23 · answer #6 · answered by bacladantu 2 · 3⤊ 0⤋
My wife just finished having reconstructive surgery, after having a breast removed due to breast cancer. We don't have any kids, but we do have several pets. I can only tell you that your spouse needs you more than ever right now, but you also have no choice but to continue with your life as normal. Be strong, and don't let it stop you, or slow you down. One thing I learned while I was supervising security in Beverly Hills; never let your men see your emotions, even in the worst of times.
You're the commanding officer right now...don't let your men see your emotions; they need you.
I hope everything works out for you, and yes, my wife is cancer free now.
2007-02-17 18:43:50 · answer #7 · answered by Hawkster 5 · 3⤊ 0⤋
My heart aches for you. I'm not experienced with these exact issues but have a friend whose family went through something similar. One important thing is that while showing sympathy and kindness towards him you don't act like everything is so horrible and that the worst is yet to come. Look up from here. See your future as a family who is healthy and happy. Let the Dr. take care of him physically and let them worry about that. You can help him with the emotional recovery. You need to celebrate your children and what all of you have to be thankful for. Be understanding to each of their unique ways of dealing with this even if they seem cold or mean. Look towards community resources for financial advice. Best wishes!
2007-02-17 18:29:41 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 3⤊ 0⤋
I had lung maximum cancers in 1994 they took area of my left lung out. i'm getting help from American maximum cancers society. and you will locate if there are any help communities on your section. I stay in Fl. 6 mos and Co. 6mos and that i connect with bothgroups. additionally call you well-being branch and social provider on your section. stable success and dangle in there and look up. you are able to consistently blame somebody else yet placed it the place it belongs My husband died in 1990 from lung issues
2016-10-15 22:15:55 · answer #9 · answered by ? 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i know your pain my husband has cancer and my mom has cancer they found out about 2 weeks apart you cant do it all you need help as i do but i have no other family to help his wont i had to quit my job to care for him go to the DHS they can get you help to pay the bill and get food for your family it wont be easy i know and you will need someone to talk to if you do email me what type of cancer does he have mine has mouth cancer and had a radical neck dissection not fun at all
2007-02-17 20:04:30 · answer #10 · answered by mountainchowpurple 4 · 2⤊ 0⤋